Haven't I always loved you
by Sammy088
Summary: Sam should've known what he was getting into when he offers to distract Cas from pining over his unrequited love for Dean. Then again he didn't expect to end up pregnant and Cas never expected to fall hopelessly in love with someone who wasn't Dean.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter One

Sam didn't want to get into the middle of any arguments involving his brother and his brother's angel but the noise level was starting to make his head hurt. According to what he was hearing, he realized that Dean was breaking up with Cas for the fifth time this week. The angel was trying to ease Dean out of it but it seemed his stubborn genes were coming into play and he was outright denying any requests that Cas had.

The younger brother definitely felt sorry for Cas but that didn't mean that he thought Dean was the one that was sorely responsible for this. Cas kept taking him back whenever Dean felt like getting back together and with the mind blowing sex that Sam had to listen to on occasion, it was wonder why Cas wouldn't just dump him and have enough with it. The angel didn't get sex and only knew what Dean had taught him.

He winced when Dean slammed the door behind him and left the dejected angel in the middle of the motel room. Sam thought it would have been better if they were to remember that he was here but ever since Dean came back from hell, their bond suffered. It only worsened after Dean found him with Ruby exorcising a demon with his mind. Sam closed his eyes and rubbed away the start of a migraine.

Cas seemed to hate him as well which, considering the fact that Sam was only the boy with the demon blood to him, it stood to reason. He couldn't help himself though. He was transfixed with those piercing blue eyes and he figured that if Dean wanted to dump him so much, he didn't really deserve Cas at all. Of course, Sam probably wasn't any better but at least he wasn't treating the angel as a constant rebound guy.

"You know you don't have to take that," he told the angel before he could stop himself. Cas looked his way and Sam froze wondering why he would say that out loud knowing Cas barely looked in his direction as it was.

"Why are you here? Did you listen to our full conversation because that's just-"

"Well it's a nice thought you could have had before you started arguing," Sam quickly snapped. He looked over and realized what he did, trying to fix it quickly. "I mean, I was here and I didn't want to disturb you and leaving meant that but I didn't want to hear all that…either. Why do you have to pretend I don't exist when you guys argue? Go fight somewhere that I don't have to have that chance to-"

"Sorry if my argument with your brother is too tedious to even reach your ears," Cas slammed back and made Sam actually blink.

"I didn't mean-Cas I know it's important and that's not what I was getting at. I can't listen into what you guys are saying because it's none of my business and not that other thing," he cut himself off, going back to the computer and surmising that Cas would leave right away.

Cas however hovered over him and Sam thought that the angel really didn't know personal space like Dean had once told him. Sam gulped trying to slow his racing heart before looking back up at Cas who seemed mildly confused even. This brought curiosity to his eyes but he tried to hide it, something he wasn't good at.

"Dean doesn't like being with me for long periods of time. He ends up getting pleased by women and he breaks up with me so that he doesn't feel like he's cheating."

Sam nodded wondering why Cas told him this.

"He also says I have no feelings about anything and while I don't get them, I do know a joke or two."

Sam continued to listen, closing the lap top which seemed to be the wrong thing to do. Cas smirked and edged over, making the younger hunter already uncomfortable and worrying if he knew about the hidden crush he held for the angel. It didn't matter though because he wasn't Dean and he was a virgin in that way. He fought the heat from rising to his face but Cas seemed to still be interested.

"It's weird that someone who says that it's none of their business and then listens without any harm done."

"I was listening to you Cas. You sounded like you wanted someone to talk to." Sam gulped nervously noticing that if Cas was any closer, he would be right on his lips. "It's different because then I'm not listening to you argue with Dean, I-I'm being a friend and letting you get it all out-"

"Because you care?" Cas asked suddenly and Sam found himself nodding before he could even reply. Cas snorted before backing away and Sam found himself breathing easier. "I don't need you to care enough to pity me."

"I'm not pitying you," Sam told him before he could stop himself. "I've been in a similar situation before. I dated this girl in college before I met Jess and she would cheat on me all the time. She didn't even tell me to my face that she was but it became knowledge soon enough. I finally got to realize that she wasn't worth it-"

"Dean is worth it though," Cas told him slamming his fist on the table.

Sam jumped and blinked, wondering what his issue was.

He nodded seeing as how Cas seemed to be ranting and raving. He was going to be moping until Dean took him back but seeing as how they had a case in South Key West, Florida, he felt like it was going to be a while. Supposedly there was a haunted house that people weren't taking seriously. He may have found a connection but until Dean came back, they couldn't really go there and get a head start.

"Dean is worth every single wait-"

"Maybe you just need to stop complaining and keep yourself occupied until he gets around to realizing that he was taking you for granted. I mean he doesn't seem to care and the more he sees that you can't stand being broken up, the more he's going to do this-"

"Why would I want to sleep with anyone else knowing that there's no one else for me?"

Sam paused quickly telling himself not to do it. He didn't want himself infiltrated with the drama that was Cas and Dean but he really liked the thought and the angel. Dean really shouldn't take the angel for granted either which would truly be such a shame but Sam swallowed to keep himself from thinking about Dean now. This was all about Cas. It wasn't techniqually cheating if he offered and Cas accepted. He would stop moping and Dean would take him back faster. He only hoped his fingers weren't shaking underneath everything to cue Cas in on how nervous he was.

"Well you could pretend to sleep with Dean all the while keeping yourself controlled. Dean will come to his senses and chase you instead-"

"Like I would have someone I would pretend to be Dean! You Winchesters are stubborn; I don't know why I even talk to you! You are just like Dean in that regard Sam-"The angel seemed to realize it though and instantly shook his head. Sam waited to know what was going to be said but the angel instantly rebutted that statement. "I'm not going to use you to pretend to be Dean. What if something happens and you find yourself liking me? You are already an abomination Sam and even if you weren't this could send out the wrong message. Do you really want to do this when you could find someone you like for you? "

Sam furiously shook his head.

If he really thought about it, he didn't have any thoughts based on this. He already had a crush on Cas and any other relationship was not going to happen. He ruined that when Jessica died. But Cas was definitely not going to feel different about Dean nor was he going to have sex with someone else whilst he was still pining over Dean as well.

"You are a fool then," Cas told him.

Sam then found himself all alone.

* * *

It didn't seem to happen right away but soon Sam found that Cas would look curiously at him and it didn't stop there, he seemed to notice Sam more and would even try to bring Sam into the conversation. Dean seemed a small tad irritated by the attention Sam was actually getting now and Sam tried to tell him that he had nothing to do with it. Dean believed him but he could tell he was getting jealous.

On the case, it turned out that it was the spirit of an old lady who used to saw up kids and hide them in the back of her house because the kids pranked her one too many times. It seemed her sick fetish had even survived being dead. Just seeing the bodies in the basement had to make anyone sick. Dean had lit the house on fire before Sam could even stop him and before he could go on about it, the older hunter pulled him against the car, fisting his jacket.

"Listen Sam, I am tired of all your games. You pretend to think you are so smart but I'm not stupid. I don't even know what you're doing with Ruby but at least that has stopped. Just because you feel bad ass taking demons out of people with your mind doesn't mean you could criticize this. I know the lady's bones are in this house and it would take too long to find! I also know that if they find the bodies, there's going to be too many depressed parents and the last anyone wants is to lose hope after finding out their kid was dead all along-"

"You can't do that Dean; they deserve the right to bury their kid and to have some closure. What's going to be better huh? Thinking that their kid doesn't love them and ran away-"

"Like you? Oh, so you could go on and on about someone's mistakes but when we bring it back to you, it's wrong? I forgot that Sam can't make mistakes-"Seeing Sam stare in silent shock, Dean sighed before pulling himself away from Sam's jacket.

"I don't care about this anymore, we're done." He turned back to Sam and added, "If you think they would be just as happy to find out their child is never coming back, be my guest. Stop the house from burning but don't come crying to me later when you realize you regret it. Otherwise, get in the car!"

Sam hesitated knowing closure was better than all those thoughts but then he stopped. Wasn't it better hoping that their child would come back instead of the alternative? Nobody liked realizing their kid was never coming home and knowing some of the stuff he's seen alone, he knew he wanted to tell them differently. He finally turned away from the house and got into the passenger seat of the car. Dean looked smug and triumphant and maybe he had every reason to be.

But he was wrong about one thing because doing this was still wrong. Because those kids were dead no matter what their parents hoped for and those family members would die before they ever found out the truth.

Sometimes this job sucked.

* * *

Sam knew that driving so many hours during the day was exhausting and it was the only reason that the younger brother decided not to go to the bar with Dean. It wasn't like he was disappointed by the fact and he wiggled his eyebrows, giving Sam the message not to bother waiting up for him. Sam sighed and took a shower, all the while pondering how his and Dean's relationship could be so messed up. He wanted to rekindle it and he knew that wasn't going to happen if he fought him in every step of the way so he'd back off a bit.

He knew he had to.

Stepping out of the shower, Sam dressed himself in a simple t-shirt and green and red plaid boxers. He quickly brushed his teeth before heading over to his bed with every intention of getting under the covers. It was the cold Kentucky wind and if it hadn't been so cold, Sam knew that he would have skipped the comforter completely. He turned off the light switch and laid back and closed his eyes.

Strong lips attached themselves to his mouth and he had to fight not to make a sound. There was a shushing sound and it became apparent that it was Cas. He wondered frankly if Cas meant to get into Dean's bed and forgot he wasn't here until Cas spoke up.

"I've been thinking about what you were saying and you are right. I'm too hung over with him. If I were to lie with you and pretend you were Dean to make it easier, then I wouldn't be so smitten and Dean won't leave me again. He says I'm too clingy and Anna even says that the problem is that I don't make my own decisions. Don't worry though because it'll be great. It can't mean anything though."

Sam knew that. He was a little anxious though since he never actually done this before and offering himself up was really an extremely stupid thing to do but seeing as how he would only get one chance, he took it. He nodded and barely got the answer out before he was thrown back and the lips were back over his.

Cas's tongue begged entrance and he let him in, letting the angel explore every cavern of his mouth. A part of his mind told him that this was really wrong but he turned it off. He hesitantly wondered if he should bring his hands up so he was doing something with them, but it flew right out of the window when Cas started attacking his neck. His shirt was removed before he knew it and Cas was licking and biting down his chest and stomach.

Sam moaned before he could stop himself and only seemed to goad the angel further on. Cas removed his own clothes and he removed Sam's boxers lastly, making Sam anxious all over again. He was able to forget it when Cas had his hands on him before but now this was all he could think about. The angel had a knee between his legs and he used the other to nudge them apart.

"Relax yourself," Cas instructed him.

Sam nodded.

He couldn't say anything and when Cas brought out the tube of lube, Sam thought momentarily that he was going to faint. Cas didn't seem to catch that and continued to spread them on his fingers before going back up and kissing him on the mouth again. Sam got right into it again, what was going to happen had become forgotten until he felt fingers encircling his entrance. He let out a squeak that was muffled by Cas's mouth and was glad that it was all. He still wasn't happy but all thoughts went right out the window when Cas pushed two fingers in. Sam took a shuddering breath to combat the painful burn he felt right about now. He tried to convince himself that he had wanted this, especially when Cas shoved a third in there rather roughly and was scissoring it open. Sam shuddered and held on, hoping the pain would go away.

"You're not a virgin are you by any chance?" Cas's voice nearly startled Sam and he quickly shook his head.

"No."

Cas seemed to find something interesting about what he said because before he knew it, something much bigger than the fingers was being pushed in. He seemed to be holding his breathe and steeling for the pain.

He felt he was being ripped open bit by bit but he didn't want Cas to know that he had never done this so he kept his mouth shut. Cas didn't even give him time to adjust after he was buried to the hilt before he started going into a rhythm, pounding into him. Sam let out a moan when pain gave way to pleasure. It didn't take long before Cas fell on him and drew him into a bruising kiss.

When Cas pulled out though, he saw what Cas seemed upset about. The condom broke and it had probably been halfway through as well. He stopped himself from telling Cas that it was okay and it meant nothing anyways because regardless of the reason, it was still sex and it could still end in an infant. To his surprise, Cas threw it in the trash and threw his clothes back on.

"Don't worry about it, Dean and I had this problem before too. Condoms break and angel babies aren't easily made. It takes a real pure person to make one and if Dean can't then you definitely aren't."

Sam nodded reassured.

Before leaving though, Cas went to open his mouth but Sam already understood. He was dressed back himself and realizing that he would need another shower soon but all in all; it had to be worth it. Cas was gone and only then did he let himself feel what he had previously denied himself. Although Cas was rather harsh for his first time, he hadn't known and it ended up being good. Sam never imagined it being like that but he figured that was okay because even though the condom broke, that hadn't meant anything.

Dean came back whistling and seemed surprised to see Sam asleep. He glanced at the clock and noticed that it was only eleven. He was about to shake his brother awake and ask him himself when he happened to see the condom in the trash can. He grinned wickedly before going to the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

By the time he was all ready and under the covers he tenderly said a goodnight to his baby brother and turned over to sleep. He didn't notice that Sam was awake. Sam really couldn't sleep because even though he knew what he was getting into, it didn't stop the fact that his feelings for Cas already existed before Cas finally agreed. It would take a while for him to sleep and all he could think about was the way Cas seemed to worry about hurting him.

A small smile appeared on his face at that.

Maybe Cas did give the littlest bit of damn about him after all.


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Two

It only took two months to get the feeling that Sam was being torn between his brother and the angel at every turn. His brother would demand his presence whenever he consulted Cas now and Cas would take to glaring silently at the back of Dean's head but then would return later when Dean wasn't there to take what he wanted from Sam.

Sam was more exhausted than ever but he decided not to call them on it. They needed to work things out and Sam was really getting to the point of telling them all to fuck off. It was bad enough when Uriel showed up with Cas the other day to insult them for the case they had taken in Delaware. Supposedly those witches were on the run from demons that wanted them dead and were more useful alive. What made them gank those sorry suckers was the fact that they didn't hesitate in taking the lives of children.

"Really Cas? Because I'm thinking you're letting the fact that you occasionally fuck me get to your head. You can't tell me what to do even if you aren't in a relationship with me sometimes. So screw you you asshole." Sam winced listening to them once again fighting.

Sam didn't even know that Cas would be in today but it was the fact that they were that didn't surprise the younger hunter. Sighing, he held his stomach as he fought not to throw up the remainder of what was in his stomach. He hoped Cas didn't have anything and passed it to him because ever since Cas had been having intercourse with him, he'd been having stomach cramps occasionally and horrible nausea. Keeping himself from whining, he quickly turned on the bath water before he vomited in the toilet once again. The water ought to drown out any noise from him and they would continue to fight.

He heard the door slam and turned it off, hoping that they both learned to talk someplace else when he ran into Uriel of all angels. The man was of course, deeply upset that Sam was in his presence at all but the smirk was wiped off of his face for some reason and Sam raised an eyebrow before going around him to get his bag. His hair was in knots and he needed a shower. Uriel broke out in a smirk again with reasons unknown and Sam hesitated wondering if he was ever going to say anything.

"I heard you're whoring yourself to demons. You think maybe you would allow us angels to let a go at you. Heard you were great in bed as well-"

Sam rolled his eyes and walked past him but not before the angel pulled him against the wall. Sam blinked and hoped that the angel wasn't going to touch him. He wouldn't give his consent for this and he hoped Uriel realized it.

"Heard a rumor that you may not be pure in some areas but this you are extremely pure in. Angels are desperate for offspring sometimes but I'm not one of them. I just happen to think you mud monkeys are wasting your time. You really think that Castiel would leave Dean by any chance? You are ruining not only their life but yours so why don't you stop being such a pathetic hopeless mud monkey and play the way we want you to. Like I said you are still useful-"

Before Sam could get away from Uriel, he quickly found himself throwing up on the angel before he could stop himself. Looking up at him in awe, he quickly scooted away from him and ran to the bathroom, slamming it shut.

He could only hope the angel didn't take that as a personal insult and tried to smite him for it.

* * *

After that Uriel didn't show up no matter how much Sam dreaded it. He also dreaded telling Cas that he couldn't do this with him anymore because no matter how much of a jerk Uriel was, he was right and Sam would never have Castiel's love. Cas's heart belonged to Dean's already.

Closing his eyes, he almost fell asleep at the rim of the toilet bowl and only jerked himself awake when he felt the need to throw up again. He was more or less finished feeling nauseous just as Dean came back from wherever he had been these days. The Connecticut weather was more if not the same as it had been in Kentucky those many weeks ago and Sam knew it was going to snow soon. It was late November and it was getting chilly fast. He knew Dean was about ready to spring south soon and Sam found himself agreeing.

"Are you okay Sam?" Dean asked concerned. "You're looking a little pale."

He quickly placed a palm on Sam's forehead and frowned, about what Sam didn't know. Instead Dean led Sam to one of the beds and helped Sam out of his jeans and over shirt, throwing a blanket over him afterwards. Sam looked confused but Dean just placed a washcloth over his forehead and brought a hand over his hair.

"Sam are you feeling sick?" Sam shook his head and Dean continued to play with his smooth hair, letting Sam have the comfort of knowing he was nearby if Sam were to need something. It only made Sam feel more guilty for what he was doing with Cas behind closed doors. He closed his eyes momentarily realizing that Uriel was right. He couldn't do this anymore and hurt Dean. Dean was his brother and would give anything for Sam so it was only right that Sam stepped down this time and gave something up for his brother. Something that belonged to the older one in the first place anyhow.

He woke up hours later with a start and realized he had his hand fisted over Dean's shirt. Dean was leaning back on the headboard beside Sam's head and was watching television. Sam knew he was doing this for him though and that was only because of the fact that he looked bored surfing the channels. Sam would have said something but he felt nauseous again. He tried to wiggle out of the blankets and make it to the bathroom in time but Dean, being the awesome unappreciated big brother he was, scooped up the trash can for Sam to vomit in.

"I'm sorry," he moaned out as he leant over it. Dean just rubbed soothing circles in his back, holding him near even when Sam was done getting sick. There was no way he could know what Sam could even be apologizing for but Sam knew that he seemed angry about it.

"Not you too. Listen, are you okay?" Sam nodded and Dean stood back. "I've agreed to take Cas back and I know that it wasn't right to you know, keep him at arm's length but Sammy, everyone we know we usually lose. I didn't want to lose him too. Cas set me straight on things though and everything is cool again. He even apologized even though it wasn't his fault. I think I love him too."

Sam nodded feeling bad about what he had caused.

Maybe the fact that he was sick was his punishment for giving Cas the idea of cheating on Dean with him. He knew it wasn't techniqually cheating but he was with his brother's angel and there had to be a written rule about not doing that. He knew he never fucked the same girl as his brother before. He hid his face behind his hands, feeling miserable all over again.

"Sammy, I could tell him another day and stay here if you feel like crap-"

"No Dean, you need to go with Cas," Sam quickly retaliated. "You can't just tell me that you could feel love for the angel and then just go out and do that. Be with him and I'll be fine. I-I promise."

Dean seemed hesitant but Sam knew that it wouldn't be that way for long even when Sam felt bad enough right now. Dean deserved the good after being in hell for four months. Sam sighed when he heard the door close and stood up hesitantly. He knew he wasn't getting enough liquids with the way he was puking and thought maybe; being out in the outside air would help. Taking a couple of steps, he only made it as far as the bed before he collapsed. He was too sore and too nauseous to move.

It didn't matter cause he would convince himself that tomorrow would be better, it always was.

* * *

They had another case in Memphis, Tennessee and while it wasn't too much warmer than it had been in Connecticut, he knew it was much better. Sam could breathe easier and Dean wasn't the same weary person he had been. It was great.

Sam looked over the notes of the case they had taken on and realizing it was not much harder than it had been the last three months, threw the papers aside. It was a damn demon again and Sam was tired of having cases with demons involved. He had the small feeling that Cas was involved in that and probably wanted them to take care of it though so he wasn't going to complain.

Looking over, he noticed Dean's sandwich. He just left it there and most likely went out with Cas. He usually didn't care but for some reason he was really hungry. He thought about what Dean would do if he came back and saw that his sandwich was eaten and as much as he wanted it, he knew he couldn't let himself have any. He snapped his lap top shut and grabbed his wallet and headed out the door to go to the diner and find something that would take his temptation away.

He passed a McDonald's a couple of blocks away and sighed, going in and deciding he would get a stupid meal and head back before his brother killed him. He ordered and it took him all of seven minutes to get back to the motel. He opened it and felt himself smile at the fact that he hadn't had to worry about eating Dean's stupid bacon cheese burger after all. He had a big mac with extra lettuce and tomatoes, a large fry, and a large vanilla shake. He didn't need his brother's stupid burger because he had more than that sandwich could ever provide.

Biting into it he couldn't believe that he went his whole life not even trying the thing. He let himself have a couple of fries and dipped a couple of them in his shake as well finding that it went along better. Groaning when his stomach started to ach, he eased on the fries a bit but downed the whole shake and ate the rest of the burger. He went back to his fries as soon as his brother and Cas came back and paused, seeing Dean's amused look.

"Can I help you-"

"Sammy when did you get an appetite? I had a feeling that you were hungry and I left the sandwich there for you," he told him gently. Sam thought it had been Dean's so he hadn't thought of actually eating it but now that he did, he didn't want to. The McDonalds surprisingly filled him up more than he thought it would. He pushed aside the rest of his fries and opened his lap top back up.

Dean took a seat and seeing as how Sam didn't want the fries anymore, he ate the sandwich and the remainder of Sam's fries. He was a little surprised though that Sam had been eating something other than his rabbit food. Cas sat beside Dean and hadn't even been looking Sam's way although the younger hunter thought it was probably for the best.

"So the demon?"

Sam took a second to reorganize his thoughts and once he did, his mouth dropped in an o shape before he shook his head. He could see that Dean was getting annoyed and closed his eyes, hoping to calm his sudden headache. His head was likely to explode from the pressure but after a minute, it cleared up and quickly opened it to realize that he had almost pushed himself away from the table and onto the floor.

"You keep this up and you're going to get committed," Dean threatened. Sam went to ask what it was about when Dean put a hoody over Sam's frame. "You are chilled like ice little brother. Do you ever take care of yourself?"

"I probably didn't imagine falling then, huh?"

"No you didn't but it didn't explain the fact that you feel cold now-"

"Oh I found out about the demon. The reason no one knows anything about him is because he's a tricky little shit. He's hiding out at that little snow globe factory," he added seeing the look of shock on Dean's face. He didn't look over but found himself thinking that the angel was pretty surprised as well.

"Okay, you stay here and get some rest and I'll go with Cas to get rid of the thing. He's causing issues with his sacrifice and I don't want you in the middle of this. You'd probably make him mad by throwing up on him."

"Yeah, rest," Sam agreed. "I think sleeping is a great idea."

"Sure you would." Dean didn't even bother arguing. "I don't know what I should do with you Sam but whatever it is, don't change because it's keeping us entertained."

Sam found himself helped to the bed and asleep before the covers even went over him. Who knew how he knew that little bit of information but he did and under the warm covers he was really warm and fuzzy like. He dreamt easy that night without a single interruption.

* * *

Sam threw up again just as Dean entered the room and Sam quickly flushed the toilet and made like he was finished using the toilet. The knock came like he thought it would and he left the bathroom, seeing Dean about to mother hen him again.

"I'm fine Dean, I'm fine," he quickly reassured. "I'll be getting breakfast now for both of us and yeah, I'll pick something for Castiel too."

He quickly left and went to the store before he even thought of breakfast to look up which pregnancy tests were the most accurate. He wasn't quite sure but he was sure not all brands were going to be the same so he got three. He then went to the diner and put in the order before excusing himself to the restroom and instantly went into one of the stalls instead. Since all three of the instructions were basically the same, he peed on the sticks and waited for three minutes. He hoped he wasn't and he closed his eyes all the while wishing he definitely didn't get knocked up by Cas. He was in a relationship with his big brother and he knew it would be horrible.

To his relief he saw that all of them read negative. He noticed one of them looked a little iffy actually but since the other two read straight negative, he was glad. His body was probably rebelling against all the health stuff that he ate and wanted something more fatty, greasy and –he threw up just thinking about that but he knew now that he couldn't get pregnant at least not easily and not by his brother's angel.

He quickly trashed it and went to get his brother's food. He even ordered some pie since he was so happy. He paused by the door when one of the customers went by and touched his hand, causing him to freak out. This lady killed her baby in cold blood! He didn't know how but he knew and he made a quick apology and before he even got out the door, he tripped into a man and instantly knew he was a rapist and murderer. What was happening to him? He quickly ran back to the car and tried to get his breathing under control. Last night he refused to look at the case and all of a sudden he knew that the demon was in the factory and he was cold as well.

He quickly raced traffic to get back to the motel. He was almost there, almost there, he whispered to himself. Before he could even wrench the door open though, he bumped into the nice old lady next door who had a lot of cats she hid in there and freaked out more than the others. This was a nice old lady and he thought she was kind before he found that she snuck small children and drug them before playing with them. She ditched their bodies in the woods or the lake. Wherever she stayed at the time after she was finished. He screamed and banged on the door until his brother answered and oh boy what a sorry sight he was. Dean finally got him inside all the while apologizing to the kind old lady before dragging Sam to the bed. Sam was pathetically whimpering now and quickly curled into himself when Dean tried to put a hand on his shoulder.

He in fact screamed when Dean touched him, going back to pathetically crying when Dean refused to let go. Cas was nearby now and even though he didn't know what was wrong with him, he hovered near by in case Dean needed him for something. Dean sighed though when nothing else was working and decided he was going to end this if Sam didn't calm the fuck down and explain what the hell was going on.

"Come on Sam I'm your brother and you know you could tell me anything, right? If you can't then I want to know why!"

Sam whined pathetically and clung on the pillow, his back to the headboard but he could tell Sam wanted to tell him. Sighing, he held out his hand but didn't touch him to let him know that he wouldn't let anything happen to him that he didn't want to happen. He was going to give him that much control.

"I saw the old lady killing children," Sam whispered and whimpered, putting the pillow over his head. Dean sat there stunned and couldn't get anything out for several seconds but when he did he was angry.

"So you just saw or you had a vision and don't bull shit me Sam because the only time you had those was with yellow eyes or when you were with Ruby, am I right? I don't feel sorry for you!"

Sam refused to correct him and Dean left the motel. He knew the angel wasn't far behind because he was mad that he could even think Sam would do that. Sam didn't want to correct them though because they'd stay longer and try to get him away when he couldn't. He didn't want to see how his brother looked after after mom's death. He didn't want to witness Dean shut down and not talk. He whimpered pathetically realizing that he was seeing all these people's deep dark secrets which weren't actually visions at all. And it all started when he thought he was getting better too.

He fell into a hazy nightmare filled sleep with old ladies that slit the eyes out of kids and rapists who tore their victim's up before dropping them in the street. When he woke up again, he was shaking and he knew sadly that this was only the beginning of his curse for being with Cas in any way when he knew the angel was so in love with his brother.

How could anyone love him now?


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Three

Sam awoke the next morning sharply at six and saw Dean's head poking out of his comforter. Cas had his arms encircling the elder Winchester and Sam pulled out of his own covers before sneaking outside or he would have if it hadn't been for a rustle of wings and Cas was now blocking his way. Sam didn't want the man to be near him for some reason and Cas looked at him suspiciously for a moment.

"Dean was worried about you all night. You aren't drinking that filthy demon whore's blood are you?"

Sam quickly shook his head, stepping back until his back was to the wall. He didn't want Cas touching him because he was afraid what would happen next. When Cas put a hand on his arm, he freaked but found to his surprise that nothing happened. He looked at him in shock and Cas sighed before removing himself from the younger Winchester.

"You keep out of trouble and stop causing it everywhere you go-"

"I wasn't-" Sam tried but Cas put a finger over his lips, effectively shushing him.

"I know you don't try but don't do anything I wouldn't." he looked over and noticed Dean was snoring before adding in a whisper, "I love him and I would appreciate if you didn't mention our little agreement. The two months' worth of fun was great while it lasted but I love your older brother and he's happy."

Sam nodded.

Cas pulled away and Sam quickly made his way for the door once again. He felt bad for Cas because he had to deal with the secret he was keeping from his boyfriend even though it hadn't been his fault. Sam caused this and he was going to end it. He wouldn't say anything and after some time, he felt he didn't even deserve to be in their presence anymore either.

* * *

The vomiting and nausea finally eased around the first week of December and Sam finally felt relief. It didn't change the fact though how Dean wasn't as close as he had been and now that he was back with Cas, he really didn't pay any attention to him at all.

He woke up early one morning in fact to hear romping under the covers where his brother was supposedly sleeping and finally had enough of that. He couldn't sleep anyways because of a nasty case of indigestion and told himself he'd risk the cold December air rather than the wrath of his brother if and when he finally noticed what he was doing.

He ended up sitting in the car.

He groaned as he pulled his jacket closer to his frame and fought back sleep. Sleeping in the car would be bad and he didn't want his brother yelling at him for catching hypothermia of all things when he was out here to avoid all that. After a few minutes he didn't care anyways. As his teeth chattered, he sometimes wondered why he even left college if this was what it would lead to. He was happy then and he knew that whilst he wasn't happy with the separation of his family, he hadn't had to worry about the demons or demon blood. He didn't have to worry about crushing on an angel that was with his brother either.

He was surprised when the door opened and Ruby was there with a smirk on her face. He almost forgot that she was trying to locate Lilith and had to blink back the haze until he saw her frowning. She didn't look happy but then again, she was the reason he survived his brother being in hell the four months he had been alone as well.

"What do you want Ruby?" he asked.

She smiled again.

"I thought that the bugger cared enough about you so why are you up so early in the morning about to freeze your ass off in your brother's car?"

Sam laughed.

He wasn't going to tell her everything though. He shook his head and leaned back as though he was going to close his eyes. He told himself he was only going to rest for a moment. He hadn't expected Ruby to slap him and when she did, she looked a tad bit mad. Sighing, she got out of the car and into the frigid cold reminding Sam that Michigan weather in December was really chilly before she came onto his side and pulled him out.

"Come on, my car is warm and you can even sleep in it while we wait for you to talk about what the hell is going on," she said finally.

Sam didn't fight her as she led him to her car parked at the side of the building and even though she had the heater on, she also laid out a blanket over him. Smiling, he thanked her before he drifted off. He didn't have to worry about freezing his ass off anymore as he slept anyhow but now he was going to have to live with his big brother complaining about him being with Ruby.

Why couldn't he ever win?

* * *

Sam had thanked her but told her very little since he didn't want her to know the issue of him getting fucked by an angel who also happened to be fucking his brother. She was all smiles though and left as soon as he was out of the car. It was still cold but he told himself that it wasn't as cold now that he got more than four hours of sleep and was sure that it was past eleven now.

He let himself in the motel room and saw that Dean was still sleeping. He knew that Dean would hate him for this if he ever found out but Sam knew there was something more going on and he didn't want to risk him finding out before Sam knew himself. So he told himself he was going to pay his big brother back before he grabbed some bills and snuck back outside. The angel was nowhere in sight and even if he was, there was just some things that the angel didn't want anyone to know.

Sam was glad that he had taken the bus until he found himself suffering from the same thing he had a few weeks ago. He couldn't explain it but it was freaking annoying and he didn't like it one bit. He hurriedly got out of the bus and even then, he thought it wasn't soon enough. He knew how many people on the bus murdered, killed, and accidentally killed other innocent people. It was like he was reading their inner darkness of their hearts.

He let it go and quickly made his way into the clinic, walking up to the front desk all the while hoping that it was worth it. This was getting quite annoying and he couldn't risk another panic attack in front of his brother and the angel especially when he hadn't been drinking demon blood for quite a while. He was just lucky when the receptionist told him that he was able to be seen and all he had to do was wait for his appointment time in twenty minutes.

He filled out the given paperwork then, happy that it was at least the same day and not too far in the day that he would risk having to call his brother with what was going on. He handed the sheet back and before he could even sit down, the nurse was getting his vital signs and remarking how normal they were. He guessed that must have meant that she didn't think he was sick. He sat in the waiting room for ten more minutes while waiting for the treatment room to free up.

Whilst waiting, he saw a young man that looked pregnant, maybe in his last trimester. He didn't look upset about it at all though and was holding hands with another young man who was wearing a suit and looked like he had been at work previously. Sam continued to silently watch the couple and realized that they were happy because they planned it. They were happy to become parents and were more than likely married. Sam was brought out of his observations by the nurse calling the fake name he put down and quickly followed her into the room.

He needed to hurry up or his brother was going to be pissed. The doctor was a rather eloquent female who seemed to be understanding and nice as Sam explained the symptoms for the past month and a half and left out anything that led to him having panic attacks. He did however mention the indigestion and the doctor nodded.

"Did you take any pregnancy tests?" she asked curiously.

Sam nodded.

When he explained that they were all negative, she frowned but told him to lift his shirt up and lower his pants a little. Sam was confused but listened as she got out a bottle of gel and placed it on his lower abdomen. He hissed at the cold gel came into contact with his skin and she apologized before putting an instrument looking thing over it. Sam looked up in confusion before the room was filled with a whooshing sound. The doctor smiled before turning the screen over and Sam looked if anything more terrified than before.

"This is your baby," the doctor told him. "You look to be 12+3 today and if that is right, you are in your third month of pregnancy-"

Sam blamed the fact that he was going through way too much right now. First he had to choke back a shocked gasp, not wanting to make the doctor concerned. It wasn't like he cared about her anyways but he didn't want anyone to know. How did he become pregnant if all the tests came back negative? He looked back at the screen hesitantly and after seeing the wiggling form that he was told was going to be his baby, he found his eyes rolling back and falling back before he could even help himself.

* * *

Three months.

Sam was three months pregnant and even though he had the proof now which was basically a photo of the little one, he still had to remind himself that it had to be unlikely. He bought another pregnancy test as soon as he left the clinic and got his vitamins in order to test his theory. He took a deep breath as shaky fingers ripped the box open and removed the thing from it. He shakily held up the test after waiting three minutes and sighed when it still showed up negative. The other test showed up uncertain but the third showed up negative as well.

It must have been the angel thing, he surmised. It would be the only way that the baby would be hidden this long and he himself admitted that he probably should have went earlier. It didn't matter much because there was no way he would be able to care for it. Not in this life. Not when he hunted down monsters and got hurt constantly and not when the father that had a hand in making this all possible was going to hate him.

He couldn't just off the thing though because it was a little human growing inside him. The baby's heart was already beating and if they had any chance at all of living, he was definitely going to give it a try. He quickly got some food at the diner and returned to the motel room hoping that Dean wouldn't be so suspicious.

"You could have just called and told us you were going," Dean told him but didn't seem angered by the fact that he basically had no recollection of where Sam had been all those hours. He didn't even ask and Sam found himself breathe easier until Dean spoke up again. "I saw the condom in the trash Sam so if you have some kind of kink going on, make sure that you don't catch anything. I don't even want to think of what could happen. You could get pregnant for god's sake-"

Sam kept himself from spluttering and Cas himself shook his head.

"Won't be easy Dean especially with the demon blood running through his veins. It would take a," he paused when Dean looked his way and used one of the phrases the older Winchester taught him to his great amusement. "bloody miracle."

Sam clamped his mouth shut to avoid spitting out that it was a little too late to think about miracles since he had one right in his stomach. Instead he grabbed his roast beef sandwich and was happy he had special sauce put on it since it made the sandwich so much better in his opinion. He was busy chewing it down, surfing the internet for a possible job when he noticed Dean looking at him with a frown.

"What? I'm not doing anything wrong-"

"Just wondered why you would like to hide things nowadays. I mean we never used to keep things from each other before."

Sam shrugged.

"Things change and people grow. Sometimes it's not even for the right reason but since I apparently learnt mine, we can go on and not keep any other secrets from each other." By that he meant anything but the baby.

Dean finally nodded.

"Alright but I find you keeping a secret and I'm kicking your ass. Hey Cas what was it about the case in Del Rio, New Mexico again? Something about women having half angel children in four months' time and then disappearing two months after their birth right?"

Cas nodded much to Sam's chagrin.

"It's not like you think Dean. They are children without a soul because the chance of an angel scoring a baby and having a kid with one is pretty low though. They are usually miscarried or born at four months as well because the human body can't handle a nephilim."

Sam arched his eyebrow but otherwise kept quiet. There was always that one little hint of doubt and if he gave birth to a baby without a soul like Cas was talking about, it didn't mean anything. He would love it like he would any other child and if they happened to die, he kept telling himself that he was giving the baby a chance. A chance that they probably wouldn't have had if someone else found out that the thing they were carrying would most likely die. He released the breath he didn't realize he was holding and gulped down sugary iced tea, wondering where he suddenly had the craving for something sweet. He paused when Dean and Cas were both looking at him and set it down.

No need to let them get suspicious already.

"So we agree that the kids were born over a four months' period but that doesn't explain one thing. What the hell did the stomach look like at three months, or two for that matter?" Dean wasn't very good at being discreet and Sam was happy about that. He took another sip, slowing down so that they didn't realize that his body was craving this stuff like it usually craved water.

"At three months they'd be showing already," Cas explained. "They have some powers that they are able to cause outside the womb as well. Mainly though it is catastrophic and the mother doesn't even know it is her baby causing it."

"What kind of things?" Sam didn't realize that the things he was able to do recently could be caused by the little tyke growing inside. He did realize though that he must have been given the ability to have visions temporarily because of that though and the reading into a person's heart and finding out their innermost dark secret. He winced realizing he hadn't wished that on anybody.

"Mostly telepathy or maybe telekinesis. No big deals really but the fact that normal everyday people are getting abilities isn't good. We can't find them either because the baby hides them well."

Sam nodded whilst Dean snorted, leaning back and allowing Cas to rub his aching back and Sam forced himself to swallow back a retort to that. They were not so buddy buddy before that and just the simple gesture wanted to make him throw up all the more. He kept it at bay though and allowed himself a smile despite wanting to do the opposite and hit something.

"So a half angel baby with a soul would be more powerful I take it," Dean said getting a nod out of Cas.

"Yeah, but hardly anyone could even begin to think how one comes about. Most of my divine brothers seem to think that the only way would be to take a virgin and bed them. As long as they are willing but there is always some lie and no one would know how pure a person really is-"

"You mean full virgin as in never even had sex with a girl?" Dean laughed out loud and Sam found himself smiling at that. He could at least say he hadn't been a virgin that way before he had let Cas use him. He subconsciously thought of what a baby would mean even if the baby were to come at the normal forty weeks instead of four months. Would he be able to actually love the child?

"No, there's very few of those but then there's the ones that experiment in school and decide that doesn't count-"

Dean laughed again, slapping his knee and winced when he pulled a muscle in his back. Cas continued to massage at the knots easing the pain for Dean and making it better for him to move around without feeling all that pain.

"I can't believe we haven't laughed this much in a long time," Dean said making Sam frown. "But the fact that someone would not count experimenting days just because they were testing the waters seems like a lot of crock. I mean if someone is gonna dish out or take a dick in their ass than they most certainly aren't a virgin. Hey Sammy, that reminds me. You didn't experiment in college huh? I quite remember you saying no when I curiously asked-"

Sam quickly hid his face, turning bright red in the process. Dean didn't have to act like a jerk but seeing Cas's surprised look, he quickly shot back, "Of course I did but do I ever tell you everything I do? No I don't so leave me alone!"

Sam jumped from his chair and ran into the bathroom slamming the door behind him. He hated lying but what good would it do to let them know he was going to be having a baby? And for that matter he was pretty sure that the baby was made the first time when the condom actually broke since he couldn't remember another time that that had happened. He hadn't planned on it either which only proved to make him all the more miserable.

He couldn't continue doing this but he wasn't going to kill the baby or tell the others and ask for help.

He just couldn't bare them knowing even if it tore him up inside.


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter four

It was so very stupid, asking the relatives of the women how someone could give birth to perfectly healthy babies after four months' time especially when they knew what was going on already. Sam in particular decided instead to ask different questions, seeing if any of them had been male and if they had been in a consensual relationship before then. He even asked if they remembered them talking about whoever they were with or if they knew the father of the child.

Sam found that they all told him pretty much the same things and that was Mike's bar. Sam rolled his eyes when Dean went on and on about operation find the man before holding his stomach at the sudden bout of nausea. He threw up in the sink seeing as how it was better than the floor and quickly turned the water on when he saw Dean turn around. He didn't want him to see the speck of blood and freak out like he was already going to do about the vomiting.

"Dude you okay, you look a little pale and sweaty," Dean added looking majorly concerned and not bothering to hide it.

Sam nodded quickly, trying to moisten his mouth. It felt like stuffed cotton and his throat sort of hurt. It wasn't fun but he told himself he was going to live. Pregnancy certainly wasn't all they made it to be though.

"I'm okay, I am. I just-I swallowed something wrong and it went down the wrong pipe," he lied lamely but since they had been watching him drink something recently they really couldn't say anything against that.

"Well okay but if you vomit again you can sit this one out," Dean finally told him before turning back to Cas. "You said that these women were healthy right after the delivery right? What if there was a complication and they just don't want to admit it to anyone in case they were to lose money because of it?"

"Because they are the soulless nephilims. They don't have any complications like a nephilim with a soul. Even if someone didn't get an abortion and carried the baby a full ten months, they would be in bad shape by the end because it leaves huge damage on the body," Cas explained with a sigh. "I would never do that and I'm glad it's not easy to get someone pregnant that way. It is really bloody and messy and I wouldn't wish that on my enemy."

"So let me get this straight, if you have a soul you end up killing your parent if you are born normally? And if you lack one, you don't have any risks for your parent because you are born early and you lack basically everything? Man I knew that having a soul sucked but if having a soul killed my mom, I wouldn't want it."

Sam frowned at that.

"But if the baby is alive and well wouldn't that matter? I mean I would rather want the baby to be alive and well instead of premature and sick-"

"Yeah and that's why you shouldn't be trusted to carry a baby Sam because then you would let that fly right out the window when it really does come to either you or the baby!" Dean realized what he had said afterwards and stammered. "I didn't mean it Sammy, oh God I didn't but you just keep annoying me for some reason or another-"

"Maybe you're knocked up," Sam told him quietly. "Either way if I don't have to hear you two when I'm trying to sleep it'll be too soon."

He paused seeing Cas's frown and knowing he was mad that he was making Dean upset. He sighed and closed his eyes hoping that he would gather enough strength for patience. He would be fine and nothing would happen if he didn't want it too. He had been willing from the start anyways and if anything this was all Sam's fault so he couldn't blame Dean, he couldn't. So instead, he took a steadying breath to calm himself down before quickly apologizing to Dean.

Dean nodded and apologized as well.

"Now that that is over with how in the world are we going to get into Mike's bar "lying" like you two usually do and find out how in the world these women disappeared?" Cas asked heavily.

"I know some of the relatives lied," Sam quickly replied. Dean and Cas once again looked in confusion and Sam rolled his eyes. "Mike's bar is an anomaly. We have to find the person that is doing that to the girls we might be able to find out what happened to them. But first we need bait. We could use them to lure him anywhere."

"And the thing you had in mind was?" Cas asked curiously.

"Easy I go to the bar and make myself look the type he's after. He won't know anything about me and it'll get me as a target and I could definitely lead him to wherever the place might be. It's easy," he added seeing as how both of the eyes staring back at him were disbelieving.

"No," Dean said after a moment. "No Sammy we aren't going to use you to get this sicko. We're going to-we're going to make sure we take care of this all together."

Sam looked at him. Really looked at him and he knew that Dean may be covering it up but he knew his brother and he was worried. Like he was worried that he could even get pregnant since Cas oh so basically said that Sam wouldn't be able to and it took a special person to help out with that. Something about most demons being sterile anyways. Maybe Azazel was a very sterile demon, he thought depressingly. Whatever it was didn't work because Sam was currently three months pregnant with a baby anyways. Not like he would blurt it out though. Instead he finally nodded and Dean clapped his hands in anticipation.

"We all go there and separately ask questions so we aren't caught okay? And nobody leaves with any strange people, alright?"

Sam nodded and saw that Cas was looking at him oddly. Sam would have said something but Cas rubbed whatever it was from his chin, making Sam jump unexpectedly at the simple yet soft touch. It made him remember all the times that Cas had been rough with him and yet at the same time Sam knew he cared under the surface, much like Dean. He hadn't thought about that yet but could the reason he like Cas so much was because he was similar to him? He hoped not, god he hoped not but that didn't explain why he was so surprised by the gentle gestures.

"You had some blood on your lip," he said with a hint of concern in his voice although he would deny it if Sam asked.

"I accidentally bit the inside of my lip," Sam lied through his teeth and knew that Cas didn't buy it but Dean clapped Sam's shoulder and tried to explain what would be happening with they went. Cas's eyes still were searing holes down Sam's back and even though Sam flinched a little under the silent scrutiny, he did nothing else. Instead he pushed Dean off and went into the bathroom, closing it and putting the lock in place before starting the shower. Once he heard the knock on the door, Sam let out a relieved sigh.

"Bitch save some hot water," Dean's voice sounded through the water.

Sam threw up most of his lunch right then and there and looking down, he saw some little droplets of blood and wiped his chin clean. He wasn't going to die if he carried this kid thirty seven weeks he told himself. Full term and no longer in any danger of anything that could hurt him or her. Sam gazed down at his still flat belly and knew that even though it most likely had a soul now didn't mean it wouldn't be lost to him.

He quickly stripped and got into the shower. He only took five minutes tops then got back out, towel drying himself off. He turned sideways and glanced into the mirror. His stomach wasn't showing anything yet but his rock hard stomach wasn't hard like it usually was. Now it was soft and he had no doubt that his baby was growing in that location now.

Pulling the shirt over his head, he ignored the voice telling him that he was going to start showing. He was going to start showing and they were eventually going to find out if a hunt didn't do him in and kill them both. He couldn't have that and the more he thought about it the more he realized. If they thought he was pregnant before now, they were going to eventually put two and two together. Saying it was another person's baby wouldn't work because he had the same problem as before. He was officially going to become his dad if he were to do that.

Angrily brushing his teeth, he paused when he realized just what he unexpectedly caused. This wasn't just some temporarily thing because having a baby was for life and he couldn't stand the struggles that he had come to know with his brother basically replacing dad as the father figure in his life and Sam knew he was not anywhere ready to face fatherhood just yet. He wouldn't be able to raise the baby but that didn't mean he didn't already love it like crazy. He loved the baby even though he didn't even know what it was yet and if he did choose to adopt him or her at the end, he would be doing it so that the baby would have a better life than the one Sam grew up into.

The baby wouldn't turn into him nor would it turn into Dean either, not when he had that choice.

* * *

At Mike's bar Sam ignored Cas as best he could. The angel hovered nearby and he had half the urge to tell him to go bother Dean or something of that nature. Instead he continued to talk to one of the people that had been a long going customer. He smiled hearing some of the stories whilst trying to shut the angel out. Fortunately, it started to work when the other man laughed, showing his pearly whites at something that Sam couldn't remember whom he had heard it from. It was always the classical things that got people really.

"I'm Jeff," he greeted holding out his arm.

Sam smiled serenely and stuck out his own hand.

"Andrew," He replied knowing that he was still undercover and that he couldn't just trust the stranger right away.

"Well Andy it looks like I'm in for a real treat tonight. I never met someone as cute as you. You're glowing." Sam wanted to groan but kept quiet seeing as how he hadn't even told Cas yet and this stranger definitely wasn't going to know anything about the baby. It would be cruel and he wasn't for that.

"Thanks I think," Sam said instead with a dimpled smile. Jeff was about to say something else when the sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind Sam. Cas was standing there frowning and Sam would have felt sorry for him any other time but now he was just plain annoyed. Couldn't he leave them alone now that he got what he wanted? He had wanted Dean and he got him so Sam should be free to do whatever he wanted.

"We need to talk."

Jeff who didn't get the tension suddenly coming on in the area, raised an eyebrow. Sam rolled his eyes and tried to go back to speaking with him when Cas yanked on his arm. Sam looked over in surprise that Cas would do this but didn't say anything as the angel glared.

"I think you should calm down buddy," Jeff warned cutting in. "He's his own person and he could choose whoever he wants to be with. Besides you don't even look his type-"

"I think you may be the one out of the loop for I know 'Andy' more than you do and this is none of your business!" Sam groaned and quickly placed a kiss on Jeff's mouth before giving him a small dimpled smile.

"Wait for me, I'm just going to tell him to go back to his boyfriend," Sam told him.

Jeff nodded now totally at ease while Sam allowed Cas to drag him towards the back. He wondered why Cas was being defiant and mean. He just hadn't always been like this and he hoped Dean was behaving himself. The only time the angel was this frustrated and angry was when Dean was breaking up with him or ogling some other person. He found himself pulled into the alley way before he twisted his arm away from Cas and started to grill him about his behavior.

"What did you want to speak about with me Cas? Come on, Dean is probably waiting for you and you can talk to me about issues but you can't-" He was cut off when a pair of lips brushed over his, leaving his eyes to become wide with shock. Cas was kissing him! He almost responded until his brain caught up with him and he realized what that action would cause. He pushed him off and saw Cas didn't even look sorry about it.

Breathing heavily Sam asked shakily, "What the fuck Cas? You have Dean so what the hell is your problem-"

"My problem is you," Cas quickly snapped. Sam fell silent and watched how Cas seemed to be more than a little mad now. He realized he had just made him this way and couldn't think of anything he had even done to set him off. It was true though. He couldn't just act like he owned Sam because he wasn't with him. He was brought out of his thoughts by Cas patting his cheek to get his attention. "I don't know what you did to me Sam but you did something and I want to know what it was!"

Sam looked confused now only succeeding in heightening Cas's anger, frustration, and everything else he had only felt a little before with Dean. He couldn't believe that he was feeling a mass amount more with Sam than he ever had anyone else. This was the accursed boy with the demon blood. He couldn't ever give any wise angel children nor could he really be destined for anything good. Ruby was using him for her own little games and he didn't want to think about this anymore. Instead he slapped Sam across the cheek, letting everything sink in.

"What did you do to me Sam? Why do I feel so much for you when I should for Dean! It's not fair and I wasn't supposed to feel this for you," he cut himself off by pushing himself into a shocked Sam and pulling him up against the wall, kissing him roughly. Sam tried to get Cas away. He didn't want this and he knew that Cas wasn't even thinking right. He had to be having issues tonight because even when he was letting Cas into his bed, Cas never tried to hurt him like this. Not like this and Sam couldn't stand it.

"Let me go Cas, let me go!" He flailed his arms trying to dislodge himself away , but Cas ignored him. He latched onto Sam's pulse point and started sucking there as Sam tried to fight against him. He halted suddenly when Sam began to cry and suddenly realized what he was doing, he released him gently.

"Sam are you okay?" Cas tried to put a soothing hand on his shoulder but Sam flinched away with tears still in his eyes. Cas sighed and wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. He couldn't think then because what he could have done was a lot worse than what he was doing now. "I'm sorry Sam, I'm so so sorry. I didn't even mean to do that and you know I normally wouldn't. I don't know what came over me-"

"Let's just find Dean Cas, please can we just find him and get out of here," Sam mumbled and Cas hesitantly brought him forward for a hug, feeling even more guilty when he felt the shudder run through the other body.

"We can Sam. Let's go get Dean and then we could go home."

Reassured or not, he hoped that Sam didn't tell Dean anything. He didn't want to lose either of the brothers' friendship and this was something that Dean would kill anyone for let alone the fact that they even thought about touching his younger brother.


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy. There is mild to moderate violence in this chapter.

* * *

Chapter Five

Finding Dean didn't take too long, he was hustling some fellow pool players and Sam had to blush a little when he spotted Jeff amongst them. He seemed to frown when he noticed the dried tear tracks down Sam's cheeks and seemed to frown even more when Cas placed a protective arm around Sam. The younger hunter just didn't get it. Even though he knew he hadn't meant it, why would he go through all this? He didn't like him like that and he paused as he felt the world tilt a little.

"You okay?" Sam just nodded, seeing as how Cas was trying to find any tall tale sign to help fix the mess he had caused. He hated seeing Sam cry. He couldn't find out why but maybe it was because he hardly ever seemed to do it. He saw him laughing with Dean and he always had the signature dimpled smile. He could only wonder why he was coming to care for Sam so much more than he had anticipated.

He turned to get Dean's attention, leaving his side for a moment and Sam worried he would be back to being angry. Whatever it was, he knew Cas hadn't meant it. He felt the intent when he brushed his lips against him and it hadn't belonged to the angel. He was just happy that he was able to stop him before it led to something they would come to regret.

Dean barreled through and checked Sam over despite repeated confirmation that he was fine. Jeff was there before they knew it and Sam just wanted to forget ever talking to the man. He was nice and everything but Sam didn't want to ever come back here. He wanted to go to sleep if anything else and sleep the rest of whatever he was feeling now away.

"Hey I couldn't help but think that you guys were wanting to know about something. You're not detectives are you?" He sounded worried and when Sam glanced over to Dean, he could see his mind working fast. Way too fast in fact and he noticed that Cas still had a grip on his arm. He couldn't help but feel himself feel safe with it there seeing as how Jeff suddenly seemed to overwhelm him. He gulped back the need to vomit and moved back a little letting his big brother be protective just this once, he told himself.

"I'm Agent Nick Brody and that's Agent Andy Zelman. We're truly sorry but there's been some cases of missing women. We really needed to go undercover to reveal the culprit-"

"That's excellent," Jeff suddenly seemed depressed. "I hit on an agent and never even realized it. That's just great and I couldn't even help it because he's really cute. You think you could forgive me for doing that?"

Sam quickly nodded.

"Of course, you're forgiven. Anyways we were just leaving."

"NO! Wait don't go. I was about to show you something." Dean nodded and waited for him to get to it when he was clocked in the face all of a sudden. He cursed as blood started flowing freely down his nose and it only took a little hesitation before Jeff slapped his hand down on a symbol that sent Cas away before he could even do anything. Sam's eyes widened dramatically but found himself restrained from behind. It wasn't really a pretty sight for either of them and with Cas nowhere nearby, he couldn't see anything going right for them.

"You think you could just walk into a suspicious joint and not think twice that we wouldn't notice you got an angel with you?" Jeff asked grabbing Sam's face. "Such a pretty face too, it's such a shame we'll have to mar it." He laughed when another of his men joined to help restrain Dean who was thrashing around and ignoring the trail of blood on his shirt.

"What gave it away?" Sam asked with a little hitch caught in his breath. "What did it take for you to realize who we were?"

Jeff pulled Sam into a bruising kiss that made Sam see stars and Dean start cursing at the abuse. It didn't stop Jeff from pushing his tongue in loving the feeling. Sam bit down and Jeff recoiled in anger by slapping him. He spit out the blood that was pooling around his lips and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He cursed as blood continued to collect from around the wound. He glared at Sam who didn't seem too sorry yet.

"You'll pay for that. If you hadn't done that then that kiss would have been the most of your worries. Now I won't hesitate at all."

Sam was already seeing stars from the unbelievable amount of strength behind the blow when he was pulled by the back of the hair and forced forward. He felt blood in his mouth and instantly tried to fight his grip but Jeff held on, massaging his tongue with his own bloody one. Dean could only watch in silent horror as the monster started to molest his baby brother. After a moment he withdrew though and turned to one of the muscle man in his little group.

"We need to change this up. People don't mess with us because we tend to bribe our way through but the cops that come around might and it'll get ugly."

As the others nodded towards their boss and went to do as he asked no questions second guessed, Sam found himself swimming in tears. He shouldn't have trusted him, he now realized. This was why he never did and now they were going to hurt him and possibly Dean. What good was he even?

He was about to accept defeat when a shout caused him to lift his head and stare right at Dean's defiant moss green eyes. They were determined and looking right back into his blue green orbs as though trying to relay a message and plead to him.

"Sam you are my brother and I love you but if you give up now I will be really mad. You gotta believe that we'll get out of this okay? Don't give up Sam, not when there is still faith alright? Come on say it with me younger brother. You aren't going to give up on me okay? I won't ever give up on you no matter how much of a pain in the ass you are and you have to believe the same. In fact you better believe it!"

"Okay Dean," he told him a little more quietly but his eyes did shone with newfound faith in his brother. His older brother always got him out of these situations. He would now because he was Dean and he was only Dean's younger brother. He could do it.

He had faith.

* * *

Sam never questioned faith.

He was a big believer in God and even though Dean had never once said anything for or against religion, Sam felt it in himself to pray. He prayed for a mother he hadn't known and hoped she was safe up there in heaven. He prayed for a father that went from reading him bedtime stories and giving him good night kisses to becoming a cold and hard man. He prayed for his brother and that he would find the happiness that he needed in his life. He prayed for a bunch of people that he never even knew and to a man he never even seen but had faith existed. That was something about faith though. He believed that even though his dad always ordered him around, he couldn't force him how to organize things nor could he force religion out of his head. He had prayed for everyone though and everything, even for the puppy his father hadn't let him keep when he was six years old and just wanted to have something to take care of himself.

Now he prayed for his baby. He prayed that the baby was fine and that this whole event wouldn't cause him to lose the baby. He wanted the baby, he never even thought it was possible to love anything else other than Dean and beyond the crush he had carried in his heart for Cas. Now though, he found himself whimpering from the chafing of his wrist that were held up with rope extending from one of the trees.

Apparently Jeff's biggest plan was to hang them from trees whilst he found what he wanted to do with them. He could still stand though, not that the branches above them had been high. The fucking material was also causing his wrists to go numb and he could see Dean wince every time he tried to move them. It wasn't the perfect situation to be in and seeing as how this courtyard was absolutely deserted, he knew it wouldn't do good not to have a plan B.

"Didn't anybody teach you not to talk to strangers Sammy?" Sam quickly squeezed his eyes shut as his wrists were gripped tightly and had to bite his lip to keep from whimpering. Beside him Dean was once again in big brother protection mode and Sam could only hope that he wasn't going to say anything that would make the others mad.

"Get away from my brother you freak!" Jeff turned to Dean and his eyes flashed black making Sam gasp and Dean look over in shock. "You have been killing these women haven't you? What would you get from killing the women?"

Jeff laughed as his eyes returned to normal. He laughed, patting Dean's cheek a couple of times before he punched him causing Dean's head to swivel to his side and Sam screamed. Jeff turned back to him with a mocking sorrowful expression.

"I'm sorry Sammy I forgot that you love to have all the attention. You are such an attention whore. Of course you had to somehow prevent me from my plans as well since my whole idea of banging you was to actually get it right this time." Sam's blood turned to ice at that thought alone and Dean's breath hitched.

"What the hell was that? Why would Sam be the key to getting it right? In case you forget he's not going to have your child because he doesn't nor will he ever like you!"

Jeff sighed before kicking Dean's foot causing the older hunter to wince when the rope pulled at his wrists which were white hot with pain. Sam winced since the other's movement caused tingling in his over abused wrists and he fought to keep himself from keeling over. He had to keep faith in his brother and not break down or give up just like he had said.

"You're pathetic. I'm a demon and he has demon blood in him so why not fuck him and give him a child. He's cute too so that helps and nobody would ever notice that the kid is any part demon. I could get so much more done that way. Oh and thanks to the nephilim kids we were able to hide our identity from the angel until we could get to ya. Pretty cool though that it took power that nephilims left behind in their mother's wombs to actually get a sample of it. Babies couldn't be touched by us or we would've been foolishly dead already."

He traced his finger over Sam's cheek and lingered on his lips, pulling his head forward and causing the ropes to tighten over his wrists. Sam flinched and couldn't stop the sob from coming out when it started to really hurt. Jeff just laughed at the way Sam was mildly fighting now that he was restrained and then turned to one of the others which Dean also assumed were demons.

"Cut him down." He stooped over Sam with a smile before he went over him, pushing the younger Winchester on his back. Sam wanted to scream, kick, and push the guy off but he did neither as Jeff applied pressure to his wrists. "I was going to take it easy on you ya know? I thought why not let the Winchester have an angel baby but you didn't willingly accept that gift, I could tell by the way you had been crying that you somehow stopped the cursed thing from taking you so I decided I'll be doing it instead. Maybe the baby will be the next new leader and he will be the king of this planet when he grows up-"

He stopped himself when he felt someone's presence and knew with a smile on his face who it was. Damien was his most loyal servant and after gripping Sam's face to prevent escape, he pushed a kiss to his mouth, all the while nibbling gently on his lips. Sam looked like he couldn't believe this was happening but Jeff was preventing him from doing anything. He was sitting on his hip and holding his pained wrists hurting from all that lack of blood flow. He assumed that the Winchester's hands must be feeling like pins and needles right about now and laughed when he saw just how painful this was for the young hunter.

"Damien you have been my most loyalist yet. I have a little award," Sam's eyes went wide and Dean cursed hoping that they weren't doing what he thought with his little brother. They couldn't do anything, they just couldn't.

"Hey you assholes. Don't pick on him you damned fools. You want someone to pick on, fight someone who could take it and I don't think my brother's quite able to do that right now." He saw Sam's scared face and told himself that he was doing this for his baby brother, the one he had been meant to protect ever since he was six months old. He hadn't been doing a good job lately and he wished that he could have, he was at fault for all that had happened this night and he felt awful. Only after something like this could come to be because of it.

He was punched in the face again and it didn't stop there. Jeff seemed to be trying his hardest to hurt him this time. He felt a blow to his stomach and cried out before he could stop himself causing Sam to cry out. He almost forgot that Sam could see everything going on. He quickly shared a look with Sam's terrified eyes, trying to relay that he was okay and that he wasn't going anywhere. He had to show him that so that Sam wouldn't freak. How else could he do that but hide his pain?

"I'm okay Sam. I'm not hurt and you better believe that. You are okay too and we are going to get out of here and I'm going to help fix you up and make you feel better okay. I won't let anything happen to you and that's a promise-" The wind was knocked out of him as the demon resumed using him as a punching bag and before Sam could scream for them to stop, Damien sealed his mouth with his hand, looking over towards Jeff to see if everything would be going according to plan.

"Do it!" Jeff ordered and without another hesitation, Sam found something big and thick sliding down his open mouth. Before he could fight or any type of flight mechanism, Damien pinched his ear tightly making him shudder.

"You even think of biting down you little bitch and I'm sure anyone here would like making you one of theirs. So if you know what is good for you, don't you do anything. Just lie there and take it." Sam shuddered but did as he was told, as the strange thickness started sliding in and out of his mouth. He nearly gagged when it was pushed to the back of his throat but with the little reminder seared into his brain, he let his eyes tear up and tried to keep as still as possible.

"What the hell? Sam isn't anyone's bitch!" Dean screamed. "You let him up and tell that douche to put it back in his pants because when I get down here, he's not going to survive for much longer-" He felt the air pounded out of him again. He had ignored the pain when the stupid fucker had shoved his cock down Sam's throat and watched in horror as he begun to thrust expecting Sam to just lay there and take it without a single repercussion. He didn't know about the sex part still but Sam had never even done any blow jobs and had no experience into pleasing anybody in regards to that. "Don't hurt my brother…hurt me instead."

Sam saw Dean lose consciousness and started to struggle just to keep still. He didn't want them hurting him but his brother had took the beating for him. He gagged again and tears started falling from the corner of his eyes causing Damien to hold each side of his head and drive faster. He came into him and pulled out, letting Sam move to his side to prevent himself from choking. He spat the liquid out of his mouth and tried to get to Dean but Jeff stood his ground with a smug smile.

"Who's going to stop me Sam? Huh? You can't expect me to take you seriously with that running down your mouth right?" Sam hurriedly wiped his mouth with his sleeve and only when he reached into his pocket that he realized that the demon blade was missing. Sam tried to push past him to get to Dean but Jeff grabbed him and pulled him into a forceful kiss, holding tightly when Sam tried to fight him.

"You are just so tasty, I wonder if your brother ever thought about having a go at you. I know if I was I would definitely-"

"It won't matter anyways, you are already treading into dangerous territory." Jeff went to look behind him in shock but a flash emitted when Cas's palm connected with the back of his head and the demon was exorcised.

No more.

Sam raced to Dean as Cas began to fight off the demons and sobbed pathetically as he saw how much of a bloody mess his brother absolutely was. He picked up a discarded knife and cut Dean down, letting him down slowly and held him close. He counted at least a couple possible broken ribs, a busted lip, and to make it worse Dean was hardly breathing. He found a hand on his shoulder and Sam flinched but it was only Cas. He gently knelt down and tried to heal Dean only to realize how futile it had been. He frowned realizing something was blocking his healing.

"I'm sorry Sam but we have to get him to a hospital-"

"Heal him, please! I won't, I don't care what happens please heal him! I can't lose him Cas, not again!" Cas could understand the great shock that the Winchester was in. He had witnessed something that nobody should have and probably went through enough tonight. He grabbed Sam's cell phone and handed it to him and Sam reached for it shakily.

After making the call, Cas told himself he was doing the right thing. He was. Heaven needed him first and foremost. Before Dean and even before a distraught Sam. It was the less of all evils anyways. Sam's anguish was causing pains in places Cas didn't even know he could experience pain.

He was already away by the time that the sirens announced the ambulance coming.

He just only had to remind himself that this was for the best.


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Six

The paramedics pried him away from Dean for what seemed like the hundredth time but Sam couldn't help it, he had to know whether he was okay. He drew in a breath and almost lost the ability to breathe when they started to relay to the doctor something about brain damage and not enough oxygen. He wasn't an expert in medicine but he knew enough to know that brain damage could be really bad.

At the hospital one of the doctors again tried to pry him away. Sam held on stubbornly, grabbing onto his brother with all his might. It only served to irritate the team that was working on trying to get Dean prepped for surgery. Once again the young doctor forced himself to calm down all the while trying to get Sam away. He wouldn't budge and there was very little patience for that right now. If his brother didn't get into surgery now, they were worried about the swelling. Sam didn't seem to realize that or he wasn't very aware of what was going on with his brother at the moment. He would have never risked putting his brother in any unnecessary danger after all.

"Sir, if you don't let go your brother could die," one of the nurses told him gently.

That seemed to get him even more irritated though and didn't help the situation. He sobbed when they tried to pry him away once more and almost had it when he held on tightly to the bedrails to keep him from being pulled in their direction. Security more than helped and even had the younger brother onto a completely different gurney with handcuffs securing him there by one wrist and a leather restraint with the other. They didn't expect him to take this simply because of the fact that his brother was now being taken down to the very room they had been trying to get him to for the last fifteen minutes. The younger was was now an obvious mess and was breathing incredibly too hard.

Dr. Bennett sighed and slapped on a non-rebreather but withheld on the oxygen. That wasn't the problem, in fact since his breathing had picked up, he was getting far too much and he felt that the young man didn't need to pass out due to hyperventilation.

"Sir, do you hear me? We are going to need to do an exam and find out if you're okay. Were you beaten at all?" his voice fell on deaf ears when Sam once again started to scream and thrash about. Sighing he turned to the nurse and whispered for her to get a team to hold him down while he took care of the wrists. They looked badly chafed and he knew they would get infected if they didn't do anything about it.

"Doctor, is he going to be okay? I couldn't help but notice that he might seem a lot better if we found a relative-"

"He won't give us a name and the brother may very well be going into a coma. His head injury is really extensive-"

"DEAN!" Sam whined and weakly tried to pull the mask off despite the things restraining his hands back. He fell back panting, sweat drenching his face and a thick trail of white dried crust was on the side of his mouth. Frowning, the nurse went to wipe it clean when Sam's eyes widened. She only did just that though and he calmed, seeing the nastiness for what it was. She smiled sadly and went to wipe the sweat away. He was just glad that someone at least had the forethought to at least care for that. His eyes went wide and he started fighting the restraints again.

"Please! I just want Dean, just Dean. Is he gonna be okay?" He started to show signs of possibly hyperventilating and the nurse sighed just wanting him to know only the positive side of this because she knew he wouldn't like what they would have to tell him.

"Okay, well here's the good thing, he's not dead sweetie. He's still alive and-"

"He's alive?" Sam stopped fighting and looked at her with pleading blue green eyes. They were big, round, and she swore that he was doing it on purpose but she couldn't look away or turn down a look like that.

"He is sweetie, but they need to get the swelling down or he won't be."

Sam nodded silently.

"Now are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?" She asked and Sam looked at her in surprise. "Oh come on sweetie, I need to see to those wrists and I can't do that unless I take those off. I don't want to restrain you anymore either. Can we do that?"

Sam hesitated but finally nodded.

Beaming, the nurse removed them carefully, letting the one cop get his only pair of cuffs back before starting to slowly access it. Sam didn't think that mattered because as long as Dean was fine, he could endure the pain. It was supposed to be him anyways and Dean tried to save him not even knowing how much Sam deserved it. He took Cas from Dean and even though he had the angel back, Cas now was going to have a son or daughter on the way and it was Sam's whole fault. Why had he done that? He wished Dean would've shut up and allowed Sam to get the full punishment. Dean was innocent in this whole affair.

He didn't realize his eyes were closed or that tears were silently rolling down his cheeks until he realized the nurse was done with bandages. He silently hoped that faith would do something and show him that God had not really abandoned him in his time of need. Please let Dean be wrong, Sam prayed silently closing his eyes again. Please. You proved that you were there through the angels even when I hadn't needed proof and now I could only have faith and wait for Dean to get better. Please. I need him and he's the only family that I have left even though I have Bobby since family doesn't end in blood but he's not Dean. Dean is…He paused chewing on his bottom lip. Dean is my whole world and I'd give anything for him to be okay.

He opened his eyes blearily and saw that the nurse had went to speak to the doctor. He felt exhausted now that he had finally felt himself ease out of absolute panic. He never had to see his brother like that-well since Azazel had allowed his brother to get torn to bits and the hell hounds but this seemed worse. The demon fucking tore Dean apart not by physical abuse alone but he made his brother watch while one of the demons-he winced remembering it clear in his mind as it had happened more than an hour ago. Dean had to watch that and on top of that, he got hit with objects and punched by the demon's strong fists. They were very strong when they wanted to be and with the brain swelling coming into light, Sam was very scared that Dean just might not make it. He couldn't do this without Dean. Not again. He sagged against the gurney, hoping they would release him soon and laying still hoping against all odds that Dean wouldn't think to leave him as well.

Please, just be okay Dean. He needed him to be okay.

* * *

"Sam."

Sam saw Cas standing there and knew he very much looked like his world was caving in around him. Sam felt occasional cramps in his stomach but ignored it for the most part when he realized it wasn't going to help Dean right now. After he had been giving some extra bandages and some bacitracin, he was allowed to go into the waiting room waiting on word for his brother. He paced up and down and wouldn't calm down but it turned out that it had been even worse than he originally thought.

Dean was in a coma and had a tube shoved down his throat. He had blunt force trauma to the head and abdomen. He needed a chest tube to drain the blood from his lungs and his vital signs were unstable. Sam couldn't do a single thing for him but watch as the antibiotics continued to help Dean fight against the infection he had already picked up.

Sam couldn't help but believe that underneath all this, he had caused it. He made his brother like this because he was what Jeff had called him. It was true that demons lied a lot but not about this. Never this. Sam was an attention whore, plain and simple. He couldn't help but wonder if Dean would go through all this had Sam simply not been there. He held his head in his hands and felt another fresh wave of tears coming on and hastily wiped them away seeing as he hadn't the right.

"Sam, are you okay? How is Dean?" Cas asked and Sam suddenly realized he had been here the whole time. He felt a tiny jolt within and put it to the fact that he really couldn't believe Cas was still talking to him.

"I'm fine," Sam said quietly after a moment's hesitation. "Dean is in a coma though. They're sure he's not going to wake up…"

He bit his bottom lip to keep the sob in and Cas didn't ask him anymore details. He was still looking over and it took all of Sam's will not to lean against him and start balling. It seemed that Cas had different plans for after a touch to the forehead, they were no longer in the hospital and Sam felt himself wondering if Cas was going to drill it into him how much he screwed up. He had and he found his lip quivering against his will.

Cas did none of those things though. Hell he didn't think that Cas was actually on good turns with him until he was pulled forward into his arms. Cas never hugged him like this and with it came the sudden crashing sense of emotions and he was already overwhelmed with the news of his brother that he couldn't help it. He burst into tears and sobbed into Cas's shoulder like a big blundering baby. Cas just held onto him tightly, rocking him back and forth like he had done so before. He even whispered in his ear that it would be okay.

"Can't Cas," he somehow managed to say between the sobs and the silent tremors racking through his body. "Can't lose him. Can't say good bye. Please Cas. Please."

"It's going to be okay Sam, you'll see. I know he'll be fine and then we could move on from this incident too. Those demons will be taken care of when I find them, I promise. I swear to you Sam that I won't let anything happen to you and I keep my promises."

Sam mumbled a thank you all the while trying to get a hold of his breathing before he went into another sort of panic or anxiety attack. It wouldn't help the situation any if at all. He was so immersed in keeping himself sane that he missed the look on the angel's face. It only would have taken a second, but if Sam were to look, he wouldn't have seen a single ounce of hatred in him. He would have saw a small slipped look of confusion.

For Cas still didn't understand how he felt and being here now didn't solve anything and in turn only deepened every feeling he had.

* * *

"Jeff failed?"

The dark haired demon nodded and the hooded figure sighed with a little shrug. He didn't care much about the mission at hand but apparently their boss had. So the fact that Jeff had failed to nab the Winchester actually made his job all the more harder. Pulling his hoody back, he ran a smooth hand over the scar that covered the whole entire part of his right eye. It was mottled flesh, mostly melted away thanks to a certain Winchester and the fact that it was going to take one to make their boss happy, he felt like he really should pound it out that bitch's ass. How could they fail such an easy mission? They even had the pretty boy tied up and they still couldn't do anything right.

"That he did and get this, they have an angel with them. I can't believe they didn't even notice but apparently Jeff didn't think it would make that much of a difference and told them about the angel residue used to hide us from angels. I know that you might be thinking to bring him back just to kill him again-"

"The younger Winchester is certainly annoying and the plans to bring him to his knees is a little rusty. Ruby has been doing who knows what with him and bringing her here is going to take some time. Springing the devil from the box right now is a moot point at the moment. I'm more worried about the stupid prophecy. Stupid child! Who in the world would want to have a powerful human baby? I don't get it-"

"But doesn't it just mean he's easier to disguise?"

The demon pried the hoody back over his eyes to hide the greatly disfigured part of his face. He knew about that as well. Some demons were overly eager in wanting to get to be the one to mark the younger Winchester with such a child. He had to admit that having a little spawn of his own growing in someone else's body held a certain appeal. He'd just have to remember that after it was all over, he should tear the Winchesters in something good. Of course demon babies only took four months to be born so until then they could keep him around for fun as well.

He cracked a smile at that.

"Jeff also had the older brother placed in a hospital before his demise and some of his loyal followers are now hiding from the angel. You know, Castiel."

He frowned.

Of course that angel had to go and get involved with the Winchesters. He was really naïve and stupid but to those boys it must be a tiny bit of heaven. Glaring at the demon who delivered the last line, he knew that it was going to be even harder than it was before.

How could he pry two nuisances when angel boy was hanging around?

"Get me Thor. I want those brats here on a platter if you have to but make sure I have them as soon as humanely possible."

The race to get them was on because he accepted the challenge.

He only hoped that they could please the boss. He wouldn't want to be just another failed leader that the boss had to dispose of because everything went to pride instead of results and what he did best was lead his hoard of demons.

* * *

Sam leaned forward seeing Dean was unnaturally pale. He couldn't stand the thought of the elder brother this hurt. He felt another quiver in his stomach and knew he was starting to get hungry. He sighed realizing that in all this the baby had been neglected up to now. He honestly knew that a checkup was needed in the future but Dean was here and it looked bad. He couldn't leave him even if it was for that.

He heard the nurses talking and it scared him that they were running tests on the activity in his brain. From what he understood the head nurse was talking about brain damage, oxygen deprivation, and something about possible brain damage. It hadn't looked good from his end and he wished a thousand times more that he could do something about it. He grasped Dean's hand feeling a little light headed and could have sworn that light had passed through his fingertips and directly into Dean's body from the contact alone. He didn't really think about it. Leaning back, he fought to control the urge to vomit and turned in shock when the monitors started going off.

His eyes went huge as the nurses and a couple of doctors raced in, one nurse leading him out before reentering. Sam trembled as a code blue was heard and he gasped when he realized for what it was that his brother wasn't going to make it.

He wanted to scream.

Before he could get a handle on the situation, he was being pulled away from the corridor and he knew he would've fought more but he was lacking some serious energy. Tears sprang from his eyes and he angrily wiped at it all the while hoping that Dean was not dead. Sorry Dean, he thought shaking just at the thought of what that code could have meant. It should have been me in there, not you. He pushed away from the other and vomited violently into the trash can. He didn't even bother to look knowing that there were traces of blood in it but he didn't care. As far as he knew, he deserved it.

"Sam calm down, it's going to be alright-"

"No Cas it's not alright!" Sam interrupted pulling at his hair in frustration and anguish. "I killed him, I killed my own brother and if I just laid there and took it, this wouldn't have been happening to him!"

"That's not true Sam. Dean is your older brother and you could be guzzling demon blood and he would still love you enough to go through that again." Cas tilted his head in confusion seeing that Sam was holding at his head and looking freaked out but worse, he looked pale. He was sweating too and Cas didn't know if he was sick or just overwhelmed. He didn't understand humans and he never did understand Sam. He was a mystery that Cas could never unravel even if he started to get him because then something else happened and the angle changed. "He went to hell for you-"

"It's my fault for that too! How many times does he have to put his life on the line for me? I can't let my brother do that because I should be strong enough now so that Dean only has to care for himself. I'm not like him, I'm not pure and-"

"Maybe but you stopped guzzling the demon blood-"

Sam seemed to notice at that time that he was talking about something he was sure that no one else had known but Ruby. He took a deep breath and tried to get enough air into his lungs without passing out. He never felt like this before and thought bitterly that it could be because being stressed and pregnant at the same time would do that. The blood thing was a little worrisome but he just got over morning sickness and that had been violent. His throat had to have been sore by now.

"How'd you know about that? I mean you know I have demon blood in me but-"

"I'm an angel Sam, do you really expect anything else? Besides no human is perfect and you may be the most imperfect human I met but you aren't so bad."

Sam froze and shuddered at Cas's casual touch on his shoulder. This couldn't be happening, he told himself silently. If he let Cas do this he was going to ruin what he had with Dean. Dean was with Cas and if the angel continued to talk like this, Sam's shattered heart would be wrapped in a false sense of security. He couldn't allow himself to have Cas if he couldn't have him all. He pushed back and saw the hidden disappointment that Cas tried to hide telling himself he had to do this for both their sakes. If Dean died though…He couldn't bear that thought . Giving his hair another yank, he sat down and tried to get his breathing under control. He didn't need to go back into a treatment room right now. It was the thought of what just happened that scared him.

He saw the nurse speaking to the doctor with grim undertones just ahead and he felt the wall cave in. This wasn't just some random person that she was talking about, this was Dean. They were his attending and something bad happened. He didn't know what he was going to do but he couldn't stay here. In his mind he realized that he shouldn't have hoped that everything would be alright because he was a Winchester and bad luck always followed.

He pushed back Cas mumbling what he believed was along the lines of having to leave and Cas just let him. He pushed his way until he was outside and breathed a whole lung full of fresh cold crisp air. It was already dark and the stars were out. Letting the tears silently fall down his cheek, he felt a weird sensation in his stomach reminding him that he wasn't alone.

"I can't do this," he whispered closing his eyes. "God give me strength to get through this. I can't-I have to leave. I just got to. Even if Dean survives he is going to be in trouble the longer he stays with me. At least this way I could leave with the sense that they love me. I love him, oh God, I love my brother and I think I love Cas now. I think I may have loved him all along, a connection thing maybe. I can't let them get hurt though God and he'll do that with me around and even then I can't give the baby away. I want to raise it and it has to be away from the supernatural. I don't want to be my dad although I know he didn't have a choice. I do and God I'm sorry. So sorry I don't pray enough and sin a lot. All I could ask is that you keep Dean and your angel safe. Amen."

By the end the sobs racked through his body and he knew with finalization that he knew what he would have to do. He just had to have faith that the rest would work itself out. It had to because he wasn't seeing anything else. Under the surface he hoped Dean didn't think of this as a betrayal, he could never actually run away from him. He couldn't change what he was doing though.

He was running away, he was desperate enough to change his whole background if he had to. But only because it was the only way to keep any of them safe and out of harm's way.

This was something he believed even if it hurt.

He had to believe it with all his might.


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Seven

Dean opened his eyes only to squeeze them shut after the bright light nearly burned his eyes. He heard loud voices, some rushed and others producing various weird sounds. He tried to focus on his breathing and found himself floating. He calmed down enough to listen to what they were saying and that was when his eyes snapped open despite the pain behind them.

"Cas where is my brother!"

The angel in question sighed and headed over. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder that Dean just shrugged off. He could tell that not being able to see Sam was causing him some distress. The Winchesters were the only humans that had honestly confused him this much even before everything happened. He sighed again only to have Dean grit his teeth and Cas felt it was best to answer him before he lost his temper and took it out on one of the nurses.

"You were brain dead," Cas told him calmly.

Dean looked shocked and Cas looked away making Dean realize that there was more to the story. Still the horror at realizing that he had gotten hurt enough that it freaked Sam out made him only worry about the state of his younger brother's mind more. He remembered only bits and pieces but it was enough to know he wasn't going to let Sam out of his sight once he found him.

"So I was brain dead? I don't remember anything at all when this was going on so I was basically a vegetable-"

"They didn't get the chance to diagnose you because you went into cardiac arrest and then you began breathing on your own. The doctor was so surprised that they ordered another MRI to see if they could compare it. You were miraculously better and there's no telling how that happened. You were close to being just gone one second and the next you were breathing and slowly coming out of your coma."

Dean nodded, rubbing at his temples. This was a huge amount of information to be receiving at such a close interval. How he usually dealt with stuff like this was that he drank himself silly until he eventually let go and even then hearing something all at once was tough. He glanced to see Cas looking hesitantly on the floor with a frown on his face.

"What happened to Sam?" Dean had the courage to speak finally and at that the angel's frown deepened. "I remember that the demon wanted to make him his bitch and before that he had tried getting you to force your way onto him. I don't think it worked though because he was talking about impregnating him Cas. It is just so weird, why would a demon want to do that to my brother? It's just wrong-"

"Unless they have a reason to try it," Cas said it so softly that Dean had to blink. It took him a second to realize that Cas didn't look any happier than he did. "There was a prophecy that was once set in high regards about some birth."

"Try Mary," Dean snapped irritated.

"No this was way after that ," Cas corrected him not getting that Dean was being cynical. "There was a saying in heaven that something powerful enough would come along and end the world. It was written that this being would have the powers of hell. We angels didn't like that one bit and still are hesitant today about anything that could be taken like that. Uriel for instance thinks that Sam could be the future parent to the antichrist. We convinced him to leave enough alone but there's another issue. There are ancient demons, much more ancient than you could imagine and Lilith is leading them. Kind of like what you humans call a cult really but the thing that gets me is they only rise when the antichrist's parent is chosen which means-"

"Sam isn't going to do that, he couldn't. He won't allow himself to carry an evil baby-"

"Even if he loved the child with all his heart because it is part of him? Besides you didn't listen to the other half of what I have to say," Cas told him a little irritated and Dean blinked wondering silently what was going on that the most naïve angel he knew was annoyed. "There's also a little light in the darkness. Something about light shining to help the war for what it is. There is not one single text left about it though and I would think that the only ones that do know aren't talking."

"It would be God wouldn't it?" Dean piped up. Cas nodded and Dean rolled his eyes wondering if he should point out the logic in that sentence. They could never know what was going to happen in the future and some stupid tab wasn't going to change anything although the crazy cult of demons trying to rape his brother.

"So we should still definitely worry about them. They won't hesitate until they get their child," Cas told him with an air of finality. "I don't really know if they are out there since no angel has taken the prophecy thing seriously. It's a load of crap to think that an abomination could create a baby out of the love of a fallen anyways."

Dean nodded feeling loads better. He frowned a second later and turned to Cas without a single doubt in his mind.

"Cas where's Sam?"

A question to which Cas was just as quick to answer.

"I don't know."

There was a tense silence in which Dean felt the ache in his heart deepen and he suddenly wished that he was still in that coma. Anything could be better than finding out about more stupid demons and his brother leaving. He needed Sam here and safe, not out there and vulnerable.

"You find him Cas and you better do it, okay? My brother is out there and all alone and-"

"I know," Cas told him and for once Dean closed his mouth.

He suddenly got the feeling that Cas was already trying. He only hoped it was good enough.

* * *

"Hello? This better be important! I was-"

"Bobby it's Sam. I just wanted to see if Dean had called you," Sam's voice was clearly showing Bobby how distraught the man truly was. Bobby didn't like it one bit and sighed before grabbing his home phone. Idjits would always be idjits, he reminded himself.

"Dean this is Bobby, what the hell is going on?" He heard Dean's side starting with the miracle of coming out of being brain dead. He cursed realizing that the elder Winchester could have been hurt and Bobby would have been ignorant to it until he received the phone call. If he received one at all at that rate anyways. These boys were going to be the death of him, he grumbled mentally. "Next time something happens, make sure you call me, idjit!"

Bobby took a deep breath before putting the cell phone up to his ear again. How in the world was he going to explain this to Sam? More importantly where was the younger Winchester while Dean was going through this? It just made him all the more angry and he found himself thinking that if Sam would have stayed there, he would've known instead of calling him.

"Well your brother is alive now idjit so what is it that you need now? How could you just leave your brother like that Sam, your brother was brain dead!"

"Bobby I'm-I'm-" Sam seemed to be getting the last word jumbled and Bobby rolled his eyes. Of course the youngest would be a brat. He may have suffered tremendously from all of this but he shouldn't have run off when supporting Dean should have been his number one priority. Dean would have done it and had in the past, especially when Sam had had an appendicitis. Not to mention that Dean gave his life for the younger one as well.

"Spit it out boy!" Bobby said finally getting fed up with the hesitation and the stuttering. Sam wasn't like this in the past and he could only wonder what he was going through that made him so scared to say what it was.

"Bobby I'm pregnant."

That Bobby never expected to hear.

"You're what? Excuse me Sam because I don't think I heard it right, when the hell did you get pregnant?" He could hear silence on the other line and cursed realizing that in his own shock, he ignored the fact that Sam was obviously going through far worse with this. "Damn idjit!"

He threw the phone on his desk and rubbed the palms of his hands against an upcoming headache. Dean had been brain dead and he was now miraculously better. Cas was hanging out with the Winchesters more and he would be a fool not to know how much the youngest seemed to care about the new addition. Cas was very oblivious to it but then again he had always been so naïve. Now was the really big ice breaker though. He didn't realize that Sam had swung that way or why he would wait until he was gone from sight to tell Bobby and not his brother. That was the big mystery though. And Dean had said something about demons wanting to have their way with him—

"Damn it!" He threw everything that was littered on his desk onto the floor with anger. He had to calm himself down though. Taking deep breaths and convincing himself that it had to be much better than what Sam made it to be, he decided to dial Dean once again.

He was getting to the bottom of this once and for all.

* * *

Sam knew things were going to get messy.

He couldn't hide forever and he knew he was a curse. He had been cursed his whole life and the fact that he was running wasn't going to change much because he tried normal once and that didn't work out any before. He took a small break on a bench trying to keep his breathing under control. He nearly panicked every time someone touched him and even an elderly couple glared at him but Sam was trying to play it safe for now. He was alone and vulnerable. Demons could hurt him now more than ever.

"You okay kid?"

Sam looked over and noticed one of the young men that had been following him him ever since the bus and quickly cleared his throat. He didn't want to take this as a coincidence because it wasn't just his life on the line. Suddenly feeling the small quiver in his stomach, he quickly nodded and jumped up to head for the small diner across the street. The baby was most likely hungry and he wasn't going to just not eat.

The man caught up with him again once he had a nice big plate of hot cakes and sat right across from him. Sam paused, fork halfway to notice that he seemed to have an unusual amount of interest in him. He ignored him for now hoping he'd get the hint and go away if he didn't have his attention. The man just sat there and ordered a French toast and coffee much to his aggravation.

"You looked a little pale earlier but now that you don't look it any more I assume that you were only hungry," he added with a laugh.

"Have you been following me?" Sam finally asked. He didn't want to risk demons and any other supernatural creatures that were after him to know where he was and if this guy was the deal, well he still had Ruby's knife with him and well concealed. The other man didn't know that though and he decided to play it easy.

"Well I do live here. Wellsville isn't that crowded and everyone here knows everyone so it's not everyday someone decides to stay around-"

"I'm not staying, I'm just drifting through," Sam quickly corrected him. "There was a bad break up and my boyfriend and I left in bad terms. It wouldn't stop him from whooping ass though."

The man blinked.

"Oh, well in that case I think I should be more careful before the boyfriend indeed kicks my ass. You have an abnormally large appetite though. So either you always have one or you didn't eat last night-"

"My brother almost died and I felt that I wasn't needed there. You know, old family drama that would probably bore you to tears."

Sam stabbed another piece and forced himself to eat even though he didn't want to. This is for the baby he reminded himself. The little baby that was made out of love even though it wasn't on Cas's part since he was just looking for someone to use at the time to get over his pining of Dean. He paused for a moment and stuffed another piece into his mouth, watching the man's laughing grey eyes. He paused when he thought he saw the eyes go black and blinked. They didn't but that didn't mean he didn't see anything. He gulped and quickly gulped down half the glass of orange juice, glad that he was in view of so many people that it wouldn't go unnoticed if this guy tried to hurt him.

"You know how annoying you are?"

Sam blinked once again wondering what he was talking about.

"Well see over there. They are very busy and if you think that safety comes in numbers than maybe you should begin to wonder if maybe the numbers part is truly worth it if you are very much alone-"

Sam stood up only to be shoved back into his seat by a heavy set man. He started to tremble and quickly pushed his plate away making the man laugh which he did so heartily. Leaning forward, he pushed him into a rather harsh kiss, only pulling him away when he at least got a little bit of tongue in.

"You are going to be so much fun to screw over. I mean of all the demons you could have run into, it had to be me. I wish that you would look at yourself in a mirror sometime when you see yourself this way. It's so hilarious and the fact that Jeff hurt your brother that bad but didn't kill him is a disappointment. I mean the angel couldn't even heal him so either there was a miracle or-" the light above him exploded and whilst the demon was distracted, Sam took his chance and ran for the back door. He was out by the time the demon realized what Sam was planning but he didn't get far enough away.

Another two trapped him against the wall in the back alley and the demon smacked him across the face for the little getaway attempt. Sam whimpered when the demon held his face, even though he was rubbing it gently because he knew that the demon wasn't going to be so gentle if he got his way.

"What makes you think you could leave like that?" he asked with angered arrogance. "Bubby, that whole light explosion thing was a neat trick and you have got to show us some time. I'm dying to know how you could get away with something so tremendous like that."

Sam froze feeling the beginnings of blood in his mouth and started realizing with sudden horror that the blood wasn't at all connected with the morning sickness. It was more connected every time the baby did something like this. He attempted to swallow it down but at the same time he did that, the demon forced himself into his mouth and seemingly smiled, why Sam didn't know.

"You cut your mouth baby? He pulled his tongue out and stared in horror when Sam coughed the rest out, leaving a trail of blood around his mouth. "What the hell are you exactly doing bitch? You trying to kill yourself before we get our promised spawn? Or maybe you heard of our second in command to Lilith?"

Sam stared with huge eyes as the demon wedged a leg between his knees. He felt lightheaded and would have thanked it any other time but this even though it would keep him from feeling much pain since the sudden sight of blood made him worried. He attempted a deep breath to bring some air into his starved lungs and the demon pulled forward, only in time to end up with a look of shock on his face before he fell backwards.

Sam fell down against the wall and once it was just him and the unexpected savior, he couldn't help but gape at his tremendous surprise at who it was that even came to his rescue. He hadn't been exactly on the best terms with this one since the beginning of time and his brother would share the notion.

"What's the matter Sam? Are you regretting not having a chance at those demons now that you've learnt about their evil secret council and their plans of impregnating you with their evil spawn?"

He could have said anything and he knew it would have sounded just as surprised if not more shocked than he was but he couldn't exactly think at the moment so he said the first thing that came from his mouth.

"Meg?"

"Surprised to see me Sammy boy? I thought that you would be with your brother and that annoying angel."

Sam just fell forward right as Meg catch him cursing huge Winchesters and stubborn attitudes. In the end she hoped he was grateful and didn't try to kill her off because of all that she had done in the past. She was going out on limb here but she also thought that he'd gained weight since the last time that she saw him because he was damn well heavier than he had been the last time she had seen him.

"When you wake back up you are going to give me a few things to go on Sammy boy because I may be pretty but I'm not dumb like your average demon and I don't make out for the sake of some baby. Okay?"

Sighing she realized until then all she could do was help out and be grateful those demons didn't have any buddies.


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Eight

The washcloth was surprisingly welcomed as he blinked and became more alert. The apartment he seemed to find himself in was small and disheveled and remembering what had happened back in the alleyway, he shot up only to begin coughing from all the dust around him. The demon sighed and soothingly pat his back until he was finished and then pushed him back against his will. She stopped him mid struggle with a laugh.

"You do realize that I'm not going to bend you over and get you to take it. For one I'm missing a few parts and another, well I'm an orthodox demon. I don't do people."

Sam looked over with wide puppy dog eyes and Meg cursed herself before she went back to the drink she had put down when she saw signs that he was awake. He was cleaned and it looked like he was exhausted so she had given him a chance to sleep. It was obvious to see that he was running from something and as much as she liked to say that she didn't traumatize him this time, she had to know what was going on.

"I would have to say that your stunt back there wasn't very smart. Those demons are going to be after you and if you don't go back to your brother, you're going to be far more vulnerable. I know, you've been alone before when Dean went to hell and believe me, I bet I would've had a kick out of it if I were there but I wasn't so moving on.."

"I can't go back," he said softly. "I can't let Dean get hurt again because of me-"

"Yeah well I could hurt you and then you could go back to your brother that way. Hmm. I'll break a leg or stuff your foot in your mouth because what you said was incredibly stupid and I've seen you two together remember. I'm the only demon you boys have failed to kill over and over again. Oh and there is the fact that daddy couldn't even kill me. I must be good huh?"

Seeing that she at least got a small chuckle out of the damned stubborn Winchester, she continued on. "I didn't save you for nothing and if you tell me as much, I'm going to throw you back to them. So why don't you tell me what's going on and I could tell you what you want to know if you are so damn curious. How about it Winchester? Don't be like Daddy and Dean like I like to think because this would make it a whole lot harder-"

"You're starting to sound like Ruby-"

Meg laughed.

"Sorry but I tell the truth about my motives and when I want to start a little hell to be raised on earth, I wouldn't leave that out. You know getting a Winchester dependent on demon blood and then having them kill the oldest demon to date so that the box in hell opens and our father is set free. But that's just me, I know that if I lie to stubborn mother fuckers that I'm damned to their sad angst for all eternity and I can't have that, can I?"

Sam stared.

"Ruby wouldn't do that." He ignored Meg's eye roll and her mumbled, "Yeah she would." Instead he went on as though she hadn't spoken. "How do I begin, I mean it's been a while since I even seen you and if you think I don't trust you, those demons are doing way more than you ever did. They want me to have their spawn for some reason and they're very persistent."

"They do and it has to do with an ancient prophecy about an abomination having a spawn from one of the fallen. Well you can't get more fallen than a demon kid so they decided that you're an abomination and they would like to mate with you. Oh and something about the antichrist being born and an ancient group of demons in some cult in league with Lilith. Yeah, they want to fuck the hell out of you no pun intended and get the baby they were promised-"

"But I'm already pregnant," Sam told her and she stopped, falling before him with a glare. He suddenly found himself quite nervous at her glare and wondered if it was the right thing to blurt out. She didn't seem to notice that she was quite scary right now and backed up to the end of the couch with a whimper that surprisingly made her stop.

"How in the world could you let a demon-"

"It wasn't a demon," he quickly told her. At her look of surprise he told her everything. He couldn't stop, he kept going on and telling her about Cas's pining over his brother and how they had broken up. He told her about offering himself even though he hadn't done that before. He even told her about how he suddenly started to feel about the angel and Meg didn't laugh. She just listened with her arms crossed and a blank expression on her face. He didn't even know what she was doing here helping him for when he had wanted to kill her, hell he had wanted her beyond dead for some of the things she had caused to befall on his family. But here she was helping him and he didn't understand.

A hand shoved him forward and a paper bag was put over his nose and mouth. He fought it for a few minutes but when he calmed down and it was removed, he realized that he must have hyperventilated again. She took a seat right next to him and smiled a big evil grin of a smile and one that told him she was up to something.

"So you're pregnant with an angel's baby? They usually last four months and here you are what, fifteen weeks? Yeah your baby has a soul and to make it worse? Well, have you ever heard of a soulful half angel baby being full term. If you don't go full term the baby dies. It's horrible and yes it can be sad but don't give up okay?" Sam nodded and she turned with an afterthought. "Explains the blood though. I mean the baby has angel powers and all that grace in your belly that if it were to use some of it, it could cause you physical pain. I mean it never happened but I believe that if you were to go full term with it, you could put your life in danger. I guess you finally grew up if that has given you so little thought."

Sam thought for a moment.

"It does scare me but I love this baby and I'm not going to kill it, it's heart is beating already. I have a little boy or girl growing inside me and I don't want the baby not to have a chance at living. Where would I be if mom saw what was going to happen and decided she'd be better off without me? Even if she saw into the future she would love me so much and have me for the time she had. I couldn't do anything to change that and I'm not going to kill this baby."

Meg's mouth twitched before she nodded.

"Way to go hon. If you keep telling yourself that, you will become a great parent someday. In the meantime you have to tell that stubborn angel to take care of you. Not for the fact that you are pregnant but the fact that you have some demons that seem to think that you are meat to use and throw away. You want to die Winchester? Then die later not now when they find out that you one upped them and went more powerful than they could ever imagine-"

"I'm not, I'm not going to cause Dean issues now. He's better off without me like I said."

"Yeah and while you are off wallowing in self-pity do you think that Dean would give up on looking for you? Stupid you are even more stubborn than your daddy. And boy was that man really really annoying. Do you want to get hurt?"

"I need to see a doctor though. I need a checkup to see how my baby's doing." Meg nodded with a sigh.

"And somewhere in this I've become the babysitter I take it."

Sam looked at her oddly and shook his head.

"No I'm not forcing you. I-"

"No one forced me to save you anyways. I'm not going to leave you alone while you owe me for kicking their asses. I think maybe you should lay low for a while then. They would expect you to be here since it's really close to your old family home. How's about we go someplace over to the west like Cali?"

"Nice but no. I want my baby raised in eternal safety not places where they could be kidnapped in a fricking amusement park."

"Well hot shot, you're baby would probably castrate them if they even tried." At Sam's shocked expression Meg laughed. "Baby has to be powerful but then again you already knew that."

"That would explain why I got so freaked out," Sam told her. "I can see a person's past and read their hearts. I couldn't do that before…"

"Maybe you should lay low and don't do anything stupid. I mean I wasn't very good on that but just think, you go back and they will convince you to let the baby die and save yourself. I know your brother and if he thought you were going to get hurt, he'd even let a little innocent kid die just so that you would stay alive."

Sam nodded with an arched eye brow.

"I know that you don't get along eye to eye on Dean but maybe you should be nicer to him the-"

"No. I'm doing you a favor because you owe me like I said. I have a nice apartment in Lake View Illinois and guess who's going to do the house work for me? You are. And you are also going to be getting a small job nearby so that you aren't getting those stubborn feelings that I'm trapping you there or allowing you to live for free. How's that?"

Sam frowned.

"Why would you have multiple apartments anyways?"

"This one belonged to the woman I'm possessing now. Wanted to be an actress. I guess she's working hard to make it and the least I could do was make her feel even more worthless. Doesn't matter because she's probably dead now." She shrugged and Sam nodded.

He wanted to tell her how wrong it was and how he couldn't agree because of the vessel type thing like he did with Ruby but for some reason he knew that this demon was actually helping him and the least he could do was to refrain from making jabs at her.

Finally he nodded.

It may have been a long day after all the events with what, finding his brother hurt and taking the pain from him to having Meg save him but he found he could survive. After the baby was born though it could only be harder. He just hoped that Meg wasn't double crossing him.

Not when he found someone that helped him.

* * *

"Bobby when did you talk to Sam?"

Dean rubbed his eyes as he grabbed his clothes and changed into them from the stupid hospital gowns that they had all the patients wear. He still felt a little flank pain from his right side but other than that, he was either signing out AMA or leaving. Sam was out there somewhere alone and scared and he wasn't going to keep his brother waiting. Stupid Sam and his stupid brain, he thought. Sam must have blamed what happened upon himself and once Dean found him, he was going to get him to wish that he hadn't thought that in the beginning.

He was just about done when who showed up but Ruby. She looked tired and Dean would have ganked her ass right there and then but they were in the hospital still and Bobby was on the phone demanding some attention. He sighed but turned back to what Bobby was saying now. He didn't know what Sam told him but he had yelled at him about being in a hospital and not calling him making the elder Winchester madder than ever.

"Listen Bobby I would have but I didn't plan to get beat up by a demon. I was just trying to save Sam and the ungrateful brat left without saying a thank you. You know how that is right?"

"No I don't and after what you said I'm worried about the kid more. The demon Thor, have you heard about him?"

Dean stopped right there. He hadn't but looking over at Cas, he wasn't sure if he had. He relayed the name and sure enough he looked up and Dean was able to tell that this was not someone to mess with especially a demon by the name of Thor.

"Who is Thor anyways?" Dean asked ignoring Ruby's stare of shock at not knowing the demon.

"Well he happens to be an ancient demon that loves pain," Bobby added sarcastically. "He is the demon brought about to induce torture in its victims. Once it was said that kids were often kept in the house during a certain time to keep the demon Thor away but that's just a myth. He is more appropriately described as loving to cause all types of anguish behind as he carefully chooses his victim by priority."

"Right and how does he pick them?" Dean asked only to have to remove the phone from his ear a moment later by Bobby reciting the word Idjit.

"Boy he is a scary demon and he probably has a boss. We mustn't discount the fact that this ancient stupid cult is after Sam and that they could have him for all we know. We need to find something that could find him and keep him safe. Is Cas looking into it?"

"No," Dean said after a hesitant look at the angel. "He can't find Sam Bobby and he's been looking for a good seventeen hours straight. There's talk that they met him in Wellsville Kansas but Cas says he's not there anymore and there's no telling where he is at. We ran at a cold spot as well."

After a pause, Bobby continued.

"Great. Tell Cas if he was watching him more than this certainly wouldn't have happened."

Dean looked confused and turned to face Cas seeing that the angel looked a little upset. He wasn't going to tell him that though because whether it was his fault or not, he hadn't stopped looking since Sam took off and he was already beating himself up about it without having to be brought down even more by those cold and cruel words.

"Dean do you even realize why Sam left?" Bobby asked and that caught him off guard.

"Well he probably blamed himself like you said Bobby. I'm going to find him though so don't worry and then I'll take him to your house. I'm not going to yell either and he'll be fine. I'll just remind him how worried I was and everything will be okay-"

"Dean just stay safe and as for the reason, I'm afraid you might have to ask yourself more what the real reason was."

Dean went to ask but he found that Bobby had already hung up. He stared at the phone a moment more before shouting the first thing that came to his head.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

* * *

Sam snuggled into the bed and seemed to notice that once again this was a one bedroom apartment. The fact that Meg was obviously giving it up was nice and very unexpected. She was not the demon that he had expected her to be. Smiling softly, he moved over a bit to make some room for her. The doctor had confirmed that he was indeed fifteen weeks and the previous dating had been good. He was due the third of June like he had previously been told. He was given a picture and a card for a future appointment with the doctor as well. Meg hung back but she got to look and he knew that she was happy despite not seemingly caring about it. A part of him wished that Cas was there in her place but knew why he couldn't.

He was down for some time afterwards, slowly eating an ice cream that Meg had gotten. Suffice to say, she smeared it in his face and told him if he was going to be sad that he could suck it through a straw. That got him from thinking about it and he even smiled. He couldn't have asked for better help and now even, he didn't want her to feel out of element when she owned this apartment after all. Sure he was working in a small cafe now but that didn't mean anything. If she hadn't come along, he would still be in that alley way with demons wanting to hurt him.

"You know Sam I don't think it's a good idea. Cassy boy hates me and he would think of this as cheating-"

"Come on I don't want to feel alone and it's not like we're going to remove our clothes and do the dirty."

Meg laughed.

"I should really not care about this Sam. I don't sleep and you know it."

Sam looked up and she swore she was going to bring his daddy back and beat his ass all over again. Whoever decided that Sam Winchester should hunt early on should have been shot because those puppy dog eyes were really undermined and it was just unfair. It was the perfect weapon against any one opponent.

"There is a television and I don't mind it playing I'm just, I can't sleep alone tonight for obvious reasons and I would be thankful if you-"

"So I just lay there and let you snuggle next to me and be bored for twelve hours?" At Sam's crestfallen look, she sighed and got in next to him. She couldn't believe she was doing this as well. At one time she was looking forward to getting into his pants but then things changed and she didn't view him as a hunk of meat anymore. Especially the fact that an angel claimed him made him more out of reach. But it didn't help trying to make him more comfortable. She sighed when she felt Sam right next to her and she could feel his hesitation. "Go on big boy, you know you want to."

She felt his arms encircle her like he was trying to hang onto a piece of reality even in his sleep. She couldn't blame him though and she knew that this was only the little bit that she had seen of that was the real him. She knew that he hated lightning storms although he didn't hesitate to kill monsters that scared off a bunch of other people, he liked the color green and owned several shirts, he hated the life he was raised in and didn't want that for his child, but even more and lastly was the fact that despite all these she couldn't help but think of him as a younger brother. With her, all demons were on their own and being tortured in hell for thousands of years it seems, she never remembered if she had any family that she loved so much. Looking down at the peaceful sleeping look on the one she used to hate so much, she realized that she could if she tried. She could take him on like a younger brother and she didn't have to feel obligated anymore. She saw how Dean acted towards him and understood now.

She understood everything behind him protecting Sam and she found she wanted to do so too.


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Nine

"Did Ruby give us anything useful?"

Cas didn't care much for that particular demon but Dean did talk to her for a while and he was now eating a sandwich as though it hadn't been much anyways. Cas looked out the window seeing the moon shine and casting a glowing beam through the window. Cas felt bad and not only because of what he had done to Sam. It went way beyond that now and he began to question his relationship with Dean for the very first time since he ended what he had with the younger Winchester.

He didn't understand, it wasn't supposed to escalate this much. He was trying to find a way to Dean's heart without the other getting mad at him and breaking up with him for women. It hadn't been fair to him that he would be devoted all that time and he wouldn't get it back fully. But Sam had been different. He was unsure of what he was supposed to do in the beginning but he learned it quickly enough and it became more about that. In fact sometimes afterwards, Sam asked him to stay even for a minute and he would tell him the most random stuff as he laid his head on Cas's chest. He just wondered why it would make his chest feel like it was on fire afterwards with the younger one and not with Dean who did it all the time.

"She didn't give me shit but let's not give up hope Cas. He's safe and if he had been taken I'm sure there would be something by now." Cas nodded feeling as though he should have done something better and maybe the younger one wouldn't have left. Why he left was beyond him but Bobby seemed to have an idea. Maybe they could ask Bobby again….

"Cas."

Cas stiffened and his eyes went wide.

He didn't know who called out to him but it was momentarily forgotten as he placed a hand over where his vessel's heart was where there was feeling of a piercing white hot burn there and he almost dropped down to the floor like a sack of potatoes if Dean hadn't caught him just in time. They wobbled to the couch where Cas took a couple of moments to realize that it had now stopped. It took another minute for him to risk moving without feeling the intense pain. It had been really painful and he couldn't trace the origin but frowned feeling as though he wouldn't really like it once he did find out.

"Dean I have to go."

"But you're in pain Cas! Don't you realize that-"

"Listen Dean there are things that I'm still working out, alright? First off there's still the Garrison that I have to worry about. We need to keep the end game from coming as much as possible because it would be something we would come to regret and I don't want that."

Dean huffed and crossed his arms.

"Second, I need to find your brother and I won't ever forgive myself for all the things I've done. When I first met him I called him an abomination. How could I do that Dean? What angel has the right to hold the judgment that belongs to God alone? I can't even tell you enough how much of a mistake I made with him and-"

"Cas when did you fall in love with my brother?"

That sentence alone made Cas look over and instead of seeing an overly angered Dean, in his place was the elder Winchester with a calculating and thoughtful look upon his face. Cas tipped his head in confusion but Dean didn't change his look or his expression.

There was no anger, only extreme sadness.

* * *

"AHHHH!"

Sam woke up with a start and wanted to scream some more. It hurt so bad! He wiggled around to try to get comfortable and his eyes widened as he came to realize that the sheets were wet. Snatching his hand to look at his fingers, he didn't need the little bit of light illuminating the room to realize what it was. He groaned and let a scream rip from his throat before he heard the sound of the other occupant in the apartment room come running.

"Shit Sam it's three o'clock in the morning and you aren't even sleeping! What-" She trailed off noticing the blood as well and quickly swore. She helped him up and took a second to think whether she would call an ambulance, take him there herself, or teleport him to the car so that they had a mode of transportation to come back with so that she wasn't hurting him or the baby. She cursed and decided to go with the third option because an ambulance took too long and she didn't want to risk the baby right now so option two was out as well. "Hold on Sammy boy the baby isn't going to die on my watch."

At the hospital's entrance she wheeled him in and was glad they bypassed all of that triage bullshit that they usually did when she forced Sam to go for every ache and pain. She knew that the doctors didn't like it one bit but she wasn't going to tell them the truth. It would sound pretty weird saying, 'Doctor there is an angel hybrid in there and Sam could slowly be dying because of the growing amount of grace in his stomach that would probably exorcise thirty demons. So please make sure he isn't going to die any time soon because he still has at least twenty two and four days to go before the baby is supposed to pop.' That would get them both in the nut house for sure.

"Meg, what the hell is happening!" Sam tried to keep the wince from his face but Meg caught it and quickly grabbed his hand.

"Shut up and let the doctor examine you," She warned him.

He nodded and despite the earlier embarrassment of having the doctor constantly shove his fingers where he considered private, Sam got over it soon enough. The concern for the baby always did trump the need of modesty in his opinion. The doctor didn't do that though. After taking a look with the ultrasound to make sure the baby was okay, the doctor then located the cause of the problem, frowning as he did.

"Your placenta is hanging low Mr. Winston," he told him and Sam nodded. The pain seemed to be subsiding anyways and the cramps had all since disappeared by now. The doctor quickly turned to the nurse, conversing in harsh whispers beyond Sam's concept of understanding. Meg just smirked and gave him the shut up and wait look when he looked like he was going to protest. Sam swallowed instead and looked like he was going to cry.

"You big baby, you're the one that was in pain and now they are going over ways to fix this you are going to complain like the little baby Winchester you are? Prove you are better than that big boy and wait until we know for certain what they are going to suggest. Can't have you losing anyone now can we?"

"I'm still wet. Can't we just let me change out of the bloody clothes," Sam asked and Meg just had to smirk at the embarrassed tone he was trying to hide. It was still funny after finding out that Sam was completely modest when it came to stuff like this and if there was one thing about having a baby, it was that there was no room for modesty.

"You better believe it. I'll talk to them when they get back alright? Besides you are already sacrificing everything by telling the doctors that you are willing to carry a kid that could kill you." She paused seeing that he didn't seem to care and wondered how someone could come to love something so much that they'd risk their own life for it. "So how much do you love Cas?"

Sam looked up abruptly and Meg allowed herself to remain neutral. She didn't care much. Not really and if he was going to think that then she didn't really have to pretend much anyways. Who cared about that anyways when she was witnessing some big phenomenon that nobody could understand?

"You're asking that now? I don't think I'd be going through this if I didn't-"

"You Winchesters aren't like that though. Not really. You could be carrying the demons baby and you would believe that they deserve the chance. Some crap really about how it's not about how they were made but who they become that could decide it for anyone. You and your brother are crazy for thinking that but I don't blame you. How could I when I know that it won't change who you are? So just tell me how much you love the angel and not if you love him or not. I could already tell that you do if that is at all questioned."

"Come on Meg-"

"You still owe me big," She told him, getting him to shut up. "I didn't have to do all this and yet I found that protecting you from the big bad demons is something that justifies an answer. Now tell me or maybe I'll just leave-"

"OKAY!" Sam calmed down once he realized that Meg was looking at him and blushed before deciding to start. Meg flipped her wavy dark hair, settling back in the chair to listen. "I always just had a crush on him at first and then we started that affair and suddenly I can't stop thinking about him. My heart speeds up by just thinking about what he would do if he knew about the baby. I know I can't tell him but I sometimes wish I could because it's his right just as much it is mine. I mean," he paused to pull at his hair, something Meg noticed that he did when he was deeply frustrated but she let it go. She wanted to know more. "I shouldn't have used him like that, not when he loves Dean like he does and yet I couldn't stop. I finally did out of guilt two months after it began and I can't say how much I regret falling for him because I know I could never have him. I can't even think the same because that would never happen. I love him Meg. I love him to death that I would carry his baby full term for him because it was love that created the baby. Probably not what Cas was hoping for but the baby was made and it's living inside me. Something Cas gave me so I can't just get rid of her or him, I can't."

Meg sighed.

"Okay that's good. Don't you realize that maybe Cas might return some of your feelings? You never asked him," He tried to interrupt so she got him to shut up with a glare and continued. "The baby is going to be so loved if you told him and even if it falls in the cracks you still have me to kick your ass back into place. I won't let you do anything dumb okay? Don't worry about the angel right now and don't worry about anything but rest and lots of it."

Sam looked at her curiously and she elaborated with a smile.

"I think that maybe your brilliant doctor has prescribed bed rest."

Sam moaned and the doctor returned to listen to his heart and make sure he was just as healthy before removing the stethoscope and putting it back over around his neck. Sam hated this doctor because he was strict and he always got told off. First it was for the baby not being big like it should and then it was because he was eating too many sweet things. He wished the doctor would just give him useful tips once in a while instead of counseling him on what he should be doing instead of what he did.

"You are on bed rest until you reach your twenty first week. You can inform your work if you would like but you are not to work until then. And if so help it, I find out you are not following this instruction, I will let anyone else that sees you know that your baby was labeled a threatened abortion." He held up his hand when Sam tried to argue, successfully subduing Sam and ending the argument before it started. "I don't care what you say but the odds of another doctor taking on a risk patient like that is low. You were told that the baby could hurt you and it won't be mild too but I'm risking my license by helping you so you are going to listen to me."

He adjusted his glasses and went on and Sam felt that he had just finished lecturing him like he was two years old instead of his twenty four years. He felt even more smaller than he had been in the beginning when he had come here.

"Now the reason for the bed rest is that we don't want the placenta to be torn from the wall since it would ultimately mean the death of your baby. If you wait until your stomach starts to stretch out then the placenta could move upwards and we could avoid this catastrophe. Are you good on following this?"

Sam quickly nodded and the doctor ripped the instructions off of his note pad with a satisfying grin.

"I don't hate you Mr. Winston but you have to understand that you are a difficult patient and I'm trying to guarantee that both of you survive. Do you understand?"

Sam nodded with a lot more awe than he ever felt possible. He never really expected the doctor to really feel that way and now that he knew that he simply didn't do this out of spite, he was feeling much better. It sucked that he had to go on bed rest but that was the lesser of all evils and he surmised that it was for the baby and he would do it for that alone.

"Now no sex okay. Only get up to use the bathroom and this companion of yours-"

"Sister," Meg quickly corrected. "I'm adopted by his mommy and daddy who seemed almost generous and let's face it, they always wanted a girl."

Sam mentally groaned but the doctor nodded and continued on.

"Your sister can bring you your meals in bed." He held up his finger and Sam immediately shut up realizing that there was no room for arguing this one thing as well. He slumped down and thought of all the things Meg was going to make him do when he was finally off. She loved all of the things she had him do so far and while it wasn't strenuous, he never before made an apartment so clean it sparkled before. Maybe the bed rest would be good for a little while, he finally thought. But then again, the café had so few workers in the beginning and he didn't want them mad. "Your next checkup is when you turn twenty one weeks okay? That means the twenty second of January okay? I know that you still have common sense but remember to bundle up. It's getting cold and you came in with hardly anything on and the only thing keeping you warm being the blanket you snatched on your way out. It's supposed to snow this weekend a lot."

Sam nodded.

"I promise to follow everything even if I don't like it," he admitted and the doctor nodded with a small smile.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do Mr. Winston and tell your family that they don't have to worry about losing your little one soon. You do have family that you're with besides her right? I mean you made the baby with somebody who I bet would be more than happy to know is alright, right?"

Sam nodded with a false smile at that, not wanting the doctor to know just how alone he was. He did this to himself anyways. He hesitantly got into the wheel chair that the nurse parked next to the bed and accepted the appointment card whilst Meg silently wheeled him to the car. She was glad that they only spent thirty minutes there because she had left the car running and was definitely not thinking of it then but now it was still warm.

"You need to stop worrying about the baby and the baby's daddy Sammy. Everything is going to be fine at the end," she admitted when she saw that he hadn't really been down since then but he definitely wasn't happy.

"How could you say that when the baby could still die?" Sam asked moving to look her in the eye.

"Because you love both and that is enough. Don't you realize that we demons, we don't love. Hell we were once humans and we don't remember what it was like. Did we have parents that cared or even brothers and sisters? No we don't so therefore we don't care about our humanity but you boys went through so much and yet you still have that naivety that you haven't yet lost. If it makes a difference I would like you to keep it for a little while longer before some demon steals that too."

"That was a nice speech," Sam admitted with a smile. At her glare he turned away to hide a chuckle. "I'm not necessarily having a boy you know."

Meg snorted.

"I don't remember asking."

There was a moment of silence where Sam definitely felt better and Meg herself looked as though she wasn't on edge. Dean had to have been looking for him, he began to think. Bobby probably told him some things already and even though he wasn't sure all of what he said, he ought to put some of that faith that he claimed he had into use and believe that everything would be fine. Putting a hand over his stomach, he settled it there for the first time and felt like there was bubbles in his stomach again but he knew what it was this time around. Even though he couldn't feel the kicks yet, he knew it was the baby and it brought a bigger smile to his lips just knowing that.

"There's one thing I will ask though."

Sam arched his eyebrows in confusion and Meg barely took her eyes off the wheel to give him a satisfied smirk.

"Prove all those stupid demons wrong and give us a prophesied girl. I think it would make everything better if you and Cas made a girl."

Sam blinked before beginning to splutter and Meg laughed.

"Just think on it okay? I know you don't care what it is but if legend serves correctly, then neither does God."

Sam finally nodded and laid his head against the window. He really couldn't help it but seeing as though he was normally used to the lull of the car as his brother and him usually traveled through the country, he fell right to sleep with a content smile on his face.

* * *

"Answer the question Cas, that's all I ask. Do you love my brother?" Dean repeated and Cas found his shoulders slouch. He honestly thought they could avoid this some more until he knew for sure. He had no way of knowing honestly and he didn't want Dean to think that he was cheating on him. He hadn't and he never even thought to but Dean grew impatient fast and continued on. "Did you do something with him? I want to know Cas. I want to know right now because this is just so great. First my brother leaves and I find demons are after him and then I realize the weird feelings I have been having every time I saw you interact with Sam-they were probably because underneath everything you love my younger brother!"

"Dean I didn't mean-," Cas stopped himself and held his arm up to let Dean know to give him a second. Dean did but he was tapping his boot impatiently and looking like he seriously wanted to kill something now. "I didn't mean to do anything with him but you must understand, you left me first and I was lonely. I was desperate to find out how to keep you with me and then Sam offered-"

"Wait Sam offered what exactly?" Dean couldn't believe he was hearing this. What the hell had been going on that he didn't know? Sam did something and it ended with Cas suddenly falling hard in love with him. The question was how and why? "Did Sam offer sex to you?"

"He offered to let me use him until you came back," Cas saw the look of shock on Dean's face and could only continue hoping that he didn't get too mad. "But I don't know what happened since then Dean. I think I began to realize that everything the other angels told me about him was completely wrong. How in the world did they come to those conclusions anyways is beyond me but now he's gone and I know it's all my fault-"

"You had sex with my younger brother?" Dean finally asked and once Cas nodded, Dean grabbed onto the chair to keep himself steady as the shock set in. "You had sex with my brother when you and I were broken up?"

Cas again nodded and Dean felt like he was going to throw up. Sam always did have some sort of hero worship for Cas and Dean had ignored that. He really thought it was his brother's idea of admiration and didn't hesitate to return Cas's feelings in the beginning because the thought, hey angel but as it turned out he really messed things up. Did he really care about Cas like Sam did? No he did not. He didn't even know if he loved him and he knew that if Sam would have let him finish that day instead of shooing him out, he would have realized that Dean was having problems trying to decide whether to keep him around or just toss him once and for all but he didn't want to hurt his feelings. But now Cas loved Sam so it was perfect. Sam left though and he didn't know how to fix this.

Turning to Cas again, Dean sighed.

"I think we should break up Cas."

Cas looked at him in shock and looked a little less crestfallen than he thought he would be under the circumstances and it was then that he decided that he had done the right thing. He didn't love Cas like this, he suddenly realized. He found himself thinking of Cas as a great friend though and he didn't want to ruin that. He would still care about him though and that would never change no matter who Cas went with and it wouldn't stop Dean from actually meeting someone he could care for as well.

"If you hurt him, there would be Hell to pay though. Once we find him, you better tell him how you feel. You better not hold back and if it is worth anything to me, you have my blessing."

The angel really did look like he was in shock and Dean couldn't believe he was doing this but he knew that it was the right thing to do. He couldn't have Cas pining after him after all. Just as he thought that it would take longer for Cas to realize that he wasn't mad and that he was actually approving Cas to be with his brother, the angel hugged him tightly. He actually felt like he was going to be squeezed to death but he waited a moment.

Finally, he grunted out, "Enough Cas before you kill me."

Cas let him go sheepishly but he looked happier than he ever saw him and Dean could only wonder what he was doing that he missed this. What Dean and Cas had wasn't love but what Cas and his baby brother had shared had to be love. He was again determined to hit his brother upside the head so he would realize that but first.

He felt the demons had to be taken care of.


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Ten

"Bobby?"

"Hey Sam." Bobby adjusted the phone and kept from sighing out loud. The fact that Sam was even talking to him was good in itself. He just needed him to talk to Dean now and work out what was going on between them. He knew that he didn't hate the kid even when the brat ran off once again though this time around Bobby somewhat understood what had gone through his mind when he had done it. "What do I owe this pleasure for?"

"Bobby I'm fine. I know you're upset because I chose to leave but I couldn't stay. What are they going to do when they find out about the baby?"

Bobby had to really hold his temper in check. Oh yeah, he thought. They were really going to be mad especially since he saw Cas so torn up the other day just by the fact that he couldn't find the young Winchester. Dean himself seemed a bit better and Bobby wondered if he knew even a little bit of what was going on. It was better than him moping earlier in the week about whatever that had been and Bobby was fully ready to throttle him too.

"I'm sure they wouldn't be adverse to seeing the baby Sam. You do realize that they don't hate you right?"

"Bobby I'm just staying low and keeping them safe with the demon cult after me-"

"Who told you that?"

Very little actually surprised him although the Winchesters were known to be a huge exception. What he just said did surprise the man. He thought that Sam was in a place where he wasn't hunting and staying away from anything and everything that could put him in harm's way. That's why Dean wasn't worried because as long as Bobby was talking to Sam and relaying the fact as such, he didn't have to rush around the globe going on a mad search to get him back. Damn it Sam, he wanted to know where he was just in case he stopped calling. He even got a new phone and if the one before that wasn't sufficient it also had been a way to trace him. The reason why he hadn't tried to do any of the things he could still try was because Sam was talking to him and if he did anything at all, Sam would run again but he would stray away from contacting anyone. Something he didn't need right now.

"Well I'm not stupid Bobby. I can find things out….and I get to know things through some things thanks to the baby." Bobby blinked before letting out a huge sigh.

"Are you saying that your special abilities are back?" He didn't know why he had to even ask but the silence on the other end was quite enough that he didn't really need one.

So that meant that this was a powerful nephilim baby with a soul he'd have to guess. It wasn't a question after knowing that he'd been pregnant for at least five months now and was still pregnant with the baby. That meant that the baby wasn't one of those that popped out after four months soulless and mediocre power wise.

"Sam I'd wish you would tell me-"

"Is that Sam?"

Fuck, Bobby thought. He discounted the fact that he would be getting in around this time and that Cas was helping him with search tips. Now Cas looked over with his worrisome expression on his face and Bobby quickly tried to switch the phone to his other ear, not working as well when Dean just snatched it up from him with an angered look on his face until he brought the phone to his own ear and started talking.

"Sammy? If you're there please just talk to me. I only want to talk and know that you're okay."

Sam closed his eyes in defeat before knowing what he was going to do.

"Hi Dean."

Dean laughed in relief before sitting at the couch and Bobby decided that he would leave him to it since he was really happy to hear from his brother and there was no way that Bobby was going to take that from him.

The elder Winchester hadn't noticed the change in Bobby's demeanor or the fact that he left the room but Cas did and he seemed to find it disheartening that everything was a disaster because the younger hunter thought they would be better off without him. He continued to look at the phone as though he could find the location that way. He couldn't understand how Sam somehow slipped past him and tipped his head in confusion as the only thought came to mind. That one was impossible though.

"Sammy what the hell are you doing now a days?"

Sam bit his lip and wanted to tell him everything that was going on. He bet everything that his brother would be more surprised than any that Sam was stuck lying in bed until next week when the doctor was going to do a follow up appointment before even thinking of lifting the restriction. Meg and her rule abiding ways didn't leave out foot massages. Apparently she did him the best favor he could ask for and it meant more groveling was in order if he wanted to show how grateful he was. He was just glad Meg wasn't around right now though.

"I'm trying to keep myself out of the fight to tell you the truth Dean." It was and he knew that Dean was all about keeping him safe. He couldn't allow Dean to become hurt again.

"Right and you act like you're a burden Sam. You aren't! I am your brother and I love you okay." Dean leaned forward on the couch with the biggest smile playing on his lips since before Sam left. Damn, he loved his younger brother and the fact that he was safe was great. Awesome if he seemed to think about it. "If you get back here you could see Cas as well Sammy. I know how much you two look forward to your daily meetings-Sammy?"

"I'm here Dean. Sorry I'm just a little tired," Sam was panicking the fact that he almost allowed himself to tear up at that and decided that he had enough with those stupid crappy shows he often watched. They were poisoning his mind and he seemed to be crying more than he used to do on any given day and sometimes over something considered to be next to nothing. "I just need to rest a bit more and I'll be more than okay. I'm sorry I continue to worry you Dean-"

"Right and that is what is keeping you away Sammy?" Dean asked angrily. He couldn't help it but the fact that Sam went away without even worrying about himself was just so time consuming and crazy that he wanted to bang his head against a brick wall until the younger stubborn Winchester realized that he was being stupid. "I miss you more than anything I could even think about, even the Impala! Cas can't stop blaming himself for not being able to locate you Sam! He thinks it is his own damn fault and if anything, he is probably as much at fault as you are-"

"Why Dean?" Sam didn't want to jeopardize their relationship and he didn't want Dean hurt. Was that too much to ask? Dean would be miserable and Cas didn't even have any feelings for him. He was almost sorry that he even called Bobby today as well. "I'm not like you okay. I can't just keep boxing in my feelings and tell you it's alright. I can't let you continue to protect me if it causes you to die. You went to hell for me Dean-"

"And what about Cas?" Dean snapped, tired of all this mental draining shit. If Sam wanted to act like he was five then so be it because he was going to treat him like a fucking kid.

"I'm not following you Dean. Why would Cas even care? I'm the abomination, the one with the demon blood and the one that the angels warn him about. I was in cahoots with a demon and I was using my abilities to my advantage. I got arrogant and if I still feel guilty about it, it's easy to see that Cas would feel ten times the amount of blame. I can't stay around because I don't want the shame Dean."

Dean quickly cut in before Sam could continue.

"Sam Cas fucking loves you!"

Sam's heart caught in his throat at that and he found tears already blurring his vision at that statement alone. NO, NO, NO, and for a million times NO! It wasn't supposed to happen because Cas didn't want it to be that way. He made Sam promise him that everything they had would mean nothing and even though Sam didn't think so at the time, he promised Cas that he wouldn't think of it that way. Cas had loved Dean and they shared a deep bond. He shook his head in an attempt to erase the earlier words from his mind but he had no such luck. The words were seared there.

"He can't Dean, he can't. He just can't…" he kept mumbling and it was a wonder that Dean could even hear him after that.

The dial tone told Dean what he wanted to know though and he felt like he wanted to kill something now. Falling back, he gave Cas a dejected look but the angel already seemed to know. He nodded before there was a rustle of wings and he was gone. Dean always tried to keep people together even if it was brotherly or only by friendship. He could never keep Sam or his father from their fights either. Putting his head into his palms, he couldn't help but feel worse at a mixture of the crumbling look Cas had given him and Sam's shocked reaction to finding out that Cas had loved him. One thing was for certain though.

He should have never told Sam about Cas's feelings.

* * *

Sam threw up in the garbage near the very nice and elaborate mailbox design that Meg had set up. She had mentioned something about mailboxes being important and all that stuff but he didn't complain. They had a garbage can and a place for mail so he couldn't really find the room to. He groaned just thinking of how Cas must feel knowing what Sam knew he did now. He must be ashamed and it was all Sam's fault. He couldn't stay on bed rest when he needed a walk though and that much he knew for certain.

He leant against one of the walls when he got far enough away to even attempt to clear his head. Life was just so unfair. Turning to his cell phone, he thought of calling Cas back and telling him how sorry he was. How could he have done something like that to him? He lost his courage halfway through the familiar numbers and instead pressed Meg's in speed dial and waited with baited breath for her to answer.

"You better have that butt in bed or I will so kick it-"

Sam burst into tears, pathetically sobbing as he recounted everything Dean had told him as well as leaning on the smooth brick wall behind him. This was Clarissa's shop and he didn't know when he had gotten through to the back way but he knew she hadn't liked trespassers. Meg had told him it was because she was a Satan worshipping witch and he never thought to go near her before now. He put his hand on his swollen gut, just sniffling as he waited for Meg to reply to him after all that he had told her. The demon was silent for a moment and he wondered what it was that she was doing.

"Sam I'm really sorry to say this but you are one dumb mother fucker if you honestly think there's something wrong with that angel falling in love with you. You have got to be even more messed up if you think that Dean would say that if he had such a problem with Cas loving you instead of him."

"I take so much of his Meg, I can't take this. Not this Meg," Sam was back to shaking his head as sobs racked through his body. "Meg all Dean ever does is give."

Meg seemed to sigh on the phone and Sam tried to keep himself under control, racking sobs and all. He didn't mean to be a mess especially with the developing baby already making him a horrendous mess as it was. He couldn't see what good it was going to do him though. He was definitely not doing okay right now though.

"Please tell me you are at least nearby," she finally said with a sigh. "I know I can't convince you to at least give the feelings a chance because you honestly don't love that angel-"

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief. "If the other angels hadn't stuck their nose in, I'd probably let Cas know how much I truly felt for him. In fact it was Uriel who set me straight."

"That's a boy then. Prove to those humongous big heads that you won't stand down for the one love you truly feel okay? I got to go but you need to get back to the apartment until your next appointment remember? I told him I'd feed you nothing but fish if you escaped and I'm letting this one go specifically because you are in the bad need of someone to care right now. So get and I don't want to find you out of the apartment again-"

Sam happened to get out of the way in time for the demise of his phone but seeing three big bad demons and having nothing to protect him was bad. He couldn't lie to himself. He backed up as the demons smugly cornered him before he realized that he could see their true forms. He flinched realizing that Cas had been right and that the true form of a demon was indeed ugly. He slept with one of that, he thought in terror.

"I'm not doing anything-"

He was pushed back against the wall and one of them pulled him into a bruising kiss which ended in confusion as his hands wandered feeling up his body. It was no surprise that he found the baby bump. Sam looked even more stricken when the demons looked at him in surprised shock at the fact alone before pushing him back up against the wall to where his feet were practically dangling, scraping against the ground in an attempt to stand on even ground. The pregnancy already wasn't easy and he had such horrible vertigo for what seemed like every other day.

"When did you get knocked up Winchester?" Sam flinched against the harsh accusation but continued to try to fight the rising nausea.

"My best bud asked you the question. You ever hear of Thor right? We could release him into this nicely inhabited town until you tell me what it is you did!" Sam found it hard to breath when one of them started to close in on his trachea. Groaning in pain, he tried to pry his hands off of him and even tried to push his face away, still struggling to get down.

The flash was a surprise not only for Sam but for the other two as well. Looking dumbfounded for a moment, the demons now looked worried that they messed with someone they shouldn't have. They weren't stupid, they knew only an angel could use that kind of power and with what the Winchester did, they could deduce that the baby was obviously of at least some angelic origin.

"Wait, I didn't-"

"Dude, we don't mess with no angels. An angel has his claim on you so we aren't going to mess with that."

"Well isn't that what you boys should have thought of before you went and tried to attack him?" They stared in awe but Meg just made a sound that sounded distinguishably like a small tut whilst crossing her arms and smirking. "You boys ought to know that we can't let you go since nobody is supposed to know about the little angel hybrid yet, daddy included on that one. You know how angels are, especially when the baby has more powers than most of their garrison."

Sam took the hint and quickly put both palms against the demons foreheads. He watched the flash and saw them go down in an instant before going down himself. Meg lost her smirk then and watched as Sam's face turned grey. He quickly leaned into the side and began to retch, bringing up more blood than she had seen him expel so far. It lasted a shorter period though for which the demon was grateful for.

Being careful not to come into contact with his hands and more specifically his palms, she helped him up and almost yelped when he pulled her into a tight hug. It didn't work. She saw no bright light or anything glowing from his palms and let out a sigh of relief letting him tighten his hands around her waist. Apparently the baby was a fair judge and declaring herself protector of the baby made the little kiddo pick out only the ones that actually brought harm on the one carrying the little brute.

She let out a smile at that thought.

"Your baby is going to be a brat. A good brat I think but a brat nonetheless."

Sam nodded looking at her in thought. She helped him along, seeing as he was too weak to walk by himself right now. He stumbled occasionally even when she was supporting most of his body weight and that was what worried her the most. She remembered telling him that she was happy that he was carrying the baby full term but that was before she truly realized how much hell someone went through something like this. There had to be a reason angels were told it wasn't advisable and she was finally seeing that. How much of a risk was his life going to be when he finally pushed that baby out?

Until that time came, she could only wonder.

* * *

Sam was restless.

Meg had tried to replenish the loss of blood through food and fluids but he wasn't very hungry during dinner nor did he seem to want to do anything else now that he knew that the baby was giving him the abilities that he had only seen from the angels. Meg couldn't blame him to a certain extent but she knew he was acting stupid if he thought he could continue to hide a baby this powerful from those that would want to exploit it.

She watched as he shivered next to her in the bed and hesitantly placed a hand on his forehead trying to determine if he was feverish. He was still so very pale and sweaty but a fever was absent. She brought it down and sighed for what seemed the umpteenth time that day. She allowed him to cuddle up to her and went to switch on the television. She was going to have a nice twelve hours or however many hours he chose to sleep and she didn't want him to think that she wouldn't be interested in anything he would say later. He was the kind of person that needed to talk about things before they got out of hand.

"Cas," Sam moaned in his sleep and Meg was so shocked that she dropped the remote. She didn't snatch it up again like she usually would though and instead watched how he seemed to be fighting whatever demons he was dealing with in his sleep and the hopes of it being peaceful any time soon were doubtful.

"Why the hell do you Winchesters have to get the bad luck of the draw?" She asked the sleeping figure as he moaned and tossed and turned several times in fact without even answering her. She hadn't expected him to but the idea that he was dreaming about something that had to do with Cas was enlightening. At least she knew that he did indeed care for the one that had a hand in the creation of the bun currently residing in his oven.

"Cas," he moaned again and Meg raised an eyebrow, scooping him over to her and holding him tightly although she wouldn't normally be caught doing this. What the hell? She really didn't want to force herself to act like a bridge for this Winchester to get over but this truce was letting her become more humane in the last month than she had in her whole lifetime as a demon. Sam shook and she held onto him tightly.

"What would keep you from being a nuisance so that both you and baby could sleep?" she wondered out loud.

She was in for a an even bigger shock when Sam started to mumble what seemed like full sentences over and over again in what seemed to be a repetition. She almost couldn't hear it and when she could, she was sure the devil's heart would have broken at what was being uttered.

"Don't, please don't Cas, don't hate me. I didn't mean, I'm sorry," Sam was mumbling it like his life depended on it and she could only tighten the hold she had on him when she felt the sudden movement and jumped a little ways away.

Sam was up too but he wasn't scared or even frowning for that matter and Meg didn't even know what it was until Sam had guided her hand to his abdomen and she felt the tiny kick residing there. So that was what a baby felt like when it kicked, she thought in bewilderment. Thousands of years as a demon and she never even felt something this wonderful before. It made her reconsider the process of how a baby came into the world. Was it a miracle or not? She still didn't know but this thing was proving to be amazing.

"The baby is kicking up a storm and I can actually feel it," Sam told her, sleep still evident in his voice, but he sounded happy and not depressed like he had been in his sleep. "Do you think my brother or maybe Cas would have liked this?"

Meg honestly didn't know but judging on how much she knew that Dean cared for Sam and the fact that the angel hadn't given up looking for him in the hopes of finding him as soon as he could gave her the possibility of what she could only think they would feel. She smiled after a moment and nodded.

"Dean loves you Sam and you are having a baby. His baby brother is having a baby, when is that not special and as for Cas. If he hasn't stopped turning up stones just to look for you then a baby is going to make him happier than he could even imagine."

Sam smiled and snuggled back down to sleep some more. He was a little less pale but the nightmares were still bothering and she knew it. She knew that she couldn't just let this go either even if she had to go meet with them and just drop hints for them until they found him. He needed to see that his family cared about him a lot no matter what happened.

"Cas can never hate you big boy, he loves you too much to even let you go."

She was pretty sure she whispered that when she was pretty sure that he was fast asleep. She never even believed that he would have heard it. It made no difference though.

He was still under the notion that Cas would really hate him when he found out. There's no way he would be happy in knowing that he was going to be a daddy to such a baby.

He couldn't because angel hybrids weren't supposed to have a soul and he had said as much.

* * *

A/N: Ruby's role is going to become more prominent. Right now like in the series, she comes across as the good guy but she only cares about Lucifer's rising at the expense of anyone else.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Meg was glad when the restrictions were lifted and Sam had free reign again. He was a pain in the ass enough without them but it just got depressing having to listen to him tell himself the reasons he shouldn't call his brother despite the fact that he wanted his younger brother to call him. He was busy probably doing what she told him not to which came to mean he was gulping down that gallon of sweet tea that he had had a craving for all morning. Since she wasn't in the house anymore though having reminded him of her little mission of going undercover, he was most likely doing whatever he wanted to do.

Spotting the angel and the elder Winchester wasn't hard. They were kind of obvious around there but he wasn't going to let them know that . She'd let the Winchester keep his pride for a few moments longer. She slid into the seat across from them and watched their mixed reactions. Cas instantly knew she was a demon and glared luminously at her whilst Dean seemed to look confused at first before finding out what Cas was glaring for and then he settled for joining in that.

"What big boys, you don't recognize me for who I truly am? I'm starting to see why Sam is the smart one now-"

"Meg? What the hell are you doing here knowing I could kill you at any time?" She smirked seeing that he was still hesitating and moved the sunglasses to the top of her head. She couldn't imagine them being in a park with all those kids there and having a picnic so she looked around until her eyes fell on what looked like a drug deal gone wrong. She rolled her eyes at the thought of Ruby actually being followed by this duo that weren't exactly hidden from public view. Maybe that was the idea because they knew that she wouldn't think that they were watching her if they were here sulking.

"I could say the same thing about you boys. I mean following Ruby is one thing but she ain't stupid. And if anything she is talking to Thor about something evidentially about something relevant like, I don't know, the prophecy that they believe so much in."

Cas looked at her in question and even Dean stopped what he was doing to watch her warily. Meg smirked, stopping when her phone shrilled loudly. She quickly answered it, swearing when she realized who it was. Sam had to go and down the whole thing when she told him not to and now she was going to have to suffer through his complaints and whining.

"You'll have to excuse me, someone I view as a sibling is having a baby and they didn't exactly listen to me exactly when I said not to chug a full carton of sweet tea."

Dean looked like he wanted to say something to that but Meg ignored him for the time being and snapped the phone open to answer with a hey. Dean and Cas watched her carefully so she made sure she was a safe distance away from their ears.

"Didn't I tell you that a carton was a little too much even if you were trying to win something by downing the whole thing in thirty minutes? Or was it longer? Maybe a little less? Doesn't matter, I tell you something like this because I know the outcome Sammy boy not because I'm being a mean evil bitch and saying that you can't have it. You do realize that right?"

"My stomach hurts," came the expected wail.

She rolled her eyes and heard the mistakable sound of vomiting. She wondered if all pregnancies made them that dramatic but then again he was always a little on the dramatic side. He actually ate healthy before he got knocked up which was why Dr. Rosen even considered taking him on as a patient in the first place. If he had been obese and out of shape, she knew he wouldn't have bothered. Plus Sam really cared about this baby.

"Well that's what you get for guzzling all that tea, sweetened or not," she said triumphantly. "Means you will listen to me in the future right?"

Sam groaned and Meg laughed at the thought of him thinking of covering his ears and wondering if he could muster up enough energy to do just that. She was sure that it was a girl because a boy wouldn't cause this much trouble but then again, there was nothing more troublesome than the Winchester boys.

"I think I should call the doctor just to be on the safe side, is the doctor's number still on the fridge?"

Meg seriously wondered how these boys survived all these years. Even their dad had to have had some dumb as a rock moments but she truly wondered if it was because of the pregnancy that he was more spaced out lately or the complications that were coming with it. She wasn't going to pretend that she wasn't worried when she knew what was going to happen the farthest along he got. She wished he would become smart and see the angel because for all they knew, he could die after the birth of this extraordinary baby and then what would happen then? He couldn't protect the baby and Cas probably wouldn't want something to remind him of why Sam wasn't with them.

"It's on the fridge. Call and ask him. Get the advice and call me back, okay? I'm sure you're just as important as any mission."

She snapped the phone closed and went back to the table with a sweet smile on her face. If she knew better she would say that their determination to catch Ruby in the act was stupid. She wouldn't do that with them nearby unless she was really stupid and until the point that Sam stopped guzzling the blood, he was sold as well.

"So your friend has baby problems?" Dean asked and Meg sighed. Why did they have to be so nosy? But then again she wanted them to be this time around so that she could leave the clues that she wanted them to find. Sam was already in his twenty fifth week and every other day it seemed the bigger he got, the more blood he was losing through the abilities the baby would use to help him out.

"Yeah, you could say that. He's very stubborn so what could you do."

Dean raised an eyebrow at that.

"He? Well he's gotta have the best support he could get and I don't think you're doing him a favor by being at his beck and call."

"It's a difficult pregnancy and he needs blood transfusions every time he goes for a routine checkup so I think my spoiling him is the least I could do. Besides it's not really his fault he fell in love with a dick that he doesn't know loves him back."

Dean snorted.

"Yeah well tell him to get over it and tell the guy how he feels. If he waits then the guy won't forgive him when he finds out and then you would be stuck with a bunch more complications then, 'oh yeah, last time we fucked you knocked me up and I still think there is no possibility of your liking me so I kept it a secret.' That is going to cause a down spiral on everything and it looks like he is already having issues with the baby. I wouldn't deal with a difficult pregnancy but if he thinks he could outweigh the outcome then more power to him."

Meg smirked.

"Well it's more complicated than that you see. I really think he should reconsider an early C-section since we all know how complicated it could become-"

Dean nodded.

"Tell your friend I will be willing to have a grown talk with him and that I have a younger brother so we could talk about-Meg you aren't dropping clues or something are you? I mean my brother had freaking sex with an angel and all of a sudden I hear that you are friends with someone that is having a difficult pregnancy-"

"Why would I clue you into anything?" She asked. "I'm a family friend anyways and the parents had always wanted a girl. Guess they were tired of all the boys in their lives."

Dean rolled his eyes at the thought of Meg actually saying something like that but Cas had been silent the whole time and offered up nothing to the conversation so far. He was watching Ruby enthusiastically and Meg could only wonder why. It became apparent though when she turned around and Meg quickly swore. Thor was with her and it looked like he had a tight hold on her elbow. She hated Ruby even more now and could only hope that there were no more demons hanging around the day that Sam exorcised the three.

The phone rang once again and Meg quickly answered it, ignoring Ruby for the time being and watched as Cas ever so slightly watched her from the corner of his eyes.

"Doctor said to see him? Well you are throwing up and you are twenty five weeks today. No I am not going to go with you right now, I'm busy asking stupid questions to save your miserable ass." She didn't look annoyed though and that was something that Dean would ever think he would see. She seemed fond of the person and he honestly wondered who she was talking to now. The one that could do that had to have been a Godsend. "Yeah, I'll be there for your appointment in a month in a half when you become eight months. Your six and no I'm going to be undercover for that. Because I said so now stop being annoying and go check it out at the doctor's. I doubt Dr. Rosen would be happy if you showed up late and he had to reschedule you since he would like to see you as soon as he can. Then go, I'm not stopping you. Fine, I'll see you when I see you big boy."

She hung up but before she closed it, Dean saw the name S. Winston and wondered who that could be. He didn't exactly get along with Meg so she could have a bunch of friends for all he knew. Cas eyed her as though he could see right through her and Meg mentally shivered hoping that the baby didn't get his piercing calculating blue eyes. It would be bad enough with the puppy eyed look that the baby was obviously already going to have. It was inevitable and he doubt anyone would argue that the denial would be a moot point.

"I have to go boys, I'll see you later-"

"Wait you can't just come and go without giving us something. You wanted to see us and you chose what you said for some specific reason. What the hell is it and why? Why would you help us when you could burn us like you've done a million of times before? I'm not buying it and neither is Cas for that chance either. Tell me where Sam is if you know. Please you have got to know something."

"Who says I know anything about Sam?" Meg said with irritation in her voice now. Cas didn't change his expression and Meg had a feeling she'd have to watch for him in the future. Sure the baby and Sam wouldn't exactly want her dead anymore but that didn't mean that these two would reconsider just because she had been looking out for one of their own. "I'm going to see what Thor is doing here exactly and being a demon means I could get away with a lot of things-"

"Have fun but I seem to think that like Ruby, you are doing something that you might not like," Dean quickly let her know.

"Really?" Meg seemed to think that maybe the elder brother wasn't as stupid as she first thought. Maybe that was why so many others had underestimated them before in the past. Hell even she did and it ended in her getting exorcised in the past as well. It wasn't going to happen again though and she was pretty sure that whatever she was doing wasn't as horrible as the alternative. "What makes you think I'm regretting something?"

"You have done nothing but mentioned people for the last half hour like you really want us to go there. What are you trying to get us to find out? You think that us finding this out would help you in anything? I'm sorry but you're a demon and we could never know if this is a trap or not."

"Well it looks like you will just have to see, now would ya?" She asked him cryptically before running off in the direction of Ruby. She had to find out what they knew before she could determine how safe Sam was. She wasn't going to let harm's way come to him though and for that, she regretted not giving them anymore to go on.

She really wanted them to know the whole situation though. It wasn't like she meant for them to take it as a trap, even when she dropped hints on Sam's whereabouts several times.

She would just have to hope they got what she was trying to say without actually saying it.

* * *

"Cas we don't have time for this," Uriel told him angrily.

Cas shrugged but followed him another millimeter wondering why the hell the angel had called him in the first place. He must have been going crazy with worry over Sam and the other angel must have picked up on it since he snorted and looked disgusted by it.

"You do realize that we have more things to worry about. There's an angel in Lakeview Illinois. We found three demons exorcised the way an angel would have done it and I think it trumps over your search for the pathetic human any day. Do you realize what this could mean?"

"Another angel with a God complex vendetta?" Cas asked emotionlessly. "I don't honestly care about that Uriel. I didn't want to come to care either but you know how things like that go."

"I don't actually and the fact that you are annoying me with such banter isn't wise. Don't you realize you are getting really close to the mud monkeys and it will destroy you in the end? You could join my front though Cas, what do you say? I know you really want to find the Winchester but we have to find the prophesied baby soon before it is lost forever. We have had the occasional hybrid baby but none of them has ever turned out to be anything and you know that. What makes you think a righteous Winchester is going to make a difference? We need them and we also need Lucifer around-"

"What? I think Lucifer should stay in the box-"

Uriel smirked and mustered up a big oops before Cas found himself flying backwards into a heap. He quickly backed away, staring at the angel sword in his hand if that gave off any indication of what his intentions were. He smirked realizing what Cas could only see as betrayal.

"You don't care about what we're trying to do Castiel? You used to care about the orders-"

"They aren't coming from God anymore brother," Cas quickly argued.

"Moot point. Lucifer was right Castiel. What did these humans ever do to get their father's blessings and love? We are the ones he made first and he holds them above us! We the angels that have been nothing but loyal to him."

"Why the hell would you want a hybrid to bring along Lucifer?" Cas questioned confusedly. He didn't understand what the baby's purpose was but he was sure it was nothing evil.

"Powerful baby with more powers in its little pinky than in our whole bodies. I know that you don't think so Castiel but this baby is a force to be reckoned with and will be rightfully sacrificed for the forthcoming of Lucifer. I don't know what more I could tell you and now I think it's time to say goodbye. You'll never join my cause but you also can't go around telling everybody what my plans are."

Cas saw the angel blade that sliced into Uriel before the angel could even turn around. Anna stepped away and helped Cas to his feet but he could only think of one thing. Why the hell would Uriel do something like this and if he was wanting that to happen, that meant that the baby was going to be in danger if they were ever born. He closed his eyes hoping that would never come to pass and paused, seeing that Anna was still there.

"Are you okay Cas? I know that you don't like this anymore than I do but we can't let him go around trying to kill small kids and infants just in the name of the devil."

Cas nodded.

"I understand. I really do. I just realized that any baby that would be in the middle of that would have a cursed life and would never rest as long as both angels and demons want it."

"I'm sure if you were its dad Cas, you'd do one hell of a great job. Even if it's only trying," she added and Cas saw the smile for what it was worth.

"Thanks Anna."

She truly was too kind sometimes. And it was times like this that reminded him of how he longed for Sam the most. Anna seemed to understand that as well for she continued with a small grin.

"you'll find him. I know you and when you do you'll love him. I know that as well."

"You become psychic now as well?"

Anna just went on smiling. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to tell and Cas wasn't going to ask.

* * *

Sam quickly hid from view of the demons, keeping himself pressed against the wall as far as he could without being seen. He hated the fact that his stomach was sticking out more than usual but he was twenty eight weeks and the baby was still growing. To his surprise it was Ruby and she was surrounded by a couple of them who seemed more than ready to kill her.

He simply turned the other way to avoid the confrontation it would cause if they were to see him. He entered the small department store and called Meg, hoping that she got the message that he was stuck in the building until they decided to disperse but she wasn't answering her phone. So much for the undercover thing, he thought with a slight sigh. The doctor wanted to take a scalpel and cut the baby out of him right now saying there was very little risk but Sam knew that he had to bring the baby to full term if he wanted the baby the full one hundred percent chance of ever surviving. His body would tell him when he was ready for the kid to come along so he avoided the subject as much as possible. Dr. Rosen was turning out to be a really weird dude. Last month he didn't but things changed he supposed and he would have to hope that if he turned to another doctor that he wouldn't go through with his threat.

The phone rang and he answered it, happy that it was Meg.

"You can't stay out of danger for even a minute, can you?" She sounded more amused than angry so he disregarded what was said.

"I don't know, I am not in danger yet."

"We need to leave there. Too many demons and angels are there meaning that they will eventually find out that you are carrying that special baby," she told him hurriedly.

"What do they want my baby for anyways?" Sam asked her and was surprised with the silence that greeted him. "Meg? Come on I'm not going to be mad. I just want to know how they could possibly think that they could justify wanting to take a baby-"

"Sam you are familiar with Lucifer right?"

Sam nodded and quickly replied with a, "Yes," when he realized that she wouldn't be able to see him. She wasn't that great of a mind reader even though she seemed to know things before he said them.

"They want him topside Sam. Demons and even some angels," she added and Sam found himself stopping in shock.

They wanted his baby for the devil? He couldn't believe they would want to take anything so innocent just to retrieve someone so evil that they had to be in a cage. He shuddered and could hear Meg's concerned voice through the phone. He couldn't say he was happy that his baby was a target but he was happy that she told him the truth. He would rather know than find out from other sources or means.

"Thanks Meg," he choked finding that once again, he probably wasn't processing the information like he should. "I really needed..uh….that."

"Sam breathe for goodness sake! Take your shirt and put it over your nose and mouth if you have to but you have to breathe!"

Sam even though he felt himself going dizzy and could have fainted if he wasn't caught at the last moment. He looked up in shock and Meg was screaming in his ear as he tried to process that information. What the hell was he-

"I'm sure he's going to be fine. Just a surprisingly close reunion and you know how the saying goes right? What doesn't break you makes you stronger. Your apartment would be the place to meet so make sure we meet there in the next five minutes, alright."

He put the phone in Sam's pocket after ending the call and Sam let him, still spluttering on the idea of HIM helping them. He looked at him in shocked silence for a few more moments before trying to muster up the words.

"Well you are sure a man of less words these days. Was it because you let Cas knock you up or is this a new way of saying screw you for making you watch Dean die?"

"Why," Sam finally asked. "Why are you, the trickster, helping someone like me?"

The trickster only smiled and with a snap of his fingers, Sam found himself back at the apartment with the said trickster looking slightly amused. Sam fell back on the couch and could only look at him in silent awe. After a moment the trickster sighed.

"Let's just say that I hate choosing sides and yours at least seems to have an in between. That and Cas loves you so why not. It would make my day teasing Cassy."

"Why," Sam wheezed and the trickster sighed before pulling him forward so he would breath more steadily.

"Because I can."

And that was the only answer he was going to get.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Twelve

"You know I am really sick of Sammy not calling and I can bet that I know why he isn't," Dean told him angrily after wiping blood and guts from his jacket disgustedly.

Cas didn't say anything but just stood there watching him try to clear the junk from his jacket. He couldn't agree more that something caused his brother to feel spooked enough not to be here but Cas also knew that it was more than that. He never did tell the younger Winchester that he loved him and Sam most likely felt that he had feelings for his older brother. He rather thought that Dean was being too nice to him knowing all this now.

"Cas we're probably going to have to clean clothes and that means you'll have to get out of that trench coat for once-"

"I like this trench coat," Cas quickly retaliated.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Of course you do but nobody else is going to like it if you have guts and blood all over it. I know that we never expected that demon to explode from the inside out but it did and that means we have to clean everything that the flying parts came into contact with. Here I have some clothes that you can borrow until we have it cleaned."

Cas looked from the clothes that Dean was holding out to him and decided he probably should just do what he said. He was about to slip out of his clothes when Dean threw a towel at him as well and pointed to the bathroom. He almost forgot that he meant he had to be clean and took everything with him to the bathroom.

Standing under the faucet though, he began to think about everything that happened. He didn't expect to fall in love with Sam, he hadn't even tried but now he couldn't imagine even a day without the younger Winchester and that was happening now. He grabbed a bottle labeled shampoo and squirted some into his hand. His knowledge of humans were limited and yet he knew some of what they did including the act of taking a shower. He let the shampoo rinse out of his hair, grabbing the body wash and doing the same thing.

He used the towel to dry himself off and dressed into the clothes that Dean had lent him. He sighed before handing Dean his dirty clothes who in return threw it into the pile of dirty clothes respectfully. Cas tipped his head sideways trying to see what Dean was so mad about until he looked over and saw some newscast about some apartment building in Lake View Illinois being blown apart. He sighed and quickly saw the look of terror on Dean's face. He once again felt a tiny amount of the terror that was on Dean's face wondering what this was all about.

"Cas Sam was in Lake View. That is the only thing Bobby admitted to when I asked him and he told me to give Sam time-He told me that Sam would come to us when he was ready. He, um, I better call Bobby."

Cas looked over to the television and couldn't help but wonder what it was that made him feel like his chest was on fire once again. It happened once before when Sam had ran off. He really hoped it wasn't Sam in there and looked over to Dean who was conversing with Bobby rather deeply. Cas bet that Bobby was going to use the word idjit at least once in the conversation but otherwise didn't speak up.

According to the newscaster, there had been a great big explosion and then half the neighborhood lit up in white light before the specific apartment building that was now up in flames had exploded. Cas felt himself freeze at that. There were only certain things specifically able to do that and they were angels. What were angels doing there anyways? He tipped his head sideways and tried to get a better view of the said apartment when Dean hung up with a relieved sigh.

"Bobby says that Sam called two hours ago and said he was fine and not in Illinois. Bobby doesn't know where he is anymore but the fact of the matter being right now that he isn't there."

Cas nodded distractedly and ignored Dean's questioning look.

"I have to talk to someone but I think an angel has been there," Cas answered truthfully and Dean blanched.

"What the hell man? What do you mean there was an angel there? Don't walk away when I'm talking to you-"

"Dean," Cas interrupted looking far too annoyed than Dean ever felt was possible for the angel. "This is getting really serious. Did you know that that old cult of demons have awakened and are trying to put an end to the earth as we know it? The angels are trying to stop the demons but how could they? They don't know if there is a child yet and if it is good or evil. Evil would mean it either has no soul or it's a demon and good would mean a soulful child but then the parent in question is guaranteed to die even if it isn't by another's hands-"

"Why? Why does the parent have to die in order for the child to be born? You said it yourself Cas. You didn't want to have a child but what does it matter to you if a soulful child is born? Do you not care about this at all? That is somebody's relative that may be carrying a child that would land them dead!"

"Angels aren't meant to be born from humans and half angels are the same. They have power beyond anyone's knowledge and their sheer power alone will kill anyone who carries them for a long period of time. I don't know what to tell you but I'm glad I don't have any heirs. It would mean true and utter chaos."

"What if Sam were to become like this? He wouldn't just kill an innocent baby because you told him too and he'd more than likely-"

"Die. I'm glad that you see things my way," Cas retorted dryly. "Angels aren't meant to reproduce."

Dean finally nodded.

"Go see what you could find out but don't take too long. We need to find Sam before the demons get to him. You hear me?"

"Sam is safe wherever he is. He's in hiding. I think we should deal with the demon problem first and then we could find Sam."

Dean nodded once again.

"Okay, but regardless of what we decide, get back here."

With a flap of his wings, Cas was no longer here. Dean sighed and wondered if his brother would ever call. He could use the reassurance from him rather than Bobby that he was indeed alright. Whatever the cause though, he had a feeling that he was slowly losing his brother and he could tell that Cas could feel that too.

It would explain the angel's moodiness lately.

* * *

"Nice work with my apartment by the way. I see all demons within a hundred radius of that got flambéed," Meg retorted dryly.

Sam looked like he was going to interrupt them but the trickster just laughed as though it was a huge joke. Sam rolled his eyes and took a seat, holding his belly when it started to ache again. He got a lot of upper stomach cramps nowadays and periods where he had to even force himself to eat even though his stomach felt full each and every time. He gently rolled onto his side and tried to watch the ping ball match that was Meg and the trickster but found himself getting too drowsy.

He woke up thirty minutes later to only the trickster being there and having seen his Cheshire grin a little too much, Sam wondered what he was getting up to. He groaned when he moved to fast, feeling the pain lingering in his abdomen and tried to cover it up with a blank mask. The trickster obviously wasn't stupid though.

"So from what I hear and see, you are going to be one of those useless live incubators for the part angel child." Sam blinked, not fully hearing what he said other than baby and incubator which he found oddly offensive.

"I'm not an incubator, I'm just trying to keep her alive long enough that she stands a fighting chance," Sam half realized that he was using she and her instead of he/she and him/her but found that it didn't matter much anymore. He knew what the pains along his stomach meant and he knew that with every little amount of the baby's ability that he used, the more he found himself throwing up blood or even coughing it up in small rivulets at a time.

"When the baby's born you do realize your heart is going to stop right? Your heart which is pumping all that blood for you to get the oxygenated blood through your system and to your brain which would kill you unless you somehow had something that could be considered miraculous and could help you out of it. You signed your own death certificate with this one mutton head. You don't feel sorry for this either do you?"

"No I don't. I love this kid no matter what happens to me. It wasn't exactly made out of love but the kid is mine and is in my body. It's my choice to have this kid and my decision on when and how I have it-"

"Great then maybe you could make me the Godparent so that when you die you could give me all rights to the child. You honestly aren't going to survive this."

The trickster didn't seem too happy about that surprisingly and Sam fought to ask why he would be but changed his mind halfway through.

"Only if Castiel doesn't want the kid. If my brother and his angel decide not to keep her then you could have her. I'll make you her God father." He knew it didn't seem like a good idea but the trickster did save him from the demons as well as Meg did. She deserved props too. He already knew she would be a good aunt for this baby.

"Great so you promise everything you say is true?" The trickster continued to ask. Sam nodded. He wasn't lying and he felt grateful the trickster was helping him. The last time he saw him, he was killing Dean a hundred times on Tuesday but he got that there was some kind of lesson there that he was supposed to be learning. He just didn't understand it still and knowing the trickster wasn't as cruel as he made himself out to be now made his decision easier. "You're an idiot! A humungous careless idiot! Why don't you care Sammy? It's your life and yet you don't seem to care what you going would mean to your family! You are selfish!"

He quickly put his hands up in warning and Sam quickly shut up.

"Selfish because you are only thinking about the baby and I know that seems contradictory but you don't care about what happens to you or how they would feel seeing you go. You don't care that your brother would rather go to Hell again than to see his younger brother die just to save a baby you have never met before-"

"But I can feel her! I know her heart is beating and that she is moving inside of me. She kicks every day and the more days she is in there the more I love her. Are you saying that I have to actually see something to love them so much and would do anything for? That's not true. You could go your whole life and feel like you love somebody but it only takes one thing for you to be changed for life. Before this happened I was only concerned about getting revenge because of Lilith. I don't want that anymore, I want to live. I do and it does scare me when I think about how Dean will feel and how everyone would be if I don't survive but this is my whole reason for giving up on revenge and changing for the better. I love this baby and there is nothing I would not do for it even if the one I love tells me to get rid of it I won't!"

The trickster was silent for a moment and then he hesitantly put his hand on Sam's outstretched stomach. He froze wondering what he was going to do but the trickster just started moving his hand around as though he was looking for something. The kick got a gasp out of him and Sam released a startled laugh making the trickster look at him in surprise.

"I know you don't like what I'm going to say because you have a special one in here but in the end it's the special things that kill you right? I am only telling you this because it is true though. Listen and listen well. If you want to continue with this dangerous pregnancy I would get back with the one that helped make 'her'. Be with him while you can and no matter what, if you think all this is worth it in the end, don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. Not even the other daddy. Make him see how special this is too. But be with the people you love okay? Meet back up with them before this little one is even born. When is that going to be anyways?"

"When she's ready," Sam finally said blinking at the tears that was surprisingly in his eyes. "I don't want her to die and I don't want to but if it came to a choice, I would rather it be her that lives."

The trickster finally nodded, making eye contact with him at last.

"I wouldn't think about that right now. Just stay healthy okay?"

Sam nodded and felt the trickster back away. Maybe it wouldn't be so great the day the baby was born but letting himself smile a little, he knew her birth would be worth it. He would love to finally meet her and if he had to die, he'd rather do it knowing that he got to see her. Suddenly he sat up and eyed the trickster who was looking away and came to an understanding.

"Hey could an angel heal any complication that came along? Could they keep me from dying-"

"So you going to spend time with the boyfriend?" the trickster said with a sardonic grin.

Sam blinked.

He didn't know how the hell the trickster knew he had even been with an angel.

"How'd you know I was-"

"Like I said, it's called none of your business." Sam rolled his eyes and laid on his side and felt his eye lids become heavy. He needed to get some sleep anyways and he was too tired to deal with all the sarcasm that the trickster doled out.

"Also there's the because I can notion. You get that? I can do whatever I want. Now go to sleep and stop bugging me with useless questions."

Sam found himself already in the midst of falling asleep. Hearing the trickster's own way of showing concern, he let himself smile.

If it was a girl, he was going to name her Faith. Faith was what he was running on and would be perfect for the little angel. With that in mind he finally drifted off.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

The scene was horrendous and it looked worse than on television but Cas should have listened when Dean said that they make things look a different way on TV. Either they didn't want to show all this to children or they were waiting for someone to know the scene to truly get them in the act of the crime. He glanced around not seeing anything indicating blood or anything here but he could sense that it was more aiming for outside within the one hundred mile radius than in here anyways. It just happened to blow this place up.

He sighed realizing it had been a total of eighteen weeks and four days since he had last seen Sam. He didn't see anything here but he did see another angel got the same idea and had decided to check out the scene as well.

"What the is going on here Zachariah?"

"This place is totaled and the demons around here have been exorcised making me believe it was another angel doing this. We don't let ourselves get known and we were almost exploited on national television. Next we are going to be told that the demon blood sucker is knocked up. We need to control our priorities and find what is going on here but that's what we are doing. I have a special job for you Castiel."

Cas nodded and the angel went on.

"There's a band of angels in Oklahoma and Florida. I need them to be questioned as to who these demon cult members are. We have a mystical baby coming and I hear we don't have long before it comes. You are willing to do anything to get what I ask done, right?"

Cas nodded again and watched as Zachariah seemed to find the fact that he was above him endearing. Everyone was afraid of Zachariah but then again, ever since he realized his feelings for Sam, hardly anything mattered. Not the angels above him nor did his goal of bringing on the appending apocalypse. He knew it was only going to happen if Sam did what they wanted and they couldn't if they couldn't find Sam which was odd if he thought about it. He used to be able to tell where he was even when he was with Dean.

"Sam Winchester isn't playing into our hands anymore. This is odd. You'd think he'd go after the demon responsible for the trip his brother took to hell. I mean if I was him, I would want to go after her. It would be far more easier for Lucifer to purge the demons if he were released. What is gonna happen before now? We don't know but it doesn't say if they would go away if the baby were to be born-"

"I think that Sam Winchester is out of this equation," Cas admitted bracing himself for Zachariah's anger. "He hasn't been thinking about it for such a long time and I don't blame him for not seeking revenge. It is rather nasty-"

"Michael is gearing to make it happen. What do you think is gonna happen if the apocalypse doesn't happen? Where is that going to leave us? We can't just think to do anything stupid Cas!"

"If it is causing our brothers and sisters to die then I could live without it," Cas explained calmly. "I guess that means I should question these demons and hope that I find Sam Winchester before anything would happen."

"That would be wise," Zachariah told him angrily.

"While it would, it wouldn't tell us anything new," The new voice had Cas whipping his head around to reveal Anna who had threaded her hands through the pockets of her jeans and Zachariah didn't know if he was pleased that she came along or upset that she had evaded capture for so long. "We have the baby and I think if you want to actually believe in the prophecy, it will be born in the summer of this year."

"What makes you think so girl? The prophecy didn't make sense and it could be a demon for all we know-"

Anna interrupted once again.

"It says things that are clear. It will be born under a blue moon most likely and you don't think that it won't be special? It will take an abomination and one of the fallen to make the baby. The abomination could mean Sam Winchester but what definition would mean fallen? Fallen angel perhaps. It would make them fallen if they fell in love without meaning to and made a powerful baby –"

"Which isn't happening. Me make Sam pregnant? Tthat would stupid and would result in him dying-"

"He'd die anyways if a demon would have went and knocked him up but it would take only four months and the demon spawn would kill him. He won't necessarily die if it was your child Cas-"

"I won't even put my enemy through that. Angels shouldn't breed-"

"What he says is true and we will find out if that is what happened." Zachariah dismissed and Anna sighed giving Cas a wary look which he ignored.

Once Zachariah left, Anna turned to him and glared.

"When was the last time you saw him anyways Cas? You love him and I can see why you would be angry if that were to happen because you would have been none the wiser but a baby is supposed to be a blessing-"

"Not if the baby would go on to kill Sam. Sam Winchester cannot die."

"He won't. As long as an angel is nearby to heal him as soon as he has pushed the baby out, he won't die-"

"Why would he go through the pain though Anna?" Anna was surprised by the broken look in his eyes then and couldn't decide whether that meant he was head over heels in love with Sam already or if he even realized how much he blatantly loved Sam already.

"Because he loves you. And when you love someone, sometimes the pain is worth it." She answered as truthfully as she could. "And sometimes when it comes to life and death, love overcomes the fear of dying."

If anything she wouldn't be surprised if he already realized how much he loved him. He was already showing it by fearing something that may or may not be true.

"Well you already know he's important so it's okay to be scared for him too."

"And if I mess up everything I have with him? I never expected to fall for him Anna. And if one of the fallen got together with the abomination to make a baby, where would that leave us afterwards?"

"Get a ring and make him yours. There's no way that his surrogate father would be happy with you if he knew you made a baby and didn't do that."

Cas nodded.

"I'll have to ask Dean about all that. I won't be mad at him either when I find him. I only want him to be okay."

"Of course, that's true no matter who you are that if you love someone you always worry. Dean does that with Sam enough times and they're only brothers."

Cas nodded.

He felt a little less scared but a part of him always would be. If not for the times that he was with Sam, he wouldn't have known the little thing called love with all your life either.

Life, he now came to understand, was too precious to lose.

* * *

"What is going on and why are you two fighting at," Sam paused to squint at the alarm clock. "Three o'clock in the morning?"

Meg glared at the trickster who only laughed at the thought of the demon wanting to strangle him. She wouldn't even get close enough if he had his way though, and she only seemed to realize that after Sam had switched on the light looking more pale than normal. Okay so he should be in bed not listening to them fight and the trickster frowned seeing the sheen of sweat on the young Winchester's forehead. He was really not kidding when he said he often felt hot at night. He was probably burning up. Meg pushed him on the couch, glaring back at the trickster ruefully but allowed him to slide onto the couch and feel for the fever. He was warm but wasn't that warm and that left the trickster to breathe a sigh of relief. Sam was breathing shallowly now and seemed to be in a light sleep but he did answer Meg's questions whenever she asked him something.

"you're thirty nine weeks. Should be able to pop that sucker out now."

Sam shook his head and sighed, seemingly falling asleep where he laid now. His belly seemed a little large but that only meant that he was getting ready to pop. He was after all getting really close to his due date. Sam had dozed off now and the trickster was only sure when he heard the unmistakable sounds of soft snoring.

"I think we should just cut the baby out of him. He needs to see a doctor," Meg said with an angry sigh.

"Yeah and listen to him bitch. Besides he needs to see his angel friend. The one he's madly in love with before he should pop that baby out."

"He doesn't look so hot right now though." The trickster nodded at that and Meg sighed. "We should get him to the hospital so that he could get oxygen to assist him before he really does die."

"Or we try my way. I'm a demi God so maybe if I give him some of my blood he would be able to breathe easier tonight." The trickster raised an eyebrow as though waiting for Meg to argue the point.

She didn't and instead got a knife out. Sam fought it though and after determining he was roused from sleep, Meg tried to get his mouth open with no success and instead gave up after he still refused it.

"What are you so afraid of?" Meg asked and Sam squinted against the pale light in the little kitchen.

"I don't want to be a blood sucker," he whispered breathing heavily and the trickster nodded, snapping his fingers. Sam looked hazily confused when a bag of red liquid appeared and the man just smirked when the Winchester looked like he would have appreciated an answer.

"Tell you what. We're going to make this sound like a blood transfusion and then you won't be considered a blood sucking freak. I know you hate needles but if you die, so does baby. Do you think you could sacrifice a needle going into your arm for it?"

Sam finally nodded and felt the poke as the needle slid into the vein. He breathed a sigh of relief and then watched in somewhat morbid fascination as the tube showed the blood going into him. He fell into another light doze soon after but it showed marked improvement already. His face was less pale.

Meg looked over thoughtfully and the trickster just shrugged.

"What can I say, I have the juice and us gods are the closest you could come to an angel right now. Let him sleep right here though and then if he gets worse you could call the angel tart and the brother mutton head. I mean I wouldn't want him to die without them making up."

"Me either. I know that both of them are stupid but Castiel, God that little angel is crazy for him. Seeing them though I know it isn't going great for them and I can't say he's going to be happy knowing that Sammy boy is having a baby but it's got to be the one thing that will stop the angel from being cold."

"Like he'd be cold at finding he's going to be a daddy. He's going to be ecstatic when the baby comes and Sam is fine. They won't ever be having another kid but they'll have one and it would be worth it. Hey you think the prophecy is wrong? I think the prophecy is bogus. It was never about a powerful baby coming into the world and purging it. There will always be evil and the baby coming won't change it."

Meg raised her eyebrows at that.

"No the thing that is all about is love. That's what God tried to teach everyone about. Love. It is powerful in life and even death. You realize that it's considered an ancient protection against evil. If someone dies because of love that evil cannot touch it. The prophecy has been around a long long time and I don't believe for one moment it has any intent other than telling people to live by example and to love as much as they can for as long as they can. They could be so pathetic but it's the reason I started believing in humans."

"You're just a bunch of laughs aren't you?" Meg moistened her lips before standing up. "If it's about love then I get what you're trying to say. You're saying in order for evil not to be able to touch the baby, Sammy has to stop breathing for a moment. Isn't that risky?"

"Sammy is strong willed and of strong mind. He may lose a couple minutes of oxygen but as long as he has a darling angel nearby and he's in a hospital then he'll be fine. He doesn't do either and he's dead. We can't have that." The trickster frowned and continued, peaking Meg's over all interest. "If it is going to mean anything I want Cas to realize that there are things that he could lose. He could lose them if he doesn't even bother to look at what he had. Fallen doesn't mean he is in disgrace but that he simply has fallen in love. And Cas probably spent the longest time losing things because they were out of his reach and never once did he ever try to fight for it. He needs to fight this. He needs to realize that if he wants something bad enough, he has to fight it."

Meg nodded.

"Guess he'll never come to realize how much something could mean unless he almost loses it as well. So what does the whole prophecy read anyhow? Even if it is a shameless love text."

"There's been a whole chunk misses but there's something that mentions a powerful baby coming about and being born around the blue moon and that its parents are going to be an abomination and fallen. Also that they would be the ones that defied death multiple times and that one would be meant to die but the act of sacrifice will come to account. I don't like it because there's any kind of interpretation in that. The last part is the memory of the fallen will soon be misplaced and there having to be a choice. Nobody ever would know what it means but my guess is that they will be able to be together and no one would die."

"I hope so too. Look at this. If it wasn't meant to be, the baby would've been miscarried ages ago."

"Talk to Dean and Cas again. Make sure that they get some clue before I come there and do it myself."

Meg smiled at that.

"Now you're talking. Let's just hope this idiot survives until then."

The trickster smirked and even though Meg hated it, it was hard to see that he would do anything else being a trickster demi god and all.

"But darling I could do anything I please."

There was hardly any doubt with that. That was for sure.

* * *

"Cas being in Detroit really?"

Cas sighed but didn't expect Dean to get it. He was trying to find some way to weed out the demons. Of course Detroit would have meaning as well. The blue moon would fold in about a week or maybe it was five days from today. He didn't really pay attention but the rays of the moon was symbolized for millions of years. He just couldn't stop to think of anything else.

"You do realize why people speak in different tongues don't you?"

Dean looked at him weirdly and Cas turned away, watching as Dean stopped to ask for directions. A ball fall near his feet and Cas picked it up seeing that it was a bouncy item that children usually played with. He never really got the chance to watch a child play but more than once he wished that he could see their interactions. A little girl with thick brown hair and dark blue eyes stopped before him, looking a bit intimidated, he could guess.

He held out the ball to her and watched as her eyes shined at the simple gesture. She quickly looked at him, biting her lip and broke out into a huge smile that Cas had previously doubted was possible. She looked back at the older kids playing in the soccer field and the angel guessed that her big brother's or sister's practice was commencing.

"I'm Katie." She finally answered.

"Castiel. How do you do?" he saw her laugh and thought for a moment that he said the wrong thing. Without Sam and Dean, he often said some idiotic things and he didn't want her to think that he was plainly that. She just beamed, looking at him and he couldn't understand why she wasn't laughing at him. She seemed to laugh at the act itself though earlier and he was used to being made fun of.

"I like the name. My little brother's name is Trevor and my older sister's name is Kaylee. Mommy wanted her girls to sound alike and I lost Kelsey because she drowned."

Cas nodded understanding that. He saw the girl Kelsey but couldn't interfere because he wasn't her angel and when he was called to heaven, he couldn't ignore it. He was told Kelsey was meant to die and that she had a greater purpose of heaven to serve now. She was only eighteen months old though and she never survived to her second birthday. He couldn't understand how anyone could survive the loss of any one of their children. If it was like the pain he felt at the thought of losing Sam, he knew it was horrendous.

"Are you an angel?" She asked suddenly wrinkling her nose as she tipped her head sideways.

"Why would you ask me that?" Cas asked.

"Lindsey says angels aren't guardians like people seem to think but they are the closest to heaven that anyone could even imagine. She said the key to knowing an angel is by talking to one. She died two weeks ago but she said that she knew her angel was going to where she was needed."

"Needed huh?" Cas had doubts with this. Since when did the angels ever do something like this? He still had problems understanding the orders and he was only beginning to question them. Take Anna though who had done it for years. She would never believe in them and it was so bad, one of the archangels up and left heaven several decades ago. "I don't know about that Katie. Angels aren't your friend. They are rude inconceivable dicks. When something good comes along, angels don't fight for it as they should and they cause chaos wherever they go. They aren't anything good and they allow your sister, mother, even grandmother to suffer. And I am so sorry because your sister was so small and so innocent. She had a light about her that is hardly seen anymore. The only thing Heaven is good for is making you believe you are home when you are far away-"

"Silly real heaven is not that," Katie said with a giggle. "Real heaven that you go to is all about happiness and loving one another. Real true love gets you there and this place you talk about. It is a holding place to the real heaven where you will rest for eternity with the one you love."

Cas tipped his head in confusion.

"I suppose you are wiser than anyone I've ever met." He concluded.

She laughed again, the noise itself making like music to his ears. It's been years since he met some innocent talking about something and actually believing in it. He allowed himself to smile and she looked up with a sad look in her eye.

"You'll understand when you become a daddy. Daddies are the best. They are there for their kids and they are special and nice. They will kill any boy that goes after their little girl-" she looked over at this and saw her big brother. "That's my signal to go. Nice talking to you Castiel."

Cas waved.

He noticed just then that it was all wrong and she hadn't seen a car coming. With everything still fresh on his mind, he quickly popped over to her and pulled her with him to the sidewalk, falling back with the quivering child in his arms. He breathed a sigh of relief just knowing that she was safe however and ignored Dean's yells as he slowly stood up and released her to leave. He ignored the car's honking and the jibes he got by other parents by telling him he was an asshole. No at that moment he froze.

Right in front of him was the last person he had expected to see and his eyes were wide with surprise as well. More surprising though wasn't the fact that Cas finally saw him but the outstretched stomach before him. Cas supposed if he was a human, he would faint from the shock but instead he only allowed his feet to carry him in front of the young man. Sure the man was taller on even the best days but he was making himself seem smaller. Not wanting to scare him off though, Cas smiled and allowed himself to settle for trying to hug him without pressing into his belly. The baby was definitely big. He pulled himself away finally and beamed for the first time in so many months. He didn't care that this was a shocking surprise or that Dean was catching up with them and would see it too. He was glad to be seeing him and it must have showed because the other started to smile a little bit as well although his face was really pale.

"Sam?"

Sam seemed to finally notice Dean and it was then that both Cas and Dean noticed that Sam wasn't alone either. And both had different reactions as well.

"The trickster and Meg?" Dean shouted in disbelief.

No it wasn't the fact that they were with him that surprised Cas in the end. It was the fact that he was there when he claimed to be neutral that did it in. He could only say the first thing that was on the tip of his tongue at the moment and when he did, he realized it wasn't something that they knew but then again, he was just too shocked today with everything.

"Gabriel?"

It seemed that he wasn't the only one though.

This is wasn't his day.

* * *

A/N: They finally all meet up at the end and secrets are going to be out and about. Including the Trickster's true identity. :)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

"Sammy?"

Dean seemed to finally notice the stomach as well. It looked like he was carrying a beach ball under his shirt but in all honesty, it wasn't really that that had Dean surprised. Cas had said Gabriel which meant that the demi god wasn't really a demi god but something else altogether that was really powerful.

"Wait Gabriel?" Meg didn't look all that surprised. "Well you did refer to him as Cas last night so it is kind of obvious now that you are siblings."

"Wait!" Dean looked between them and then to Sam who looked confused as hell about all this. "You are really an angel? And what are you doing here Meg? It's not because of Sam, is it? And what the hell are you doing with a demon Sam? You need to choose better friends-"

"Actually I'm an archangel," Gabriel corrected. "And you should be groveling at this demon's feet since she's the reason your brother is still alive. I don't think she has a motive for doing it but I could be wrong. Every other demon? They don't even know that your little Sammy is knocked up by an angel."

Dean paused, eyeing Sam still who had yet to speak. He was still staring at Cas like he was at a loss for words and Dean suddenly realized what may be the reason. Cas was wearing some of Dean's clothes whilst they waited for the angel's own clothes to go through the laundry. They just didn't have the time to clean anything so far so Cas was stuck with one of Dean's holey jeans and a black and white checkered button down.

"You look nice," Sam finally muttered and Cas nodded.

"You do too. I'm surprised really since the last time I saw you, you were flat." He paused as though looking for the words and Sam didn't know whether to feel offended by the words he used or be happy with the fact that Cas wasn't yelling at him yet. "Now you have a baby inside you. You look nice too. In fact I'm glad I'm getting to see you. I am the cause of you running away and I feel as though I chased you off. We really do need to talk but I'm glad to see you and that you are still well."

"It's not your fault Cas," Dean whined before glaring at Meg despite the fact that he was told that Meg had helped Sam. He had a problem believing in the good of demons still and the fact that Ruby was gallanting around made it even harder. "Ruby is around still. Why don't you go with her Meg and share your secrets-"

"You really want to know what she was planning?" Meg asked, a smirk adorning her lips. "She was planning for Lucifer to be sprung from the box. She was trying to get your brother hooked on demon blood but I think her little plan was ruined when Cas and Sam started making love. Of course I bet you didn't realize that this baby was going to come along. Thing is, nobody thought that Cas would be involved since he is so obedient to his superiors-"

"You don't look well Sam," Cas interrupted. He didn't care much for the beef that Dean still had with the demon and Sam really didn't look so great, he could tell just by the pale face alone. "How far along are you? I remember that you were already with child when those demons abducted you and attempted to get their spawn created but I still have no idea. Are you nine months already?"

Sam let himself smile. Cas led him to one of the benches as the others followed and despite the fact that he was pretty sure that the angel wanted to speak with him alone, he was quite fine with the situation as it was. He finally realized that Cas was waiting for an answer though and attempted to bring moisture to his cracked lips before replying.

"I'm forty weeks today. I'm techniqually due today as well but this baby is being rather stubborn-"

"That's just Winchester stubbornness Sammy. If you don't get an induction then the baby is going to think that he or she can stay in as long as possible," Dean interrupted with a laugh.

"Except he doesn't want to be inducted," Meg told him, crossing her arms. "First I had the feeling he wanted to wait because of the daddy thing and the fact that he didn't want to go into labor all alone but then it became more along the lines what he has been told. He wants the baby to be safe and well developed."

Cas noticed that and sighed.

"You could have done this weeks ago Sam. There's nothing worse than risking your life for the baby. You do realize the longer you carry the baby the more you risk-have you been throwing up blood or coughing it up?" Cas remembered the time he wiped blood from Sam's mouth and it didn't even mean anything to him then. He hadn't thought about it but now that he knew that Sam was carrying his child, it was something that made him cold with the thought. "Sam you can't just, you're baby is fine. We should get an induction so that you are fine."

"I know. Can't it be natural though? I'd rather she come when she's ready." At Cas's confusion, he turned red and looked down, realizing that Cas was being far too generous. He didn't deserve all this treatment. He left them and he ruined his relationship with his older brother. What the hell was Cas doing being so nice to him?

"What? Why would you want to wait another two weeks for this when you could see her earlier? Babies from an angel are big Sam and trust me they are usually born late. Don't wait though-"

"Will the baby have any risks if born earlier though? Cas I don't want this baby to die. I love this baby!"

He allowed Cas to gather him in his arms and closed his eyes. He knew he shouldn't but he loved the feel of the angel close to him. He took a deep breath and coughed a couple of times, causing the angel to only hold on tighter.

"Could you guys maybe give us a minute," he heard Cas ask. Sam's eyes were closed but he felt that they were doing as Cas asked and only realized that they were away when he felt Cas's lips on his own. He opened his eyes in surprise and after seeing Cas's silent pleading look, allowed Cas entrance. The kiss wasn't like any of the other kisses that Cas had given him in the past. It was slow, sensual, and full of emotion that it surprised Sam a great deal. He broke apart and Cas kept his forehead against Sam's, breathing deeply as though this was something he missed.

"I don't get it Cas, didn't you want to be with Dean? That was the whole deal and you wanted him. You never wanted me-" he was cut off by another kiss and then a warm hug which only served in making Sam feel worse. He felt the tears sliding down his cheek and tried to keep the sobs in check. He did this to him, he could only think. He bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out loud and Cas pulled back, cupping Sam's cheek, worry evident in his eyes.

"Sam I feel bad for allowing you to run off thinking that every single day. I don't know when it came to be but I love you. More than I ever loved anyone and the fact that I couldn't tell you made me realize that you only believed what I thought I felt in the beginning. Sam I don't blame you for anything, I blame me." He placed a finger on Sam's lips to keep him from replying and kept going, knowing Sam had to hear this. He had to get this out whilst he had Sam here with him again. "Sam, Dean didn't love me like he thought and he was only exploring the possibility. If I stayed with him I would have ruined everything since the real reason he kept me close was he didn't want to hurt me. But I love you and I fell for you with clear intentions. Don't, please don't run away from this. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone and I think I've only just realized how much I took for granted when I almost lost that. Don't leave me please don't. I want to be with you Sam, if you'll let me. If you'll have me, for as long as we have I will prove to you the love I have for you."

Sam knew he was a mess. He never thought Cas would really feel anything for him and he hadn't blamed him in the past. He made too many mistakes and he didn't deserve it. But Cas loved him and it felt different and for the first time in a long time, it felt right. Cas wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumb seeing that the light that had once been absent from the four long months the Winchesters' were apart was back brighter than ever. Cas held onto him tightly and Sam finally lost it. He allowed himself to sob against his shirt, the damn of emotions that he held in for so long finally broke and he felt drained. Cas rubbed his hand in soothing circling around his back reassuringly.

"If you'll have me Sam, please let me prove myself to you. It will probably take a whole life time but I will. I'll prove there's no one else."

Sam finally nodded. He was drained, exhausted, but more than anything else, he was content. He was silent for several moments but Cas didn't cease in rubbing his hand on his back and Sam felt warm, protected, and loved.

"I'll be with you. I want you Cas and the baby is going to love you too. I don't know the gender but the baby is going to love you all the same. I just know it."

"I'm glad. I don't necessarily make for great parent material but I'll try."

Sam actually found himself smiling.

"I didn't realize that that was Gabriel all this time. It also explains though why he laughed when I told him that he could be the uncle if he was so damn mad. He is already the uncle through blood."

"Yes although he doesn't really act like an angel most of the time. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he hates how all of us have a habit of fighting and taking sides. I think I finally understand though. He isn't an idiot when you could see what the reason is for everything."

"What is Bobby going to say though? I've heard of people falling in love with rugaroos and people having shape shifting babies but nobody's hardly heard of a half angel baby-"

"Nephilims are commonly another name and Bobby wouldn't care as long as you loved the person you were with. He probably wouldn't even care if the baby was a Cambion as long as he knew you were well and happy."

Sam nodded turning to watch Dean and the other two talking. It must have been hard, he mused to have to deal with all he had when Sam was missing but his brother was doing fine and he knew he would be okay too. He paused when he saw Cas hesitantly lower his hand to his outstretched stomach and sighed happily before lifting up his shirt and placing the angel's hand there himself. When Cas gasped having felt the kick, Sam let out a hearty laugh.

"See the baby already knows their other parent. You'll be fine." Cas smiled and Sam put his head on his shoulder, already feeling exhausted after a hectic and draining but worthwhile day. "I almost didn't recognize you without the trench coat either. I like the trench coat but wearing other clothes is fine too."

Cas beamed.

"I'll remember to get some while I wait to get the trench coat cleaned." His hand lingered on Sam's upper arm and felt it to be a positive side when the younger Winchester made no move to remove it. Looking heavenward, Cas knew it was too good to be true.

He was an angel and Sam was a human.

He never thought of the positives of being with Sam but then again, he wasn't always going to be there for him either. They'd just have to try to make it work and try the wait and see approach.

Because after all this, that was all he could see them doing.

* * *

"I got a call from dad's old phone and guess who it was?"

Sam looked over at him sleepily and Dean looked a little worried, putting a hand up to his forehead before pulling it away just as fast. Sam was burning up and if the archangel knew anything about it, he was seriously going to kick his ass. He pulled a wash cloth over his forehead, seeing the weak pants and knowing this was not a normal thing but that didn't mean Sam wasn't used to it. Cas felt the heat radiating from him and quickly attempted to heal it. Gabriel whistled when Sam was already feeling less hot and then pushed a glass of water into the said Winchester's hands.

"What was that?" Dean asked. "Is he always burning up in the middle of the night or is this something new and if you say anything else I'm going to kick both your archangel and demon asses!"

"Relax, the baby is really powerful and you know how much it weakens Sammy boy. Well lately it's taking a toll on his immune system. Maybe that would be enough proof to cut him open and remove the sucker-"

"The baby isn't a sucker," Cas interrupted, looking confused. "The baby is either my son or daughter and this is not something I'm going to say often but leave your opinions to yourself when it comes to that."

"Well he already looks better being with you which makes me hopeful that his heart won't stop at the sudden loss of all that power he's packing. I mean if he was power hungry, he probably would have already been dead because it drains him."

"What call?" Sam asked changing the subject and pushing himself up. He surprisingly felt better already. At Dean's look, Sam flashed his puppy eyes, gaining a sigh but Dean went on anyways.

"Supposedly we have a brother. The name Adam Milligan from Minnesota seem familiar to you?"

Sam shook his head and Dean snorted.

"Well it just so happens that he can't find his mother and I think I should go check and see if he's at least okay. You know, this is all so weird and all but you don't have to worry about it okay-"

"No Dean, I'm coming along," Sam quickly argued. "I'm not going to have the baby right now and I'm fine. If I feel anything, anything at all, I'll tell you even if it seems insignificant-"

"Hell no, because you just had a damned fever and you seem to be having problems digesting things! You need to stick close to a hospital in case anything happens and I'm not putting you or the baby in danger! Remember why you ran in the first place remember! You felt that it was your fault right?"

At Sam's look though, Dean stopped himself and took a deep breath. He knew it wasn't Sam's fault and if he honestly thought about it, he would always risk anything he could so that he would forever keep his brother out of harm's way.

"Sam it wasn't your fault and I hated it that you thought you had to run away in order to keep me safe but that isn't the issue here. I want to keep you alive and kicking okay? You're ten months pregnant and you look like you could have the baby at any time and-"

"I could vouch for him," Cas quickly added in, seeing Dean's angry look and Sam's appreciative tone. "I'm dating Sam and I'm also looking after him. If he so much as has one little symptom I could take him to the hospital. I'm serious Dean, I'll keep him safe."

Dean glared and all but he knew he was beat when the angel stepped in. He loved his brother and so did Cas but whilst the angel obviously knew everything and anything about Sam he knew nothing about child birth or labor and he didn't want to risk that. He turned to Gabriel who was watching with a look of interest but he didn't even bother to butt in like Dean wished he would. He had no idea where Meg was but he knew that Sam had her by the puppy dog look as well. The 'you kicked my puppy' kind of thing that always got Sam what he wanted.

"Fine but if you think you are going anywhere near the danger, you are researching and only going where we say, alright?" Sam nodded hastily and Dean really didn't want to take him. He knew that Sam had back pain and he couldn't even reach down to touch his knee let alone his toes. He couldn't even see his toes and that belly looked heavy, like he was carrying a bowling ball in the front. He trusted his brother though when he said he would take it easy so he sighed and went on. "Fine, get in the car and make sure Cas stays around to zap you to the closest hospital available when he needs to alright?"

Sam nodded, going for his bag, but Cas already had it. Sam let him and quickly took the car keys from Dean, standing up and rubbing his aching belly before heading out and once again, Dean thought about how Sam could stand to carry all that weight. It just looked painful to him.

"Well now we're back at the beginning now aren't we?" Gabriel asked and Dean had to give the archangel credit. He knew what was going on and he could read people. He would give him props for that but he knew that that was as far as he would go. "Next you'll allow him to join in on a hunt even though he is really going to be having the baby soon."

"Not soon enough." Dean mumbled heatedly and to his surprise Gabriel just laughed.

"On the blue moon which is next week maybe. It is said that the only soulful nephilim will be born on the blue moon at midnight which means baby will be born sometime during the blue moon-"

"Still there are complications and Sam doesn't need to go around so that he could get hurt and lose the baby."

Gabriel moved forward and Dean moved back at the same time, tumbling back and letting out a shocked gasp when the archangel landed on top of him.

"Get off me," he remarked coldly.

"No maybe I like this position. I haven't forgotten that at one point you thought you may like an angel."

"I was wrong. He's more like an annoying pain in the ass brother much like Sam. Congrats on me, I was actually dating someone that reminded me of him without all the bitch face although Cas comes pretty close sometimes-"

"Now you're trying to think of excuses. In my opinion, I think you are just trying to find a way to shove everyone off. You got close to a lot of people and they ended up dead. You died, came back, and then your brother ran off. You closed yourself off emotionally so that you wouldn't get hurt. Are you afraid a big bad archangel like me is going to hurt you? Please, if I wanted to, I'd just put you in a time loop again and watch you die a hundred of times more."

"Oh yeah, I owe you for that in fact. You are a nut job and I want you to get off of me now before I scream-"

"You aren't. I know you don't hate this as much as you seem to think and as for the time loop thing? I knew that they weren't going to save you and I was trying to show your brother that revenge wasn't the way to go. He was the one that never understood it. My brother is much the same way. To get things they both have to make the mistakes first and it often burns them but then they realize they were wrong and everything so it falls on the big brothers to protect them. Well guess what Dean. Who's going to protect you when you are too busy thinking about taking care of Sam all the time? Just do me a favor and think of that will you?"

Before Dean could even comprehend all the things that were being said to him, Gabriel was gone. He lifted himself up long enough to hear the hunk of the horn and to see Gabriel had taken a seat up front. He sighed and realized this was a lose lose situation. He didn't feel a total loss though, he realized as he turned off the light.

No, it wasn't.

Gabriel suddenly became a little more bearable and he knew that he wasn't all bad either since he looked after his brother and kept him from demon scum that were out to get Sam. It wasn't until he started to drive that the sudden words hit him and he saw Gabriel smirking from the corner of his eyes.

Yeah, Gabriel wasn't so bad anymore.

But that didn't mean he had to let him know that just yet.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

"Hello?"

Bobby sighed when he didn't get an answer and slammed the phone back on the receiver wondering what was going on with those two idjits of his. He never would admit it to their faces but he felt fond of them and it was like he had taken them on since the first time they came into his house with John all those years ago. He sure gave those boys reason to be happy and John didn't help much, making sure they were able to hunt and nothing else. It was part of the reason he was pacing though and he almost jumped at the silent silhouette of a shadow to his right.

It was only Castiel though and he really wanted to throttle him but then again, the angel was clueless and it would be like hurting one of those mentally challenged children. He sighed and waited for Castiel to state his business so he could get back to what he was doing. The council of demons he was able to dredge up was nothing good and with Lilith going around like she owned everything wasn't so great either.

"What?" he finally asked getting impatient.

"We found Sam Bobby and he's pregnant. He's carrying my baby," Cas added seeing Bobby go from angry to confused and then finally understanding.

"Yeah, well am I going to have to explain what happens when two people or a person and an angel love each other?"

"No but I realize that Sam's father is dead and I think this is a little hard but I want to do this because it's more than right. God doesn't believe in kids being made this way so-"

"Why would it matter if Sam's father is dead or not?" Bobby asked confused. Cas looked upset but he didn't show his anger and instead continued on as though Bobby hadn't spoken.

"I was rather harsh when I first met him but I love him and he's going to make me a parent."

"Yeah isn't that how it often goes with normal people? I wouldn't know since my wife died before the whole baby thing but those boys are my surrogate sons so I'll give you the same speech I would if my own child started dating. You break his heart and I will kill you."

"Killing an angel is kind of tough though," Cas said confused but continued on so that Bobby wouldn't get the chance to interrupt. "I want to ask him to marry me."

"Yeah and that is nice and everything but why are you telling me of your intentions for? Shouldn't you talk this over with Sam?" Bobby looked over and Cas sighed as though he was really trying to get Bobby to understand his meaning. "Oh come on you feathered idjit! Tell it to me straight so that I don't keep guessing what it is that you want. I take it that you are still watching out for Sam and you snuck off when he caught a few snoozes."

"Yeah, I left while he is taking a nap but I want to be back just in case because it is rather dangerous with him being so close to birth. He is forty weeks and two days."

"Rather overdue but yeah, lay it on me then." Bobby was getting impatient just as much as Cas was for a different reason. He was trying to give the boys something to go on when it came to the demon council who wanted to get Sam knocked up themselves and if they did take the child as it was being born, the child could end up bad as far as Bobby saw. He needed to find out how to destroy them though since the demon blade wasn't going to help like it normally did. It didn't help with Alastair.

"I want to get your blessing before I ask him," Cas stated and Bobby had to blink. So this was what he was talking about. He dropped into his chair just thinking of the idea of an angel being bound to a human. It was simply laughable but then again he also had a child so he couldn't find anything else strange. Not if he wanted to take into account shape shifting babies and a rugaroo that simply loved his family. Witches also had a habit of falling in love as well and changing for the better.

Finally he looked at Cas and saw that he didn't seem worried but then again he wasn't a very emotional type of angel. Hell he never met one that wore their hearts on their sleeves anyways.

"Fine. If you want my blessing you have it. I give you permission to ask him to marry you and all but I have only one thing I want in return." He paused realizing he wasn't going to make him promise to love them because he obviously already did and he was already determined to keep them safe. Instead he gazed into Cas's eyes before saying, "Don't make him cry."

Cas tipped his head sideways.

"But what if it is tears of happiness-"

"You know what I meant Cas. No heartbreaking crying or else I'm not the only one that would kick your ass and I know it wouldn't be because you cheated on him either. No, you wouldn't hurt him that way but there are other things and I don't want you doing those if it would make him cry at the end. Don't make him cry and that's final."

Cas nodded after a pause.

"I won't. I promise Bobby. I won't let him cry and if it helps I will love him for eternity."

That wasn't what Bobby was looking for but he understood.

"Just get over there and ask him. I know he is bound to say yes anyways. He loves you so much Cas and remember what we talked about and don't tell Sam anything about this. Okay?" Cas nodded and with a flap of wings he was gone.

He sighed and got back to reading.

He knew that being there for Sam wasn't going to be the problem and he definitely wouldn't think of cheating on him but there were a hundred different ways to make him cry and one of them was being hurt badly. He cared enough about both of the boys that he wanted to avoid that and by golly he hoped it would never fall to that.

He didn't want to see Sam torn up as much as the next guy.

That much was for certain.

Sam huffed slightly as he could have sworn that the washer machines weren't that low. He attempted to pull the clothes from the stupid machine without stooping since his back was already hurting. He almost jumped but one of the other matrons just helped him out with a smile on their faces and Sam was glad that not everyone there were rude obnoxious dicks. He hefted a sigh and knew he was going to have problems with the next part since it meant grabbing the articles of clothing from a certain laundry basket and into the dryer and he was just too far along to bend. His back would hurt and then if that wasn't bad enough, his outstretched belly weighed a ton and put strain on him. If he bent down, he'd doubt he would be able to get back up.

"What kind of people leave you alone when they should be helping you? I mean I saw you for three hours trying to get everything done and not once did I see family friends or even a love interest helping you out. You must picked a bad day to come wash clothes."

Sam laughed.

"No my boyfriend needed his clothes washed and I didn't want him going on and on to Dean or his brother about his trench coat and when it was going to be washed. He loves that thing and I've grown used to seeing him wear it."

The other nodded and took the basket, shoving the clothes from the basket and putting it in the dryer despite Sam trying to get him to stop. He didn't really want the man to feel like it was his fault or anything and he couldn't get him to stop.

"It's no problem. I'm Rudy. Rudy Liggins. What the hell were you thinking anyways?"

"My boyfriend. I love him to death and usually that is enough to do someone's laundry."

"Well he should realize that the stress from this alone could put you into labor." He seemed to pause before continuing on. "Not like it would be bad at this point but I doubt you want to go into labor right here right now."

"If the baby wanted to come, I'd be glad. I mean I wouldn't complain but something tells me I'll be in hell of a lot of pain before I would even appreciate the baby."

Rudy laughed.

"Yeah, but that is why you have that boyfriend of yours. You'll get to crush his hand during the labor to remind him that when he put the baby there, he caused the pain of labor as well."

Sam laughed along with him but shook his head.

"Nah, it was something that we both consented to so it falls on both of us. He may have put the baby here but I let him and knowing him, he'll already be apologizing profusely by the end."

Rudy nodded.

"I see. You going to be okay to get them out of the dryer? I'm sure that it isn't too bad and if you need any help, I'm sure there are a bunch of others here that would help you."

Sam shook his head but a smile played on his lips now.

"It's okay, I have plenty of people that I could call so I don't fall down and can't get up."

He missed the evil glint of white as he turned and hummed. If he was paying attention, he would have noticed that Rudy wasn't normal looking nor did he do anything out of the goodness of his heart.

"Damn," Dean muttered attempting to fix the microwave, blowing the smoke away and cursing his own stupidity. "Looks like it is sandwiches for us kid-DON'T DO THAT!"

Cas only looked at him for a moment longer before turning to Adam who seemingly looked like he had seen a ghost. Dean knew that Adam didn't need this and after trying every little trick in the book, he already decided that he was harmless. There was still the fact that he couldn't believe quite yet that he was his half-brother but he was sure he could get there. He didn't need Cas coming over and spoiling it for him though.

"Sorry. I know it's kind of sudden but I want to ask a question involving Sam." Dean rolled his eyes and shut the microwave with a snap.

"Sam isn't here and from the absence I see of clothes, I take it he wanted to do the laundry before we have to be stuck wearing the same clothes over and over again. I know you do it," he paused and Cas quickly started playing with the buttons on his cuff, not wanting to let Dean know that he couldn't say no to Sam when he got a bunch of shirts he thought the angel would look good in. Dean already snorted at the fact that Sam even got them in the first place and then Sam started paying attention to Dean and that was when the older brother snapped.

"I haven't since Sam had something to say about it but that still doesn't explain why you let him leave."

"I wasn't here and now I'm kind of swamped. I was going to head over to the Laundromat myself but I've been preoccupied with Adam here. He fits the real deal-"

"I should test him though and I have more knowledge of more tests than you could imagine. It only takes one though to make sure he is who he says he is and it won't hurt."

"Really? Why isn't my word enough-"

"It can't be enough right now. I need to make sure that we don't risk you two." He touched Adam's forehead and determining that it was him, he quickly stepped away watching the boy look at him without any fear. Well he was technically half Winchester anyways. "You are who you say you are."

"Yes," Adam said slowly as though he was talking to a two year old. "I'm very sure I know who I am."

Cas turned to Dean with a very unappreciative look on his face.

"It's not fair. He acts too much like you." Dean rolled his eyes and yet he didn't want to deal with this. Instead he crossed his arms and waited for Cas to get over it, which he did before he was already changing the subject. "Anyways I know you already blessed me and Sam to have a relationship but I'm going to ask him to marry me. I know television depicts that normally it usually done with wining and dining. I don't want it to be a normal thing that people normally do though. I want it to be special and it's not going to be if it is something everybody else does. It isn't original."

Dean rolled his eyes again and almost yelped when he found himself face to face with Gabriel.

"Forever must I remind you not to do that?"

"Right and like I would listen to you. I found that there's a high level of unusual things going on. Not just the problem with that one's mommy disappearing either," he added throwing his thumb out in Adam's direction. "The demon council we have been trying to find out about. Some of the members have been seen or so word has it. They can't be detected by us either so we really shouldn't trust the lot of them."

"So I guess proposing to Sam would have to wait," Cas said already starting to feel down.

"Hell no!" Gabriel smiled broadly realizing his brother never would have taken the initiative before to do something like this. He smirked and continued, knowing his brother needed to have some reassurance. "The place doesn't matter bro. As long as it takes the baby Winchester off guard and it's memorable, he won't be able to forget it and you could look back and think about stuff like this."

"Great but don't propose someplace stupid. Like in front of an orphanage or a petting zoo." Dean added crossing his arms.

Cas nodded.

"What else should I do?"

"How about you make sure you ask him?" They looked to Adam who shrugged. "That would be the first step right and then you could worry about the big wedding when the baby is out and from what I keep hearing, he doesn't even have a week."

"It could be a week and it could be two," Cas admitted with a frown.

Adam waved him off.

"Point is," Dean added. "You love him and everything else is moot. You have Sam. You are going to be engaged to him and then there's the baby. You should ask him what it is so you know what to name it."

"If it's a girl, Sam wants to name her Faith." Cas answered and Gabriel suddenly laughed. Frowning, Cas ignored him. "If it's a boy, he said I could choose. I probably want to name him something special. You think we're having a girl? Sam seems to think so which is why I haven't picked out a name yet and if it is a boy we'll just name him after Bobby. Bobby helped us with the research and he's like a father to you two. "

Dean snorted but didn't reply to that. Instead, he seemed more interested in the proposal as did the others that were in the tiny motel room along with them.

"So did you even get a ring yet?" Dean didn't really expect an answer and would have been surprised but seeing how it was Cas, he just wondered why he even had to double question himself.

"I have." Cas admitted.

Dean didn't know why he spent his time hoping that Cas would understand what a cue meant and instead cleared his throat making Cas just look in confusion. Gabriel laughed making the older hunter glare before turning back to the clueless angel and telling himself it was illegal to kill someone who had he been a normal human being, would have been on a short bus.

"Can I see what the ring looks like?" he finally asked rolling his eyes.

Cas nodded and scooped it out of his pocket. Dean of course would have expected to roll his eyes again at something simple and elegant but it turned out to be so much more. He blinked hoping he wasn't just seeing Cas growing up and doing something without question first. He looked over in time to see Cas looking with a emotionless expression and sighed.

"I got a little help," he admitted. "I wanted to make sure that no matter what, I wouldn't back out-Gabriel where is Meg? Isn't she always here?"

Gabriel looked up and seemed to be caught within a hard place and no matter how much it pained Dean to ask, he knew that Meg had looked out for Sam the longest and possibly even saved him before Gabriel even had a clue as to where he was. He knew if he didn't, Sam would demand it and it would be even harder anyways.

Finally Gabriel looked away.

"Haven't seen her. I think she could be going undercover. She's been doing that a lot lately to make sure she knows what the demons are throwing us. It's how we know that we could never ever let Sam get into the hands of those stupid demons because they get him and get to the baby, that baby will be lost to us. It's inherently good I know but they will keep the child and twist him or her so much that you won't believe how evil that thing will turn to be."

Cas shook his head and turned on his heel, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Dean wasn't sure but he hoped that Cas didn't do anything stupid.

"Easy, I'm going to check on Sam."

Dean nodded as he heard the door close. He closed his eyes feeling like such an ass. He was the one that let Cas go and even though he may have felt even a little smidge of anything with Cas, it had to be over. He couldn't deny that he felt that he loved Cas but he suddenly realized it was more along the lines of loving him like he would love Sam or now Adam. It had never been about breaking his heart or giving him to Sam and stepping down. Realization hit and he suddenly found himself wishing he could erase those months and start all over.

He wasn't in love with Cas though. And looking over at Gabriel, he realized that the love he may have, didn't count much since he was just too damn scared to even to do anything about it. It made him realize it was there though and he hoped that one day he wouldn't be too scared to get hurt in order to get what he wanted too.

* * *

"You boys are just too ripe for the taking." Meg snatched the knife out of the demon and sighed as though it was another boring night.

Sam was probably doing what they told him not to do even though he was well heading for the forty first week of pregnancy and he was too scared to do anything afraid that the baby would be less developed, less nourished, or even hurt before the precious baby of his decided to come out on its own. She rolled her eyes at the hundreds of times that she heard that conversation and she found herself realizing that she was now ninety nine percent certain that the baby he was carrying a girl. Unless he had a very stubborn Winchester baby boy in there, there was no way that it would a boy. Plus she heard from sources that there was a thing about how they were carried and the heartbeat thing. She didn't know if those were true but then again, she knew that most of the things humans say were utter bull shit.

"Working hard Meg or hardly working?"

She turned around, stopping short when she realized this wasn't a simple demon that she could just gut with a knife. Ruby was behind him smiling in all her glory and she wondered if she should have probably left earlier instead of drilling that demon for secrets first. She had had no idea how they knew about the baby though and now that Gabriel had the news of this, she was ecstatic. She frowned now though, hoping the demon would just look her over and she could get away.

"Lookie here, another demon that isn't loyal like in the olden days," Ruby called out dramatically.

"Of course because you have been clear from the start princess that you were planning on starting judgment day early," Meg replied calmly crossing her arms. "I mean, you sure do know how to trick people and you had those Winchesters strung all high and mighty. I may have liked all that drama but for one small issue. Oh yeah, it involves you guys actually working with a couple of angels. Who are they huh? I thought demons could slum no lower."

"Ruby isn't in charge here. We need Lucifer to purge all the bad and he will do it for us. Don't you realize how many abortions, murders, and even suicides come about? We need to purge the impure ones so that there is once again harmony."

"You were fallen angels. That is why you guys can't be detected and why you all wanted a baby from you. What happened to your face huh? I doubt that anything could ever come through us-"

"Time and time again it has been proven that fate plays a big role you low level demon hussy. I know for a fact that you have double crossed us but I also know that I should correct you. I was an angel yes. Yes I was. But you see, things happened that made no sense. Hopeless wars. People that needn't been killed died. I was sick of it and I was sick of everything. I left and didn't look back but after Lucifer's rebellion and realizing he was right, we were cursed for eternity. The scars are a present from daddy Winchester. I actually was planning on taking my revenge by carving it into the younger son's back but I hear he's expecting a baby. Too bad too because we wanted our spawn but seriously it is no problem. We have a nephilim with a soul for the first time in like ever."

Meg only sighed and hung her head back as demons grabbed a hold of her. She didn't stand a chance with these fellas and she knew that the one in front of her could kill her permanently without even trying. She ignored Ruby's smug look and decided that she was done for either way anyways.

"Ralph, it's nice to know that you have been doing well for a fallen angel cursed to walk the earth and remember what you did. I bet Lucifer doesn't care one way or another. He'd kill you if he had an advantage over something."

"Right and I say what you say doesn't count."

She nodded as she was taken away. She wasn't scared though. She was sure that one of them would know what to do, even if it took a little bit of brainpower.

She just hoped that these disgusting things didn't get a hand on the baby.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

Sam groaned but tried to balance the basket right to the point where it wasn't against his stomach. He hadn't realized how much he absolutely hated doing laundry until he gained the twenty five pounds. It didn't make a difference right now though since Dean was going to come looking for him soon enough and he had to have all these clothes folded before then.

It shocked him when somebody pulled the basket away and he was relieved to see that it was only Cas. Rudy was a nice person but he was scary looking. He smiled when Cas started pulling them out and placing them in the basket before depositing it on the floor and leading him to a chair.

"You should be resting, not doing strenuous stuff like this," Cas told him, grabbing his hands like it was a life line. Sam arched an eyebrow and Cas sighed. "I just want you to be okay and not have to worry every time I leave that you're going to go someplace where I can't protect you. You're having my baby now and I can't just let you be as independent as you have been in the past. I need to look after you."

Sam nodded.

"Sorry." Cas gave him a small kiss, smiling at the thought of feeling this complete before Sam pulled him in for a hug.

"Besides I didn't just do the laundry because I was trying to help out," Sam added once he pulled away. "Look I washed your trench coat."

Cas loved him, he really did and seeing that Sam was always doing the little things that counted, he wondered when he really started to notice that. Before he even accepted that deal that led to the creation of his baby, he never really even thought about him. Upon the first meeting he had thought he was cute but kept it to himself because of Uriel being there. The actual thought that somebody did actually think of him more than a buddy, a brother, or just someone they could use was refreshing. It also hurt that he had never been upset about having used Sam the same way.

"I love you Sam and not because of what you are doing here. You actually shouldn't be doing this. You could end up going into labor if you keep walking around and then what is going to happen?" At Sam's confusion, Cas only felt justified to elaborate that. "I read some baby books but the moot point is, you shouldn't be alone."

Sam nodded, clucking his tongue.

"Okay. I'm sorry Cas, you know I didn't want to worry you. I just need to get these folded and then we could leave-"

"I'm doing it and you're sitting right here." Despite the warning, Sam gave him a look and Cas deflated a little bit. "I'll put on the trench coat since you're holding it."

Sam happily handed it over to him and Cas actually felt warm that Sam would think to do this with him in mind although he felt he could have brought even Adam with him. The younger Winchester could have a baby any day and he didn't want Sam to be alone and on the verge of having Cas's baby since this was a complicated pregnancy.

"So am I going to have to wait until all those clothes are folded or-Never mind." Sam blinked temporarily forgetting that angels were a whole new level of quick folding. He did smile though when he noticed Cas was wearing the checkered button up he had gotten him the other day. He was going to miss it when Cas decided to just go back to the suit since the clothes were done. "Did you just send that back to the motel?"

"You're not carrying it and you walked. So let's go. If you want to walk, at least let me be there right beside you."

Sam smiled.

"Sure. The more the merrier."

Cas helped pull him up and waited a couple of moments as Sam tried to recover from having what seemed like a thirteen pound bowling ball as his stomach. Cas loved all these little things they did, he loved feeling as though he was the only one in his life but most of all, he didn't want anything to end with Sam. If he still wanted to pick what he were to wear, he would be okay with it and he was surprised that he wasn't more fazed. This would be something he'd usually question and ask but now that he thought back to what Anna had told him about making decisions on his own, he was glad to make this even though it was the biggest one in his life.

"Sam wait."

Sam stopped and Cas took a deep breath. Closing his eyes momentarily, he attempted to draw enough courage for this and to remember that being spontaneous was good and it wasn't the place that they would end up remembering but the thought that counted. He turned around and took Sam's hand in his despite the Winchester's confusion.

"I love you," he blurted out.

He didn't give the other a chance to question what he was doing and instead dived right in. Everyone kept telling him he had no back bone, he couldn't make a decision to save his life, and he was always so alone that he kissed up to people just to avoid that. Now he had a reason to be happy, he had made difficult decisions he never thought he could reach, and he was definitely not alone anymore.

"I love you," he repeated kissing Sam's forehead. "Funny thing is I never realized that. I mean, I always thought I was meant to be with Dean because I raised him from purgatory and he was this righteous man that is supposed to prevent the apocalypse that I lost count on what I really wanted. I didn't take into account that Dean didn't even believe there was a God, didn't even believe in angels until he saw one. He believed in Hell and demons but nothing else. He didn't pray for anything and then when he did, it was only because there was trouble."

"I'm not trying to demean Dean but the point is, we weren't good for each other but I turned a blind eye to that." The young hunter blinked but stayed quiet as though he knew that Cas wanted to say something. "When I first met you, I knew you prayed. You prayed every day whether you were happy, sad, and even mad. Angels hated you because a demon went into your nursery and bled into your mouth, they didn't know you. They didn't know that when you first realized that angels weren't just something you believed in, you got so cute and I could tell for a brief minute, happy. You didn't agree with Dean when it came to angels being supposedly guardian angels and only stated that they were supposed to show mercy. You are unique and a lot of angels don't see it because they only view the mistakes of the past."

Sam nodded and Castiel cupped his face, kissing him slowly and deep. Pulling back, Cas continued.

"I remember telling you I didn't want anything, I only wanted Dean but it became complicated." Sam tipped his head and Cas sighed, knowing that Sam had no idea how much he really loved him right now. "I remembered when you fell asleep that one time really exhausted and I didn't push you away because I felt a warm funny feeling. When you breathed against me, I felt like I was the most lucky person in the world even though I knew I didn't have you. When you smiled over those two months, I finally noticed that you have those dimples that help light up your whole face and anyone you love even a little bit you try to protect with all your heart. I was scared, I never felt that way before and I wasn't driving you away any time soon so a part of me had been relieved when you decided to end it."

Sam watched as Cas paused as though he was getting his thoughts together and took his hand in his. He never really heard from Cas what he felt when everything had started. He only thought that Cas was with Dean and he was going to be happy. He felt like it was only right if he let him go and he was so sick, he was literally throwing up when that happened. He didn't want him to feel burdened either. Sam couldn't help it, he broke the pause and Cas's eyes snapped to him as though shocked for the first time that he spoke up.

"I cheated." Sam could tell where Cas's thought was going with this and he quickly put up a hand. "I already liked you before we had the deal and I offered it thinking that maybe I wouldn't ever get you, but I could still have that. I only thought it would be that but I couldn't hide it anymore Cas. I fell straight into love with you and I couldn't do anything about it because I thought you loved Dean and I couldn't ruin that. The one good thing that I thought my brother had. I couldn't even tell you about the baby because I didn't want to trap you. Relationships like that don't even last so I did the only thing I could think of. I ran like I did back when I had gone to college because then I wanted to be free of my drill sergeant father. Then there was the fact that I felt like I let everyone down. I didn't even think about this possibility and when I found out about the possibility of the baby being soulless, I didn't care. I just wanted to give the baby a chance because I didn't want to kill an innocent life and the first ultrasound I saw, I knew I wasn't going to kill it and I couldn't give the baby away either. I loved it and I still do. It kind of makes sense since I love you too. And I know if we ever are separated that I could hold onto that."

Cas nodded.

"I fell for you, you know." Sam looked up again and could tell that Cas wasn't lying. These pregnancy hormones were getting to him and he felt like he was either always depressed, overly bubbly, or really really horny. He hadn't shared the last one though since he didn't think it would happen any time soon anyways. "I didn't know it before or maybe I just didn't want to let my heart go out to someone I was considering a risk but when we went to that bar and you were talking to that demon we hadn't known was a demon at the time, I was so jealous."

Cas shook his head and glared up at the sky.

"Sam we're angels. I lived for thousands of years, I was around when you were only a fetus in your own mother's womb. The people I have tried to help in the past haven't listened and I always do right by God, but sometimes I could understand why they lose faith a little. There was a little girl I was helping named Abigail. Her parents were good old believers in God. They prayed every night, they went to church. They went the whole nine yards. But Abby, she was only two years old and her mother smothered her with a pillow when she found out her husband was cheating on her. Why would she have taken it out on her little girl when her husband made the mistake? It was simple. If there was one thing that the man cared even if it was a tiny bit more than God, it was his baby. They tried for years until she came along and the mother crushed all that just to get revenge on her husband. What good is the world sometimes but then I always remember that God has a reason for everything. Even when parents take the lives of their own children-"

"God gave them free will and they failed," Sam quickly interrupted, wiping at his eyes. "They were doing everything to look good in the eye of God but when it came down to it, they were only thinking of looking good to everybody else. Pride was what they did have and that is a deadly sin. She would have been so much better with somebody else. If they gave her away-"

"The father made one mistake Sam and it was sleeping with somebody when he was devastated. You need to learn that the mistakes you made doesn't make you bad, it just makes you human. I used that to show that you are no better than anyone else, even Dean isn't an exception to this. You blame yourself for so much and you aren't even to blame. You prayed for forgiveness and stopped when you realized it was wrong. I want you to promise me that you will forgive yourself now. I love you and I want to take an entire life time to be able to prove it to you."

Sam went silent when Cas got down on one knee and whatever it was he had thought Cas was doing, he went shock still when he noticed the ring. His eyes widened and he looked down into Cas's eyes as though he was trying to read what was going on.

"I was serious in saying I want the chance Sam. I know we seem to be only taking things way too fast but we're not getting married right away, this is just a promise to do so. I love you Sam and there's no one else that I could love more than you. I'm an angel that probably outlived the dinosaurs and yet I have never met someone until now that I would actually want to ask this question to. Will you marry me?"

Sam nodded, wiping at the tears as he choked down a sob.

"Yes. I love you too."

Cas put the ring on his finger, kissing him with all the passion he had. It just so happened at the same time that Sam ended up doubling over in pain, ending it just as abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

Sam paused, letting a groan escape his lips whilst Cas yelled for someone to call for help. He would have transported him, himself but there was too much of a risk, plus he didn't know how Sam would tolerate it now that he was forty weeks pregnant.

He just hoped that the problem didn't have anything to do with the baby.

* * *

"See, I'm engaged now."

Adam shrugged and flipped the page of the medical book he was reading. His mom was still missing and he was getting nowhere in finding her, especially since one of his older brothers decided that their baby wasn't enough drama anymore and that if he added a possible labor risk, he would be back in. Thankfully the baby was still stubborn, the Winchester was staying to get monitored and Dean was a little more than freaked out. He rolled his eyes at thinking there was anything good with that logic and went back to whatever he was doing, mainly reading.

"Yeah and it was in front of a fricking laundry mat! Why the hell Cas? I thought we talked spontaneous?"

"We did and I found a moment and went with it," Cas admitted making Sam beam.

"As long as you both are happy," Adam mumbled flipping to the next page. Cas didn't even tell that Adam was being sarcastic but Dean just rolled his eyes. There was enough with that one sentence to start up several rants and he was hoping to avoid them all.

"I thought it was okay. I didn't expect it, we got to talk, and face it Dean I love him." Sam winced when he felt a kidney shot and Dean just sat back with a smug look on his face.

"See that Sam? That's what happens when we decide to do laundry when everybody else thought we were napping. The doctor is going to make you stay here until the baby is born you know. He already had to transfuse you with blood which wouldn't have been odd if you were shot but hell Sam you are really anemic and it's like you lost half a liter of blood. What aren't you telling me and I better get the truth. You already kept the fact that Cas kindly screwed you and made that thing and now you are withholding. Talk."

Before Cas could even come up with a lie or even a word, Sam did speak up.

"This was labeled a threatened abortion."

Cas looked at him in shock and Sam instead turned to the blanket, picking at loose threads and reasoning that if they got mad, he would totally deserve it. He did a lot of things but this was very stupid. He could have died several times and just because the baby was saving him. Hell the baby was the reason the demons didn't know where he was for the longest time. Adam had given up the pretense of reading and was now staring as though the day couldn't have gotten any worse and Sam thought of the first thing that came to his mind.

"I didn't want you guys to know. You told me that if I had to choose, I'd choose me but you are most obviously wrong. This baby is the best thing to ever happen to me even if some of the abilities I'm able to do thanks to it makes me cough or sometimes vomit blood. I don't mean it but at the same time, I have to take double supplements just to get enough iron and ferric acid. I have to get transfusions from either Gabriel or my blood type. But in the end of that, all I care about is the health of the baby."

Dean was silent for a moment and then after a huge sigh, he began.

"I told you that without thinking Sam and I know you love this baby but you are past your due date and you could die and there's no risk to the baby anymore if you do. Please for me, get the C-section or the induction but do something before you end up hurt-"

"Wait a second. Where's Meg?" Sam scrunched his eyebrows and Dean couldn't say a thing. He jumped when he saw that Gabriel was there but he didn't look happy at all to see anyone. He passed by Cas, laying a reassuring hand on his arm for a second before going before the bed.

"Private room, you must be a very good patient," Gabriel observed. Sam was about to open his mouth and Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I meant you are a very bad one. You're already thinking of leaving this hospital and you don't even know if there's something that could have happened to make you double up in pain. What if there's something wrong with the baby? Oh and did I mention that Meg is possibly missing."

"Meg is missing?" Sam suddenly looked shocked and before he could panic, Gabriel laid a hand on his shoulders and shook him. "Don't panic alright. I'm going to track her down and get her back. We'll even leave Adam to keep you company. I don't know what kills those he-she demons but we're going to kick some ass. Is that alright with you?"

Sam reluctantly nodded and Dean burst out in laughter.

"There's no way that you are going to get Adam to stay here. He is pissed off that we couldn't even find his mom's captors-"

"Please I fried those bitches. It was ghouls and sorry kiddo your mommy is gone."

"I have no place to go." Adam shrugged. "Guess I'm staying here then."

Dean knew that it had affected him although he wasn't showing it and sighed. Maybe Cas was right. Adam was just like him. He couldn't let his vulnerable side show because if he had then he knew that somebody could just come along and hurt him. After all that crap with his father, Sam dying, and even going to hell. He had to deal with Ruby for a while even when he got back from hell and he knew if he even briefly began to show the side that could get hurt, something like that would happen. He patted Adam's back and stood up.

"Keep a good eye on each other okay? Don't do anything stupid and most of all, don't leave the hospital. We're going to Bobby's and getting the information that we have piled up and-"

"If I stay does that mean he keeps eating my pudding and Jell-O? Hell he's been eating all my treats since I was booked."

"Sam first of all you were admitted. This isn't a jail and this most of all isn't a mental facility. Second, you could stand to stay away from the sugary snacks in the last week of pregnancy. It'll make your baby whiny and colicky."

Adam arched an eyebrow and then just went back to digging into the nice chocolaty treat.

Sam just hid under the covers and moaned.

This was going to be a long week even when they got back. He pulled the covers off and grabbed Cas by the front of the collar to bring him closer.

"Just do me a favor and get back here before the baby is born, huh? I really want you to see this."

"Of course I will. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Sam nodded.

If that was the best he could do, he could do with that for now. He needed all the support he could.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

Hunters gossiped.

Sam was just surprised that it took this long for Jo and Ellen to show up looking a little rough over the edges and mad at him for not saying anything. He sighed but what could he do? He hadn't lied so he should be in the clear.

"So you're having a baby?" Jo asked staring with wide eyes at the huge stretched stomach before him.

Sam just nodded, glaring at Adam who had stolen the hundredth snack on his tray for the last time. Ellen saw that and rolled her eyes. It was bad enough that he was getting some kind of blood transfusion every day but now he was acting childish. That was the best start when his baby was about to be born, she thought sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"You do realize that you have a baby on the way. Stop acting like a perpetulant child and actually grow up. Your baby is going to be taking up all your time when he or she is born and I don't think you realize what it's like to be a single mom or dad but I'm not judging-"

"I'm not single, I'm engaged," Sam corrected, settling for the sandwich instead.

Jo smacked his arm lightly with an excited face.

"No way! You're going to be married?" At the nod of Sam's head, she took his hand minding the sandwich in his hand and looked at the ring with interest. "That's so beautiful! I can't believe it. Are you going to continue to hunt after this? I mean-"

"Somebody still needs to take care of Lilith though," Sam admitted. "Besides it's not like my little girl is going to be hunting with me. I'm not going to let my kids hunt at all no matter what lineage they come from either."

Adam snorted.

"They follow after their parents who are their role models so it stands to reason that they will end up hunting either in their teens if you don't let them earlier or well into their adulthood. Besides your little one is half angel and I bet that she would be able to do more than your average Joe Smo could."

"She's half angel?" Ellen asked exasperatedly. She heard the rumor but never thought it had been true before. Sam just shrugged, causing her to frown. "Samuel Winchester, you better tell me that this is all a hoax and you didn't sleep with an angel-"

"He did," Adam answered for him looking bored. "His name is Castiel and according to Dean, he is very very naïve."

Jo looked at him in surprise.

"So you banged an angel. It can't be that bad right? I mean you have finally reached week forty one and your baby is going to come soon or will be induced because if you wait for the baby to come, it might never and the risk of the baby dying from being in there too long-"

"I'm waiting for Cas to get back," Sam answered truthfully. He read all the articles about the placenta disintegrating after forty two weeks and he knew if the baby was being truly stubborn then he'd have to do the right thing first.

"That's so sweet," Jo told him starry eyed. "Do you think Dean would like me at all like you like Cas?"

Sam groaned and wondered for a second why they would even think of leaving him alone here. Adam stole all his good food he considered even remotely edible and then the Harvelles asked him all these questions and expected him to answer them honestly even when it could risk hurting their feelings. He face palmed and hoped that they got back soon.

* * *

"So this is where Meg the demon bitch is hiding her lazy ass?" Dean asked and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Don't call her a bitch. She helped your brother and she didn't really have to. She could have left him to those demons that tried to kill him or whatever kind of thing they were thinking at the time." At their looks of surprise Gabriel sighed. "So I was checking up on the bugger my little bro had scored with big time. So sue me."

"Maybe I will," Cas answered and at their dubious looks, he replied, "Isn't that what you're supposed to say-"

"Just stop talking Cas," Dean said before turning back to the archangel. "The baby is more powerful than anything so what are we doing here? Besides breaking Meg free what are we doing?"

"These cult like council if filled with demons who used to be angels," Cas answered for Gabriel. "They were in league with Lucifer when he was kicked out of heaven and instead of cursing them with the same thing Lucifer gotten, they were damned to be locked forever walking the earth for eternity. Sometimes angels get twisted and after a while you get demons you can't sense because they're really angels who are twisted to the point of no return."

"Why couldn't you sense the baby though? Or Sam? Whenever we went somewhere in the past you were able to do that. I always kind of wondered why," Dean admitted.

"It was the power the baby possessed. The weaker demons killed the moms of those soulless nephilims because they could still be sensed remember? My spawn is the same way only she has a soul. After this we have to go after Lilith and find a way to kill her once and for all."

"You make it sound so easy Cas but the thing is, these warped people, what are we going to do?" Dean asked again. "After we get rid of all these dangers it isn't going to change the fact that we still have danger in our lives. I know Sam isn't saying it now but he is going to want to give up hunting to become the parent he has always wanted to be. There is no happy ending because your little boy or your little girl could end up in the same predicament that Sam was when he was six months old and our mother died on the roof of his own room!"

"Dean I would never let anything happen to Sam. I love him so much and I may not be able to be with him all the time, I will forever protect him from danger. We need to get these bad guys though before they could kill someone else-"

"Boys you shouldn't have come."

This was the last thing Dean ever expected and at that point he knew things were fucked.

"Ruby."

* * *

Sam was slowly dying of boredom.

Adam was busy typing away and eating yet another yogurt making him slowly go crazy. He turned to his side and winced in pain, quickly trying to massage the dull cramp he was feeling. He wanted Cas here. He didn't want him out helping the others and he couldn't help but feel as though he was being too selfish but he really could use the support right now. Adam thought he was way too dramatic and maybe he was right too but that didn't stop Sam from needing his fiancé.

"Are you done sulking or is this going to be going on a little longer."

Sam paused in thought and stared at him dumbly.

"I mean I may have lost my mom, found out my dad's been dead for a while but I know that it can't be too bad. I mean I miss her but I've known little kids that died from leukemia as their parents watched and any kid would dream of that not happening because it hurts their parents so much to see them like that. You must have such a tough life right now-"

"I don't. It's not so bad," Sam mustered up. "Compared to others I had a crappy child hood, you had a crappy child hood, and for damn sake Cas didn't even have a child hood. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me either, I just want Cas here. Things seem a little less scarier when you have someone here."

Adam sighed and pushed the book he was reading away from him.

"I know I'm not much but you still weren't happy with Ellen and Jo. Jo seemed really nice about it too even though you refused to tell her that Dean would never think that way about her in a million years and Ellen that you weren't going to let her be the Godmother of your first child. It would be kind of hard seeing as how you would make Dean godparent first and the angel fiancé of yours can't die of old age or some sort of accident of mortal origin." Adam leaned back and put his feet on the table. "I think you worry too much. Yeah we all have our crappy sad ending but just thinking about the past, your dad was never there and my mom wasn't there very much. We both grew up just fine though. You had something I never had in a million years though. Can't say I'm bummed about that right now."

"What do I have that you don't?" Sam asked in surprise. He always thought he was the lucky one since their dad went to baseball games with Adam and tried to keep him ignorant as much as he could. A real parent wouldn't have their children involved with the supernatural and he felt upset by the fact that their dad stopped being Sam's dad when he did find out. He became a drill sergeant and as much as he wanted to be angry, he just wanted the chance to tell the man that he didn't hate him.

"You have an older brother who was there for you in all the times that you needed him. You didn't exactly fall apart when your dad died as much because you had an older brother to help you through it. Sure you probably weren't as close but he will always be your father. Dean just comes across as tough but he is really a mushy marshmallow inside. That and he's in denial of his love for Gabriel but that didn't stop me from walking into them sexing it up on the table at the motel room now did it. I thought I was going to actually go blind."

Sam looked at him in shock.

"There's no way he would actually-"

"Yup. They did. I think they said they may like each other but those both have problems expressing their feelings. I do actually think they're good for each other but Jo could always come to me if she's interested. I certainly won't judge her. She'll need all the support she could get from me."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, seriously. I talk about this anymore and I think I might vomit." Sam really was hoping though that Adam was just being Adam. Turning over, he suddenly realized how stupid he had been. Adam lost his mom and he was not exactly hiding how he felt but he was hurt. "I'm sorry about your mom dying."

"Aren't we all? My mom may have worked a lot to get by but she was always there for me. She took me to the park and made sure I was happy. You don't see that nowadays, do you?" He seemed deep in thought for a moment and then he shrugged and turned back to the soda he had in his hand. "If it helps, I know you'll be a great parent."

Sam looked confused at that and Adam elaborated although he never was one for the touchy feely emotions. Sam realized that Cas may have hit the mark in saying that he was a lot more like Dean.

"You knew the baby was a threatened abortion and yet you gave the baby a chance, ignoring all medical advice about the risk to you because you already love the baby and now you're willing to let them cut you open just so again, you could let the baby survive and it helps that you love the man you're about to marry and all he has to do is come back and-"

He was cut off when Sam's eyes widened when he realized there was liquid trailing down his leg and he knew he hadn't peed himself. The other mystifying thing that led Sam straight to panicking was the fact that he didn't even experience a single contraction and although the thought of pain scared him, he'd take the pain if it meant everything was normal.

"I think my water just broke," he admitted to Adam who after a moment of processing what was being told to him, ran out to tell the first available nurse what was going on.

Sam saw that even Adam was panicking but it should've been okay, right? The baby needed to come and it looked like it was but looking down, the baby hadn't even moved down yet. Wasn't the baby supposed to be further down to prepare for the birth?

He knew he didn't say it often, but he just needed someone here with him.

He was really scared right now and he hoped Cas would return soon.

* * *

"So Meg how are you feeling?"

"Same as the last fifteen times you asked me Deano," Meg answered angrily. Ruby was such a very tricky demon, she'd give her that but then again, Ruby was so going to die and she would find satisfaction in being able to kill her outright. "Am I the only one that wants Ruby deader than a door nail?"

"I need to find a way to get back to Sam," Cas spoke up. "I don't know what it is but I feel there may be a problem."

"Shoulda left you there anyways," Gabriel admitted from the corner. "I mean what could Adam do? He is so so sad about his mom and they don't talk-Anyways I hope they aren't talking. That brat would owe me twenty bucks-"

"Did you bribe him with twenty bucks just so he wouldn't open his mouth about what he saw?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"Well you weren't so happy when he walked in and saw you on the table now were you?"

There was silence and Dean immediately blushed a beat red before shaking it off. He sighed realizing that he had to worry more about getting out of here instead of who he passed his time sleeping with.

"The baby might be coming soon," Cas told them. "He's forty one and four days and just the thought of being here when he gives birth would make me so mad. I know he's been calling the baby a girl but the truth of the matter is, we don't know if it could be a boy so I want to be there with him and find out at the same time. Even if it means we miss killing off Lilith."

"Lilith is probably at the hospital knowing her and we need to escape-"

"Already ahead of you," Meg said proudly. "Besides angels could kill these demons now because they're so twisted, they're demons. We attack them head on, they won't even believe they had it coming."

Cas nodded and Meg thrust the key she had been hiding into the cell door, allowing them out of the dingy no good room. She motioned for them to follow her and handed Dean the demon blade that Ruby had given them in the beginning.

"You actually took this from me?" Dean asked in masked surprise.

"Of course and look how well that helped. Now if I'm right and the baby is coming soon, we have less time to fool around. You get the demons and I'll work on getting Ruby."

Dean nodded reluctantly and even though they didn't have a plan, they rushed right in and automatically went for the offense. Lilith wasn't there and Ruby laughed when she noticed they were free and messing up her plans once again.

"You are really stupid you realize that right? Lilith couldn't possibly want a baby like that and you just killed everyone in the council even though you could have banished them again but then you probably would have hated having to wait for some poor sap to come along and fuck it up letting them take siege of the world. Am I right or am I right?"

Meg yanked her arms behind her back and Dean dived in, twisting the blade in her stomach. Ruby laughed again but it got caught in her throat as the blade did it's work. Meg released her on the floor and watched as the last member of the demons arrived and he didn't look happy.

"So you killed everyone in this dump, good for you. I wanted to rid them for centuries and you finally helped. Now I guess the peace treaty or whatever form of agreement you want in writing needs to be done."

Cas smiled grimly.

"You think you could prevent Lilith from doing any more damage? I mean you came back from being banished because my baby was made and you didn't attack Sam when you could've so that leaves a lot to explain but-"

"But my job being cursed to what I was was to watch over the people Castiel. Many times I see things that nobody has ever even bothered to think of. Seeing the fact that there are still humans out there willing to do things for others for unselfish reasons makes me change though. I will always believe that Lucifer was right to rebel but do I think all humans are scum anymore? Definitely not. I won't do anything to disrupt anyone but if you go after any of the remaining after I agree not to attack, maim, or kill anyone good, I won't rest until you're dead."

Cas nodded.

"Consider it a I don't attack you and you leave everyone to peace. That doesn't stop the fact that we have to go after Lilith though, I am afraid. Stop your demons from trying to get to my baby and my fiancé though."

"Fiancé huh? Now that's something I don't hear every day. Fine, consider it done." With a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

Cas would have been happier but his cell phone happened to ring at the exact time that he started feeling relieved.

"Hello?"

The others gazed on with uncertainty knowing that the phone call couldn't have come at the worst time.

"What? Why would they take Sam to surgery for a prolapsed cord?"

Apparently the bad luck wasn't ending at all and before Cas could get another word in, Gabriel interrupted.

"It doesn't matter if you don't understand what it is Cas. You need to be there for him right now. He's probably scared and face it, I would be too if I was that heavy around the waist line and somebody wanted to cut me open without anyone I know I could count on around. He needs our support and in fact he probably wants you to hold his hand and tell him everything is gonna be alright. No matter how sappy that is, you love him so it works."

Cas nodded and with a flap of wings, he was no longer there.

Turning to the rest, Gabriel smiled brightly.

"Who's ready for a baby to be born tonight?"


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

Cas caught up with them as they were wheeling Sam into surgery. The wide eyed terrified look was enough to break the angel and he wished he had been here. He had dried blood caked on his trench coat again and looking it over, Sam didn't say anything about it but he knew what Sam was going to do once he was allowed off bed rest. His hands twined in Sam's hand and he smiled although he knew Sam was very nervous.

"So when it comes down to it, we're going to meet our baby tonight and it happens to be a Thursday." Cas smiled at the irony in that and placed a kiss on his forehead to show that he loved him. He was still scared but he knew there was a remarked improvement in the fact that he was no longer looking terrified although he was still scared. "I want you there with me. I want you to hold my hand and be there. Can you do that?"

Cas looked at several of the nurses who shared a look before finally nodding. One of the nurses pushed Cas into a room and threw him some green scrubs and seeing that this was the only option for being there with Sam, he quickly removed his clothes minus the boxers and donned the scrubs. He then followed the nurse who was waiting outside for him to the operating room and was told he was only allowed to stay at the head while the doctor worked.

"It's going to be okay," Cas whispered to Sam.

He took his hand in his and waited with baited breath for this to be over and for the baby to finally come. He was glad that the baby was finally coming and that Sam didn't seem to be having any complications. The nurse who was monitoring his vitals would have said something by now, Cas realized and his fears of losing Sam had been completely unfounded.

"They say that the baby's heartbeat slowed down," Sam whispered the update.

Cas nodded, rubbing his hand in soothing circles. The procedure had already begun and the thing he had waited for was coming faster than he ever thought possible. He also wanted to distract Sam who thought that their child was in real danger. It took a lot less than Cas felt it had before he could hear the sound of wailing. Smiling down at Sam, he kissed him slowly, enjoying the taste of his fiancé against him.

"She's perfectly healthy." The doctor interrupted and looking at Sam, he realized that there was nothing more he could ask for. He had Sam and now he had a daughter. "Would you like to hold her?"

Sam accepted the baby although Cas helped him support her since the spinal block given to him prior to the procedure made him feel numb. He still felt happy seeing her for the first time. She was perfect with a head full of hair, honestly he didn't think a baby could be born with so much and she had Cas's eyes. His great big blue orbs and he loved it. She had Sam's dimples and his nose. She had Cas's lips though and his chin. He could look all day if he had to to find out which trait she got from whom but in the end, it didn't matter because she was theirs.

"Hi Faith. I'm your daddy," he finally said, eyes tearing at the emotion behind that. Cas kissed him on the cheek and settled a nice little kiss on her forehead. She just wrinkled her eyebrows at that and Sam almost laughed right there. She was definitely going to fit in well. Raising a fist to her mouth, she sucked it alerting the nurses that they had yet to do some of the things that needed to be done before they took her to the nursery.

Sam kissed Cas chastely on the lips one more time before Cas was led out. He was okay with that since they let him witness anything at all. He smiled brightly once he saw the others, realizing for once that everything was going their way.

"Well Faith is extremely healthy."

Meg punched him on the arm.

"She's a fighter ain't she? Tell Sam I would have loved to see that little cute rebel but I have to head out," she told him making Cas raise an eyebrow. "Please I need to take my shot with Lilith and you know more than anyone that even though I loved having spent the months possible to protect that little girl and Sam, I am a demon. The next time we meet up, we won't be so friendly."

"That's a lie, you're just afraid of getting close." She turned in disbelief of what Cas accused her of but he continued. "If you really wanted to be an enemy you'd attack now when everyone was vulnerable. My baby had a prolapsed cord and her heart rate dropped. You thought something bad might happen and you probably were prepared but she's fine. She is more than fine actually and she's a big baby. Normal sized for a half angel child but would have probably sucked if Sam had to push her out. Another thing for the C-section was the fact that she was stubbornly refusing to engage and the fact that she was in a weird position to start with. I just got to be in the room when my daughter came into the world and you don't even want to see the kid that made Sam want sweet things? I know you're scared but don't punish Sam because you don't want to get hurt."

"I'm touched that you think that way Clarence but I'm a demon. I demean people and I realized from Ruby that a demon is only good when they are looking out for number one. Your baby is a miracle and I realize that, but I'm not included. I'm a demon and one day your baby girl will be such an asset when I take over hell. Good day to you though. Oh and everything that ever happened between the times you hadn't known Sam was carrying your kid? I thought multiple times of giving him up to those demons but each time I thought of them as double crossers. I'll show myself out."

She knew she should have explained better for Sam's sake but as she head out the door, she knew that this was the only thing keeping that little baby safe. If she wasn't around, the baby wouldn't be targeted. And bringing down Lilith would make demons that hated her target those she cared about most. Taking one last look at the door, she couldn't help but let a smile drop realizing that people may have changed and Sammy boy was now a proud daddy, she never stopped thinking of those big boy idiots. She shouldn't care but she did and because she did, she was protecting them in the end.

* * *

"Hey okay listen because I'm only going to say this once, Sam and Cas are getting married." Dean said and Gabriel looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I know Sammy boy was PMSing when he told me because he cried at the same time as inviting me-"

"He was not PMSing, he was pregnant." Dean corrected rolling his eyes. "The thing is, I pass up getting close to a lot of people and the one angel I was with because I can't commit. I don't get close enough because then I could get my heart broken. I hate that and I don't want it to happen ever again. The thing is though that I can't do that anymore. If I keep myself closed off just so I don't risk anything I'll never ever be happy. I can't do that Gabriel so I'm putting my heart out and hoping that you don't turn me down because if it's one thing I noticed you are afraid of commitment too-"

"Save the whole speech and please just tell me if I knocked you up," Gabriel interrupted closing his eyes.

Dean rolled his eyes once again.

"I think I could be. I mean it's been two months since Sam got out of the hospital and that little girl is just to the point of making me wish I could be sterile or more importantly you could be because having kids, that girl cries a lot."

"If you're pregnant then what do we do?" Gabriel suddenly asked. "I mean I would marry you but then again there's always the chance that one of my brothers will be even more pissed off since you know, they weren't so happy with babysitting Cas's spawn either. Must be the fact that all she does is cry, eat, and poop."

"As with all normal babies," Dean input helpfully.

"Yeah, good thing you aren't the emotional type. I mean when was the last time-"

"At the same time I thought about leaving Sam in the middle of the woods for a split second so that I could get a moment of peace without dealing with a post-partum brother who spends almost every waking moment too emotional for my liking."

"Yeah, I thought that too briefly then I remembered that Cas would really kill me and then I met up with you."

"We have got to stop all that now that I might be pregnant. I mean kids are the future and I don't want to be like my dad. I mean he wasn't horrible like Sam seems to think but who is to say that I could be worse-"

Gabriel cut him off by pulling him forward by his shirt and kissing him hard and deep. Sighing into the kiss, he started to remove the buttons of his own shirt, helping Gabriel with his. Breaking apart for much needed oxygen, Dean quickly pulled Gabriel's shirt over his head as the archangel did the same for him. He then unbuttoned his own pants letting Gabriel help him pull it down along with his boxers. Gabriel happily took his own off pushing Dean backward into his bed. He paused seeing the bump already and sighed. He was really going to be a daddy and by putting that there, he was saying he really did love the guy even though he too had problems relating to others. He guessed that they fit together after all seeing as one simple talk about feelings set them off into thinking about things they wanted to kill and the only exceptions that they made were the two goof balls getting married.

Dropping down to kiss him again, he pulled the blanket over them and noticed that Dean was more tired than he had let on anyways. There were times that he thought he had fallen in love and when he went with it, he usually had his heartbroken. The times that did that made him pretend to be someone else thinking that would make him happy even if it was at the expense of loving someone so much. He never did act with Dean there. He did whatever he wanted and sometimes Dean exploded leading to very hard sex or he came to an understanding and accepted it. He couldn't find anybody in any other bit of time that was this accepting and he found he loved every second of it.

And with a new baby on the way, maybe he could spend every second of that with him.

* * *

"So you propose what?" Cas was probably deaf because he spent the last five minutes with a crying three month old who screamed into his ears until he got her the bottle that she was currently feeding from right that minute.

"A double wedding silly. You have a baby and I have my spawn on the way so I thought why wait until the spawn was out to tie the knot. I mean my baby would ruin the fun honey moon I would want after wards so I propose double wedding."

"I'm just a little surprised seeing as how both you and Dean don't usually do the com-"

"Don't say the c word little bro. I may just let your little girl be watched by Anna again. Do you realize how much Anna could do to traumatize a baby in little as two minutes?"

"That wasn't very funny-"

"I know I was gonna go with five but Anna happens to be very good at what she does." Gabriel answered wondering how he could keep such a straight face even when Cas looked pissed to hell mad.

"Well Faith is a good girl most of the time so I don't see how you could punish me for something so little as," he paused seeing Gabriel raise an eyebrow as though daring him. He finally lamented with, " the c word."

"It's very big. Once you have it, you are responsible to keep it. Neither Dean or I are good at it but together we're better. Besides Deano isn't it better to have this then worry about the other going to a bar and shacking up with the first whore that comes along?"

"Your made up girls are counted as cheating too." Dean told him with a smirk. Cas suddenly felt like he was eavesdropping on something big and tried to sneak off until Gabriel grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back into his seat. Bobby was glaring and Cas knew he probably should find a way to convince Sam that he needed help.

"Hey, that reminds me." Dean quickly put a bottle of pills in front of Cas getting him to blink and to look at him in surprise.

"What is this?"

"You crush them up and put them in Sam's orange juice then you won't have to worry about getting him help. These are antidepressants and they will be your friend for the next six months or until Sam realizes that he should c word himself to taking the pills on his own."

"You know you could say what the c word is you know," Cas told them very slowly.

"Hell no, I'm perfectly happy with what I have." Turning to Gabriel, Dean smiled for a moment before saying, "You want that double wedding I need a ring."

"Oh yeah. I knew I was forgetting something. You like?" he asked taking out a ring from the pocket of his jacket and Dean's face fell realizing that he was strung along in the beginning. "Not as romantic as a laundry mat confession but I would like to spend the rest of our daunting lives together. Maybe not every day since I'm back to having angelic duty and you probably have to get a job to support that expanding waist line but we'll manage. What do you say? Will you marry me?"

Dean reached forward and kissed him as his answer and although he normally hid his happiness he could not believe this was finally happening.

Cas took the pills and headed to the room where Sam was putting pictures of Faith into a baby book. He realized that even though the two were afraid to say the word, they were very committed to each other and he loved Sam so much, he wasn't going to trick him into anything. Sam was his world as was Faith and seeing the little girl looking peaceful even though she was sleeping brought a smile to his lips. He paused at the door frame and watched Sam constructing it. When he spotted him however, Sam smiled softly bringing to light the fact that he wasn't suffering from post-pregnancy blues all the time.

"Sam I love you and I know that you don't like admitting that you need help very often but I or more technically, Dean got you antidepressants. They will help, I just don't want you to suffer any more than you truly have to. Oh and we may be having a double wedding since Gabriel and Dean got engaged and asked oh so nicely."

"You really think the antidepressants will help? It has nothing to do with asking for help, I just don't want to look weak in your eyes." Looking at Cas's piercing blue eyes, the same thing he saw every time he looked at his baby's, he didn't think he could handle it if Cas looked at him differently. He could tell that Adam did even though he was more than happy to help out when he could.

"I know it will and Sam I will look at you the same way I've always done. With a lot of love and if that ever changes, well I know it won't be because of you. Because I love you more than I could ever explain or reason, even think. I don't know what I would do without you so the fact that you think I would look at you differently is wrong. You are my world, you and Faith and that will never change even when Uriel says that our baby looks like an annoying little version of us."

"It didn't really hurt did it?" Sam smiled a little and then grabbed the bottle of pills and read the label. Obviously he was still using the last name Winston since his entire pregnancy, he went by that name. "I still can't believe the blood I was losing was because of an ulcer."

"You were stressed and you didn't know. Thankfully angels being around, one helping you and our baby inside you, kept you from dying and they did find it. If they hadn't I would have lost you."

"You were worried about me dying because I was carrying your baby and I turned out fine," Sam paused and Cas blinked. "Ever thought about having any more children in the future?"

Cas paused never really having thought it. Realizing that he was with the person he loved, he knew that he could even though he didn't know when he would be ready for more, he certainly knew he could if it was with him. He pulled him into a soft chaste kiss realizing not for the first time that he had somebody he could count on that could also make him so very happy.

He never realized until now more than ever how he would have been had he never met Sam.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

"Weddings can't be that hard to plan," Dean commented looking over Sam's shoulder. He was quite happy that he toned down the melodrama which was caused after the birth of his daughter. Dean was quite affronted thinking about how his baby could be but decided that it didn't matter much and that he was probably needing to hit the clinic soon since he was way bigger than Sam was at this time. His baby wasn't soulless so that couldn't be it.

"Maybe you're carrying twins," Sam supplied with an eye roll.

Just as Dean was going to remark how awfully big Sam's stomach still was, Faith started to cry and Sam sighed before lifting her out of her seat, bouncing her on his knees as he went back to the stack before him. Dean looked amused before realizing that they were bills from the hospital under Sam's alias Sam Winston. They hadn't really been careful enough and Sam was going to need to start paying it off if he didn't want his credit to drop tremendously. He seemed to love using that name the most. Sadly enough Faith's last name had been baby girl Winston and even now she was stuck with that on her birth certificate until they either gave Cas a last name or he changed it to Winchester.

"I hate bills. Does that mean I need to pick a last name as well-"

"No it means going to the clinic and actually finding out if your spawns are going to be born," Sam told him straight and Dean rolled his eyes.

"You are so funny but don't think I could do that Sammy. Besides I'm sure this one baby is just a little big because hey, it's not going to be a little dwarf girl-"

"You think my daughter is really a dwarf?" Sam asked disbelievingly. "She was born nine pounds, three ounces!"

"Wow it's a good thing you got a C-section after all then. Of course if you ever want another kid you should get used to it and stop being a whiny bitch."

"Yeah well you're still a jerk," Sam finished lamely. He quickly placed her back into her seat, propping the bottle so that she could feed from it. "Cas is still looking for any signs of Lilith. We can't give up on her now because we never really thought that she would start breaking seals. Seals that could break Lucifer from the cage and on top of that I have a wedding I'm planning alone and the bills-"

Dean looked seriously put out.

"You're not going to cry again are you?" he asked and Sam was a little shocked. He knew his brother didn't like chick flick moments but if anything he possibly gotten even meaner.

"You know pregnancy makes you very mean."

"Well noted so how are we going to do any of those? What do you want to tackle first, the wedding planning or the bills-Forget that I'm getting married on the same day and I want to make sure it isn't too girly because then it'd be embarrassing."

"Dean I was actually thinking of getting married in front of the justice of peace. I don't think it's that big a deal. The proposal was because it meant that Cas still believed I was worth something but I'm already a full time daddy now. I don't see a over pricey ceremony as something to be excited by-"

"How are we even related? There's free alcohol at weddings-"

"Which you can't can't drink," Sam pointed out exhaustedly.

"I can drink a little bit, I'm sure," Dean retorted before picking up the papers and taking a look at them himself. He never really thought much about the bills in a hospital that would cost that much. Shoot, it was expensive enough just for the procedure to save the poor little thing, he didn't realize the room stay and food had cost so much as well. He dropped them back onto the table and watched Sam dive through them again with a sigh.

"I'm just trying to keep things straight." Sam admitted effortlessly.

"Yeah and you're doing a perfect job of it. Hey look, say hello to uncle Uriel Faith."

Sam groaned but lightened up a little when he saw Cas with him and an angel they did not know. He didn't have time to ponder what it was before they went over to them in such a businesslike fashion that Dean could have sworn that Cas wasn't aware that he fucked Sam almost every chance he had for the two months' time period in which Faith had been created. He didn't want to create a lot of problems though so he let them handle their own and handled his with Gabriel quite well.

"We have a problem." Cas started out.

"Yes and one of them begins with the letter F," The unknown angel said before rolling his eyes realizing that Cas hadn't gotten it. "You completely ignored the rules of heaven and now you have that little spawn. The apocalypse is the least of our worries right now though."

"You know Rudy?" Uriel asked in his mocking nice tone.

Sam nodded and Dean looked confused.

"He's not one of the demons cursed to walk earth is he? He helped me in the laundry mat one time." Sam answered and at their looks elaborated. "I was forty weeks pregnant and couldn't bend down to save my life, he helped me with the laundry and that was all."

Sam forgot not all angels were as clueless as Cas was although it was reassuring since he knew that Cas was still faithful. Whatever they were about to talk to them about had to be important or else they wouldn't be talking to them.

"One of Rudy's lesser demons did something and the contract would have been torn but the thing is Rudy didn't know about it. He wasn't associated with this whatsoever but the thing is, the demon wants to change the past and change the future by doing it. He wants to prevent Faith's birth. Armani is a reckless but nonetheless very dangerous demon. He is older than demons like Ruby and Meg but not as old as Lilith. Maybe a century or two between them but that is enough to have us worried. We need to find him in time and grab him-"

"Cas in case you were wondering we have a baby now, whose going to babysit her on such short notice-OW!"

Dean smiled.

"Don't worry he's being a parent and that is normal except when Gabe switched his antidepressant one morning with a sugar pill and then he was crying along with the baby. Not a very pleasant sight and we learned that maybe we should let him be. At least we wouldn't feel bad enough to lose him in Mexico."

"I repeat pregnancy has made you a cold dick," Sam snapped at him coldly and Dean just laughed as though the thought alone was funny.

"I could be a lot of things," he replied.

"As fun as this is we need you two to go to the past and Castiel will escort you there and watch you. If you want or feel safer, you could take Gabriel along. He's not someone we would boss around being he has more rank above us-"

"Did someone say trip to the past? Darn they ruined my honey moon surprise for you honey."

Both angels and Sam stared in complete surprise before Sam rubbed a tired hand over his red exhausted eyes. He quickly snatched the bottle and placed Faith on his shoulder, rubbing her back. He shouldn't have felt relieved to be able to go someplace that would allow him some time for his baby but a little piece of him did. He wondered if that made him a bad parent. Looking at his own flesh and blood though, she almost seemed like a doll, something fragile and something that could be broken if handled the wrong way. He knew that it absolutely wasn't true and she wasn't entirely vulnerable but he still worried about her every second of every day and he wondered idly if Cas did too. He was her dad too.

"Can I hold her really quick?" Cas asked and Sam smiled realizing that no matter what mission he had or whatever he was doing, she was always on his mind as well.

Cas kissed her on her cheek and smiled at Sam as though reading his thoughts.

"Sometimes when you're both sleeping I rock her in the chair that Bobby had gotten. I can never spend enough time with you and anytime we're apart makes me realize how much more I love you." He quickly placed a quick kiss upon Sam's lips and then turned to Uriel with the diaper bag to Sam's surprise.

"You do remember the crash course I gave you on babies correct?" Uriel grunted glaring at Sam as though it was his fault although Sam was still frozen with the thought of going to the past to stop some demon from hurting this time line. He didn't even know he had to leave Faith behind but Cas continued as though he hadn't seen the look of shock on his face. "Don't leave her around Anna and if she is, don't let her traumatize her. Anna's voice scares my little girl."

Dean rolled his eyes and clapped Gabriel on the shoulder before going up and handing Faith to Uriel and passing the diaper bag to the unknown angel. The no name angel glared but Dean didn't particularly care before returning Cas to his brother and snatching Gabriel's wrist before turning to the ones that seemed to know the most about this, mostly Cas and Uriel one of whom had a disgruntled baby in his arms.

"What year are we going to anyways?"

Cas sighed seeing the start of Faith beginning to cry.

"2002."

Sam's eyes widened.

"Does it have to really be the year that I left for Stanford?"

"Keep it up, I bet they hadn't realized how very very young and vulnerable you were," Dean retorted with a smile.

Sam glared.

"I know I don't tell you often how mean you are but you are very very cruel even more than normal."

Gabriel just laughed and spun him around only to have Cas touch an index finger to Sam's forehead. The next thing he remembered, he was moving from the middle of the road before he was hit by a car. It was dark unlike a minute ago and he sighed hoping that Cas was nearby. He wasn't and it was pouring down pretty hard.

"Cas!" He sighed.

He suddenly realized that he left his antidepressants at home and suddenly cursed. This was a bad bad day in paradise and it looked like it was only getting worse. Sighing he trudged along the way hoping that he could eventually find somebody to offer up enough information about a motel.

* * *

"I'm fucking cold out here!" Dean sighed.

Gabriel was not in sight anymore and he had no idea where he had gone. This was weird like some weirdo magic had been involved and he could only swear. Somehow Rudy, that cruddy demon angel had to be behind this. He paused seeing something move and stayed perfectly still. He didn't think things would get worse from here but now maybe he should believe karma and stop being a douche. Sam was going through a hard time and sure he was sick of his 'don't leave me, I won't be able to survive and I'll do absolutely anything just so you won't' attitude but he knew Sam was scared and he hadn't helped him at all. It was pretty low even for him and Sam was right. Maybe the baby he was carrying was making him a little bit mean. He was just freaking out about the baby possibly having no soul and he couldn't bring himself to go find out whether he was one month or four.

Sighing he swiped a hand over his forehead and could only curse Sam's self-sacrificing behavior. Sure, he got that he loved Cas, he really did but Cas could stand to be nicer to him. The days that he hadn't known where he was were purely miserable. He was happy that Meg had been around to take care of him more than he admitted. She made him feel confident and he could tell that by the fact that the first day they saw him again, he was radiating with it at first. Maybe he was just afraid of losing the angel he loved so much but he needed to risk it.

"You need a ride?"

Dean turned and quickly cursed before turning away. He forgot that his dad and him had split up when he had fool heartedly thought he could take on one of those skin walkers down in Pensacola during this time. His dad didn't have to know that he wasn't talking to the son of the present right now though, did he? He sighed again before turning around and seeing the father he never thought he'd see again. It was weird, even years later, it still hit him that he didn't have his father to get advice from when he was stumped. The fact that he gave his life for Dean made him an asshole because again, he was a self-sacrificing idiot but he couldn't help but tear up a little at seeing the man he had grown up admiring.

"Dad."

"Cut the crap Dean, where'd you leave the Impala? I give you a car and you aren't even being responsible with it-"

"It's good to see you dad," he said before he could stop himself.

John stopped and snorted.

"Just get in the car and I would lay off the cheeseburgers. I think you've gained weight a little bit since I last saw you."

Dean listened and quickly shut the passenger door of the truck shut behind him. He remembered in the very beginning how Cas had taken him to the past once before and he saw that his mother had been a hunter as well. He wondered if his dad had ever found out or if he still was ignorant to that fact even now. He was a great hunter and not many could compare but if he had to guess, the reason that Sam and their father never got along was because they were too much alike without that sometimes it was scary. Sam was a lot like him and he had his pride but most times he pushed it down to listen to what Dean had to say and that was the only thing that he did that their father never had and he loved Sam for that. He could be stubborn, prideful, and argumentative, but he listened to others without interruption and he took it into account. He wanted normal but he knew when he couldn't have it and didn't let it defeat him. Hell he was happy with an angel now for crying out loud and Dean was finally happy now too.

"Dean are you okay?"

Dean quickly snapped out of it to notice his dad glancing out of the corner of his eyes, watching him and Dean nodded, allowing a tiny smile to grace his lips.

"I know that this sounds pretty weird but have you ever believed in angels?"

"Are you on something? What did I say about drugs?"

"If you found out, you'd crack the belt over my ass no matter how old I was," Dean replied with an eye roll. "I'm not high, I was just wondering what your thoughts were on angel lore."

"If they exist, I sure as hell haven't seen any. Dean I know you're looking for guidance and you probably want answers too but don't give up. We'll avenge your mother and Sammy is okay. I visited him last weekend and he's okay."

"You never let him know that you are though, don't you?" Dean didn't know why he was angry all of a sudden and it was then that he remembered the conversation he had had with Bobby one time about John and Sam when he was complaining about the fact that Sam was doing something bad and he had been thinking about giving him an ultimatum. He didn't understand Sam and the one who did the raising most of the time when they weren't with Bobby was Dean. Dean didn't ask to be a parent but it seemed he was forced into the role and the thing was, every time he snapped at Sam, Sam listened to him but he argued with their dad constantly. Nothing John ever did ever held any weight because it was Dean that told Sam the final no and Dean that handed out the punishments and the rewards when he had listened. It wasn't John and Sam never even seen the caring side of him since before Sam even knew that monsters existed. At eight years of age, John stopped being his father altogether and became a drill sergeant full time. He suddenly understood Sam's reason for leaving.

"Come on you know as well as I do that he chose to leave. I told him if he wanted to leave that he couldn't come back. You know I didn't really mean that but Sam's sticking to that and there's nothing I could do to stop him now could I?"

Dean smiled grimly before he frowned.

"I think it's more than that dad? What's Sam's favorite color? What does he like to eat? Who was his first girlfriend? Did he ever get heartbroken? Why did he fail that one test when we know he's smart and he studied so damn hard for it? He's smart and he studied more than you wanted him to but why would he outright get a sixty five when we know he put so much effort in it? What's his eye color? What were his dreams? Did he want to have children someday? You may not show that you love him and it shows through. He doesn't know and even when you finally get snuffed by the same things you hunt, he'll blame himself, feeling that you thought he hated you when in reality you never let him know how much he was worth to you. And to make it worse, you don't know that stuff because you never really raised him, no you left that job to me. Sammy is he who he is because I raised him to be the selfless caring human being that just wanted to see if he could survive on his own besides being in the shadows of his father and his big brother and continuing with the thought that he would never amount to anything!"

"Dean that's nonsense. I love both you boys so much and I've done the best I could in the situation I had but you have to realize that the demon is going to target your brother and I couldn't allow him to be vulnerable-"

"What part of that excuses you from actually telling Sam you love him even once in your miserable life?" Dean asked angrily. "I'm not Sam, I don't need to hear it often because I don't do well with that but this is coming from someone who knows Sam more than you do and I'm his brother damn it. He needs to hear it from you. He needs to hear the I love you's and the I'm sorry. I don't need him thinking that he's worthless because he failed you when you died and you know what dad? I am not sorry that I'm saying all this. I think I went on too long ignoring everything and just trying to play mediator so that the fights will just stop but I've always wanted to say this. I know Sam isn't perfect either but him questioning you got you second guessing yourself on a number of hunts and you found things that you would have never looked for had Sam hadn't done that. The thing is I know you're mad right now but someday you're gonna see it and then it's gonna be too late and Sam will never recover from it. Never. Stop the car."

"Dean you're being unreasonable-"

"STOP THE CAR!" John stopped it and Dean got out angrily wishing that he hadn't just started this fight with his own father because when they went back to the future, he wouldn't be there but right now, he just didn't want to face him. He massaged the upcoming headache and wished that he wasn't saying these things but for some reason he suddenly knew how Sam felt when he whimpered every time someone touched him. Feeling as though he knew everything about Sam was just plain torture and one that left him hating what their father did but even more, part of him blamed Sam too because he spoke up about a lot of things but for once when it came to something Sam was doubting, he never once spoke up to anyone.

And he knew Sam carried the guilt for a long time too.

"Dean, okay I'll be quiet and you could listen to whatever station you want. I could drop you off wherever you want too."

"I have to meet up with a couple of hunters I got separated with." Dean told him as though he didn't care what he was saying.

"How about this. We call a truce and I help you look for them."

Dean stopped and turned around.

"Fine. But I need to sleep, I'm exhausted and my shoes are killing me right now."

John looked a little bit surprised but when Dean turned around, John instantly opened the door for him and Dean entered with a smug little grin. John shook his head and closed the door after him.

Some things would never change and Dean not being arrogant was one of them.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Sam was wet, cold, and now he was feeling rather down too. Shivering against his hoody, he thought he saw a sign for a motel up ahead and internally sighed with relief. That meant that he only had a little more to go, he convinced himself. Thinking back to the time period he was in now, he knew his past self was in school and that his brother along with his dad were off still fighting monsters that went bump in the night. He wondered idly where Cas was and where he would go. How he could even go and leave him like this when he was against leaving their daughter in the first place.

He was glad when he reached the motel and entered into the main office, shivering slightly but appreciating the warmth that the building was giving. His lips trembled and he knew that he would probably be getting sick soon if he didn't dry off and change out of his wet clothes but he was too busy looking to get some sleep as well. Going to his pockets to pull his wallet out, he realized just now that he didn't have his wallet on him. He must have dropped it or maybe he forgot it in the future and only then did he let himself groan in frustration. Here he was dripping wet and now he wouldn't be able to afford anything let alone a simple motel room. He had nothing as well. No identifications, no credit cards, and certainly no cash.

"Hey are you going to wait here all night? You better not be one of those stupid homeless bums hoping to crash here for the night. I don't care if it's raining. My dad will be back in fifteen minutes and by then, if you have no business, that would be the best time to leave."

The girl behind the counter refused to look his way after that, smacking pink bubble gum in her mouth and Sam almost had high hopes that he wouldn't be forced to probably walk to one of the homeless shelters or something. He sighed and resigned himself that he could always say that his scar from the C-section was burning and was inflamed but then he would have to walk to the hospital and he was positively numb.

"Hey did you not listen to me? You have five minutes and then my daddy is gonna kick your ass-"

"Yeah, just let me-let me warm up a little bit alright," Sam snapped putting a hand to his forehead. He felt warm all of a sudden and he was so dizzy he couldn't tell left from right let alone up from down. He let out a gasping breath and the next thing he knew the girl was helping him into a chair and loosening his sweatshirt.

"We need to get you out of these clothes!" She told him like she thought it would be a hindrance more than anything else. "What were you doing walking out in the pouring rain? You're absolutely drenched! And to make it worse, you're burning up."

Sam fought her as she tried to remove the sweatshirt. He didn't know why but he felt less compelled when his brother or someone he knew did it and in his mind she was only a stranger. He couldn't really trust her in his mind and after a minute she huffed and walked away leaving him there. Breathing heavily, he tried to get control of his breathing when he heard the door open up and it looked to be another customer instead of her daddy who she kept threatening would be hurting him. He started panting when he realized there was a possibility of him throwing up. But when he went to move, he found that he felt heavy and he couldn't move a single pinky much less be able to try.

"Who is that?"

"Just some idiot who got drenched," the girl replied with anger. "I tried to help him because he's burning up and not feeling too hot but he refused so I'll wait until morning or get the police to take him to a hospital. Daddy will be mad if someone stopped breathing on our property."

The man seemed to find her attitude annoying as well. He felt the man move closer and felt a cool hand against his forehead. His head was achy and stuffy but the hand was cool and he believed it helped some. He opened his eyes blearily and was surprised at who he saw he thought he was hallucinating.

"Dean? Did Cas and Gabriel get back alright?"

"Sam what the hell are you doing out of school?"

Sam snorted.

It figured.

Even here karma came back and bit him in the ass. He closed his eyes and found himself drifting off even though he very vaguely felt himself getting shaken and the shouting of his ears was already faint. He let himself fall into nothingness, his breathing stilled for a moment.

And then he remembered nothing else.

* * *

Dean cursed and saw that John was not letting up on the questions and he had to rack his brain to remember what his past self was doing at the time. He had to curse the evil state of Florida. He now knew why he hated it and he wanted to forget about it as soon as he got back to the future where he belonged. John was still asking something and Dean shook his head and sighed. His head was killing him, he couldn't find Sam and he had to know where Sam was so he didn't go crazy with the worry he would never let himself show, and he was going to kick Gabriel's ass. It was his kid behind the reason he was feeling these emotions. And by emotions he meant that he was feeling what everyone else was thinking. It was annoying as hell. Like right now, he was feeling the pride with a mix of disappointment.

Well right back at you, you fucking hypocrite, he thought. He was getting to know his father a lot more than he had before and he didn't want to. Leaning back, he let his eyes closed and then awoke with a start when he realized that he was in the state of California.

"Where are we going dad?"

"I had a feeling….I just wanted to check on Sammy. You know even after everything you told me, I can't help it. I love that kid to bits and please don't yell or interrupt but he's always been rebellious and I know that. I guess a part of me thought that for once he would have put family first and not have gone. It hurt when he left Dean and even more, I know how much it hurt you because you spent the most time with him. I didn't like how I placed everything on you when it came to protecting Sammy but it had to be done, there was no way I could make this better. I'm sorry."

Dean took a deep breath.

"If you love him so much why tell him not to come back if he left?" Dean asked softly.

At that John allowed himself a smile of his own.

"I called a bluff and he didn't hesitate to show his cards. To this day I will always wish that I hadn't said that but it's been done and I could only hope that my son won't pick things to fight me on with everything-"

"Why are you telling me all this? You never do," Dean blurted out before he could stop himself.

He knew what it was.

It was the damn unborn baby of his and it was pissing him off! How Sam could stand it whenever Faith was doing the little thing of hers and causing Sam to do all sorts of things, he would never understand but then again, he had the patience when it came to Castiel and Dean just clicked better with Gabriel because with them it wasn't all about feelings and more about knowing the other cared even if they hadn't shown it. Still it didn't cease his irritation and before long even his dad thought something was up.

"Dean? You keep glaring at your stomach and if that was the only thing, I wouldn't worry but you've been acting weird all night. Anything you want to mention son?"

Dean was still cursing in his head when he replied.

"No dad, everything is perfectly fine-"

"I find it odd that you have been disrupting every order that I gave so far and doing your own thing. Did you even take care of the case I sent you on in Florida?"

"Uh, no. Not yet. I was going to but then I lost track of time," Dean winced when he realized how much truth in the sentence was actually there. They did have a case, only it was Lilith and time did interrupt his hunting her. That and the stupid baby.

"Seriously are you pregnant now? Please don't say you are because I don't think I could stomach being a grandpa so soon. I want you and Sam to find someone you love and I would like it when you and Sam are safe-"

"You know what? I don't care about your being temporarily unable to lie or the fact that I've looked up to you all my life. The one thing you seriously messed up on was when you tried to mention how there was no worries after the yellow eyed demon because there will always be others. We will never be safe and you know what? I think I suddenly realized how much of a douche you were after that one incident and no you can't ask and I won't tell you. It caused realizing how much self-esteem Sammy really had to know the truth too!"

"Sam has a lot of self-esteem Dean. For hell's sake, he went off to fucking college!"

Dean was glad that the man had pulled over and got out of the car.

"I bet you would put your money on that but no he left because you again put it in his head that he was incapable of being anything else. He got straight a's in school and you got onto him about not being a good hunter. Hell he gets to be a better hunter and you hound him on other things. I would normally be hurting you by now because anyone that hurts Sammy and I already gave Castiel my blessings but if you think that that man of his crosses one toe out of line that I won't do anything differently-"

Dean paused blinking and realized he accidentally slipped.

"Who are you?" John suddenly asked. "You aren't Dean. You aren't my son!"

Dean grimaced and counted back from ten, something he learnt to do to get anything relevant from Cas.

"Well maybe it's because I am, I'm just from the future-"

"Nice trick you could be a shape shifter."

Dean sighed and made a cut on his arm with a silver blade that John handled him. When John's glare hadn't lessened, Dean sighed and continued in a defeated voice.

"I know things that shape shifters won't though. The future. There's angels and God is real too. Haven't seen God though. Seen a lot of angels though and knowing that we're here in the past to keep some goon off of our innocent Sammy, I would think that by now the angels are going crazy with their little niece. See three months ago Sam had a baby."

John nodded and although he seemed to be buying it, there was no telling what he would do.

"I know I shouldn't be telling you about the future but this Sam from the past was innocent, very naïve. They will hurt him and if they do it the way I think then Faith will never be born. Why they want to avoid that I don't know-"

"It sounds like Faith is the first half angel baby from the look of things," John spelt out for him. At Dean's look, John sighed and went on. "I'm not saying I believe you but some things you've been saying made me think. Does Sam think that me dying would really be his fault or that I would die thinking that he hated me? Come on Dean, I know I've been a bad father but not bad enough to make my children think that. I couldn't be that good but I'd like to think that. I did at least a half decent job. Now did I or was I horrible?"

Dean couldn't lie and he knew he was already saying so much and John probably realized that too which was why he stuck to that one question. It was finally feeling good to have his father back and he couldn't help but notice that John seemed to be holding onto the question like he was afraid that they would turn around and say that he was a horrible dad and they would do better without him. That wasn't really true. He still missed his dad and Sam had always felt guilty about fighting with his dad when the man passed on. That was the last thing he ever did and that was the cause of the guilt.

Finally he made contact with the man before him and shook his head watching John soften and smile a small real smile and the first he really remembered seeing.

"Sam and I know it wasn't all bad. You did what you could and sometimes I just forget that Sam would never blame you for any of those things. He loves you and I do too."

"You're so pregnant. Don't tell me an angel knocked you up too."

Okay he could tell the moment was already gone since John was up to cracking a joke like that.

Still it didn't stop him from wanting to kill him. Nor did it stop John from spurting when he realized that Dean hadn't denied the paternity of his future grandchild.

Even then though, Dean couldn't be satisfied until he knew where Sammy was. Everything would be okay once he found his little brother.

* * *

Sam woke up in surprise and found that there was a wash cloth on his forehead. He saw that he was different clothes and he was in a bed as well. He moved and quickly adjusted himself to feel less hurt. His stomach was killing him and seeing movement out of the corner of his eye, he stilled again.

"Sam? Sam please let me know that you're okay."

"Dean?" Sam asked hesitantly. "I don't feel really good right now-"

He felt a hand guiding his head to the garbage can and he was lucky that he was able to get Sam to one right before he threw up. Sam groaned and leant into Dean's shoulder, whimpering and edging closer pushing himself flush against him as though he was trying to keep the only human contact he had in sight.

"I miss Faith. Miss her. Why'd he have to let her be babysat? I want her," he mumbled whimpering more slightly and Dean's heart broke even though he hadn't had an idea who this Faith was. He humorously allowed him to cry into his shoulder though and after some time, was glad when he felt Sam slipping into the edge of unconsciousness. He didn't mean to be mean and all but Sam was being way too emotional than the last time he saw him and that brother of his acted like a bitch. He laughed at the thought of Sam hearing it out loud and paused when Sam shifted only to settle closer to him if it were if any possible.

Dean rolled his eyes but softly but him into bed.

Sam blinked and woke up after thirty minutes of uninterrupted sleep and Dean soothed him with a hand through his hair. He was worried and Sam wasn't making much sense by telling him something about angels, demons and babies. He would have said his brother was on crack if he hadn't known his brother by now. He sighed and that seemed to make Sam rouse himself from his previous stupor. He wasn't alert like he should be at all though and that scared Dean a lot more than anything else did.

"Do you hurt anywhere?" Dean allowed Sam to show him where it hurt the most thinking that the kid was really in a mood right now and would revert back to his three year old self that wanted him to kiss every bump, bruise, and cut. He was surprised when he found a red and puffy area located at his lower abdomen and hissed sympathetically when Sam winced at even the small touch.

"Sammy I'm going to make this all better okay?" Sam nodded and Dean set aside to palpitate the soft area without bringing too much pain. He couldn't handle seeing his little brother in pain but there was no way he could assess the area without this so he could do nothing when Sam whimpered and fisted his big brother's jacket as though looking for comfort against the pain. "Hey, Sammy please tell me how you got this. It's red, puffy, and irritated. What the hell were you doing that they had to cut your stomach open?"

"Baby," Sam managed to reply. "Dean you know bout the baby."

Dean was sure he didn't in fact know of any such thing but the more he allowed Sam to talk, the more of a bigger picture he would see. Sam was naturally someone who would rant and eventually Dean would know everything. He needed to know right now so the best way around that would be to be quiet and allow Sam to continue in his rant although he knew that the kid was lethargic and barely able to string sentences together.

"Had a baby. The cord was wrong so they cut her out and she was breathing. Baby was breathing and she had a head full of hair. If it was a boy, they would have went after him but they can't stand a girl. Why is that Dean? Why can't anyone powerful view a girl the same way?"

Dean snorted and held a palm to his own forehead. Sam wasn't talking right. He couldn't have had a baby because the last time he checked his little brother wasn't into having sex with dudes. Sammy was a good boy who went to school and studied. He might even have gotten a girlfriend but as far as having sex with a guy and popping a baby? Sam was totally innocent. He was still quiet though knowing that if he was quiet for long enough, Sam would explain what was going on. He hoped it was soon though since the Tylenol still didn't do anything to lower the fever and he was five minutes from taking him to the hospital.

"I have Cas Dean and he's an angel. Did you ever see anyone better than that angel?"

Dean bit his lip to keep from laughing. It was sad the way Sam was rationalizing this and he realized that a part of him never wanted his brother to go to school in the beginning. He didn't approve of it but that didn't stop him from sneaking money into the duffel when Sam wasn't looking. He would just turn it down if he knew that Dean was offering him money when he was so against it and even if it was for the opposite reason, he would probably just feel guilty and he would end up giving it back to him.

"Sammy I'm going to take you to the hospital," Dean managed softly.

Sam nodded weakly, still fisting parts of his jacket allowing Dean to laugh weakly.

"Sometimes you remind me of when you were five and you didn't like it when we had to separate and even though you had been excited about kindergarten, that didn't stop you from those heart wrenching looks and whimpers when you realized I wouldn't go with you. You remember that?"

Sam nodded dazedly and Dean smiled warmly picking up the hand that was still clinging to his clothing tightly.

"Well remember what I said then too?" Sam nodded and Dean recited it for him to hear. He knew Sam had to hear it and he also knew that everything was going to be okay even though he didn't know how bad the infection was spread. He knew it was bad from the look of it alone and if he needed surgery, his dad would not be happy. It was always watch over Sammy and keep Sammy safe.

Well their dad couldn't fault him for doing his job right? The job would be here when he got back but Sammy mattered a lot more. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead, he gently whispered what he knew Sammy would want to hear, the one he always whispered when Sammy was scared.

"You know I'm always with you. It doesn't matter if you are ten minutes away or a thousand, with me by your side, nothing bad will ever happen to you."

* * *

A/N: For those who are confused, Sam and Dean are in the past with Dean ending up with PAST!John and Sam ending up finding PAST!Dean. For those of you curious as to where our two favorite angels ended up, they are in the next chapter. :)


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Warning: Male pregnancy.

* * *

Chapter Twenty One

"I told you we shouldn't have taken trouble magnets along."

Cas rolled his eyes. Out of all the people to be stuck with, it had to be his own brother. He idly wondered how Sam was doing and knew that he should have left him behind with their baby. Sam was taking a trip way too soon and if he got sick or became too depressed, he was all alone. Sighing, he ignored Gabriel's rants and headed for any place he could find dry enough to sustain for shelter at the moment. They were out of juice at the moment and if only he had enough, he would definitely find Sam first.

"Bro I don't know how we do it-"

"You need to grow up if you are going to accept responsibility of a child. Raising one isn't easy." Cas interrupted and Gabriel took an annoyed tone with him.

"Seriously bro, it's just like raising a pet only they grow out of the peeing on everything stage and actually hold a conversation. Besides Dean is responsible enough for the both of us, we can manage without us having to give up too much. Just think, we could totally take the kids out to the woods in a few years and make some poor saps think we are cannibalistic forest people. You think they would be forgiving?"

"How do I even put up with you?" Cas asked shaking his head.

Instead of answering, Gabriel pointed to the building and Cas decided to take his brother up on yet another one of his ideas. He knew he would never learn but for the sake of loving Sam, he had to try. Didn't he tell himself he was going to give everything? He was and then some. Gabriel's idea of finding some place to stay obviously meant knocking on each and every door until someone answered. Then if they answered, he determined that they weren't who he was looking for and instantly side stepped them to another door. Cas eventually got in his way.

"Why are we knocking on random doors just for kicks?" Gabriel would have handed it to his brother for that pun but seeing the confusion in his little brother's face; he just sighed and stepped around him too.

"We are supposed to be preserving the future and in the end most of these people won't remember us from their average Joe Smo." Seeing his look of confusion again, Gabriel just wanted to groan. "Just shut up and go with the program. Sam Winchester lives-"

"Not in this building," An innate voice sounded behind him. When both of them looked at him in surprise, he continued rather rudely, "If you would have asked instead of knocking on doors like it was a knock knock joke, then you would have known already!"

"You're so lucky that you're human," Gabriel mumbled snidely. At Cas's look, Gabriel snorted. "I promised not to kill anyone anymore even if they are dicks! Come on we need to find the little bro and convince him to take a little trip. Hopefully our mojo will be back by then and then we get out before people begin to become suspicious."

Cas looked at him as though he was a little lost and then nodded, managing a small smile although Gabriel knew he was in fact worried. Nothing ever did get past him. Passing by the rude student, he wished he could teach him some sort of lesson but then changed his mind.

"Where is Sammy boy then? We have an issue to bring up with him and he's expecting us," Gabriel added.

The student looked a little hesitant.

"You really should. I won't be able to hold him back for long and I really don't want my brother going to jail," Cas interrupted the young man's thought process and could see him begin to tremble.

"He's at a party. I believe he's with some girlfriend of his, Jasmine Ritchie." Cas nodded and waited for more information that he knew the kid was trying to withhold. "God he's in the next dorm over on the second floor. Don't you weirdoes tell him I had anything to do with you seeing him! This is so weird and I think I may have drunk a little too much!"

"Good work bro," Gabriel told him right after the student was gone. "So you really had to think up that one huh but you pulled it off and you got us the information we needed-"

"I was really concerned about you doing something that would get you locked up though. You thought I made something up?" Cas asked tipping his head in full confusion.

"You know what," Gabriel said after a pause. "I hate that you look so innocent and that your baby has your eyes and your boy's innocent puppy dog look and dimples. There is no one anyone would be able to say no to her even when you and Sam decide to have more children."

"Who said anything about more Gabriel?"

Gabriel didn't answer and it was only after a sigh that Cas ran to join his irate brother to get back to the past Sam so that they could keep him safe.

* * *

"OW!"

"Shit I'm sorry Sammy, I really done a number here but I don't get it, you sure changed since the last time I saw you buddy. I think it must be the fever although you have never been able to lie to me before."

Sam nodded and tried to bite his lip to keep from crying out again. Dean pulled the impala up to the emergency room entrance area and parked, pausing to think of how he was going to do this. Throwing up his hands in surrender, he went around and helped ease Sam out of the car. He knew it was going to hurt but he wasn't going to cause him anymore pain than necessary and by sitting down in a wheelchair, the pain could be worse. Of course if he really did have a baby, the pain wouldn't be that bad.

"Come on Sammy we're almost here okay and then you could sleep anyway you want."

"Don't leave," Sam whined and Dean rolled his eyes at such the request.

"Idiot, where do you think I would go? I'm here aren't I," he added softly. Sam nodded and snatched a hand full of his jacket again. It would have been cute if Sam wasn't actually taller than Dean though and out of all the thoughts he could have had, he never thought he would think this one.

He quickly eased him to the front desk seeing as how nobody was waiting outside like they usually did. He assumed the ambulance must have been called out. At the front desk the nurse looked strictly at them and it was all Dean could to adjust them so that Sam wasn't able to fall and hit his head on any hard object or surface before thinking about how rude the nurse was being. He frowned but decided that Sammy was his number one priority.

"My brother seems to be running a fever-"

"Well he could take a seat whilst you fill out the forms." She instructed rudely.

"Of course I would love to do that sweetheart but if that was all I was worried about I wouldn't be in an emergency room at around five in the morning. He seems to also be having a problem with his incision for a supposed Cesarean that I don't remember him ever getting and I watch my kid brother closely-"

The nurse lifted her head for the first time since Dean started conversing with her and he didn't need to wait long after. Sam really didn't look too good. He was pale, sweating, and it looked like he was getting worse than he had earlier. How his incision could cause all that in the span of hours was slowly lost to Dean.

"Okay, we need him on the gurney," the orderly instructed.

Dean quickly helped once again but Sam was far from letting him go just because he wasn't in an upright position anymore and would surely let the staff know about it too. The nurse simply frowned as Dean tagged along to treatment room six and let Sam be guided in first. He was almost told to go wait outside but thankfully that little bugger wouldn't oblige if Dean wasn't in the room as well. He snickered quietly. He is away a few months and comes back looking older and much more clingy. It wasn't like he had a problem with that but the raging fever scared him a bit.

"He did have a baby," the doctor finally said and turned to Dean.

"Wait what?" Dean said finally. "If he had one it would have had to be in the last three months and my brother did not look pregnant at all!"

"Well I see the incision and it looks puffy as hell so he most likely neglected it. As for the pregnancy it's not uncommon to have babies aborted or terminated if you prefer that term better."

"You are a humungous jack ass. My brother wouldn't even consider abortion."

"Well he had a baby," The doctor calmly told him and Dean sighed not wanting to argue with the doctor. Of course he did, he thought wryly. As far as Sam told him, he knew the child to be about three months old right now and she was half angel. In fact she was the only subject that he talked about that Dean could understand whilst everything else was muffled and moaned and whimpered. The baby subject was the only thing he was coherent for. If that wasn't enough though, the doctor continued.

"He also has pneumonia."

"Great, I guess we're going to be in for the long night as well," Dean said sarcastically. Sam rolled his eyes at that and laid back breathing harshly prompting the doctor to examine his breathing now that they knew that the incision was indeed very infected.

"I'm gonna die aren't I," Sam wheezed. "I'm gonna die and Faith will be all alone and Anna is gonna traumatize her."

The doctor actually smiled at that and Dean arched an eyebrow wondering what the doctor was going to do.

"Really? Well I have a three year old and the babysitter very mildly traumatizes him so that he doesn't climb everywhere in sight. Is it like that or is she a bit younger?"

"Three months," Sam moaned. "She coos and scares the baby. In just two minutes alone."

Dean didn't like how his breathing was becoming harsh and the doctor seemed to notice for he pushed him to the corner of the room and started to tell him in a harsh whisper.

"You're brother is very very sick. I'm gonna sedate him and intubate him to give his body a chance to heal. We're going to then admit him and push antibiotics for the pneumonia whilst we go in there and sort out the stitches. Something got infected and I want to prevent him from becoming septic although he looks like he's well on his way to becoming it."

Dean took to eyeing Sam before turning back to the doctor.

"What are the chances of him doing okay?"

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment before giving his answer.

"About fifty to seventy five. It could be bad but it could have already been worse. You're lucky you took him in when you did."

Dean nodded with a sigh.

He was going to have to call his dad.

* * *

"Wow my phone works," Gabriel observed and Cas eyed it before glaring at him. "What I didn't know that my phone would work so sue me baby brother."

"You are going to make fun of me for eternity, aren't you?"

"Yeah well your cute little three month old doesn't have to hide my stuff when she gets mad either but she does."

"She's not that powerful outside of the stomach Gabriel-"

"Are you kidding me? She has programmed alarms and all sort of buzzers and who knows what else when she thinks she is being ignored and then when you dorks go running to her, she is suddenly all lovey dovey and you all believe she is so innocent. But she is far from it. I bet she got that from me, I must be her favorite uncle."

"You are having twins," Cas shot back lamely.

"Well if you're right then you get whatever you want okay?" When Cas nodded Gabriel went back to laughing. "Who am I kidding? As long as my kids aren't soulless…"

"They won't be," Cas reassured kindly. "I know the Winchesters and if Dean is anything like Sam he won't care but I also don't think so."

"Care to elaborate then little brother?"

He could tell Gabriel was getting annoyed so he continued.

"If they were made around the time that Sam gave birth even then it proves it. He's showing a little bit and if he's around twelve to fifteen weeks, it just means that the baby is either bigger, it's twins, or his body is holding the pregnancy different than Sam. Your baby has a soul though."

"Yeah, I believe you up to the point about the soul but you still have to prove to me about the twin thing and then when you do, you have to hide me."

"Why?"

Gabriel sighed.

"Because once he finds out, he's gonna want to hurt me and there is only so much I could do before he could get off on that."

"Consider it punishment for ruining Bobby's kitchen table then," Cas replied and Gabriel twitched annoyingly.

"Seriously I know that it wasn't the best ideas and Dean was hurting for a little after that-"

"Wait you really did?" Cas asked with widened eyes. Gabriel finally smiled and laughed.

"Unfortunately it's a bad time to joke little brother, we need to get into that party and hunt down little Sam so that we could protect him from the demon wanting to kill him. And maybe wonder why everything happens to us. Then we could reunite with our boys and possibly get home in time for a wedding."

"Sam doesn't want a big wedding though-"

"Sam also has low self-esteem bro. This is the one time you have to tell him to go for it because he won't and then you will never have that big wedding again because it's only good once."

"Sam doesn't want it because he says we already have a kid and he thinks it will be easier-"

"For who, you or the baby? It won't definitely be his say because he tries to downplay it but if there's anything that should send warning signals to you, it should be the fact that he's had your baby and he's done things your way. You aren't big on the whole thing so he's playing like it isn't a big deal but for someone like him, it is a big deal," Gabriel finished with a frown. "If it helps you could ask the past version of him if he prefers a quiet wedding or a big one. He had dreams back then too."

Cas nodded although he still frowned a little. Sam was the love of him life and he just felt like he could have made the biggest mistake yet. Maybe it was because Sam generally never really fussed until he had Faith and then it was the baby crying to which Cas tried to lessen the big expectations by getting help from his siblings. It worked for a little while until Sam really really missed having the baby in his arms and then came the post-partum depression. He sighed.

"I want to find my Sam as soon as possible too you know."

"Well I'll give Deano a call then. It can't hurt to call him."

Cas nodded.

He suddenly felt a burning jab where his heart was and he had a feeling something was happening to Sam. Every time something bad happened he felt it and this was proving to be no exception. He just hoped he was safe and sound because he couldn't live with himself if anything happened to him. With sudden realization, he knew he wouldn't be able to live without him either. Sam was his savior, his saving grace and there was no world he would want to be in that didn't have Sam Winchester there too.

He was the love of his life and his reason for being here now.


End file.
